The Pearl and the Rose
by E.W.S. Miami
Summary: Book Two - Takes Suzanne Collins's Catching Fire and tells the same story from the point of view of Peeta Mellark. It explains a lot of the back story about how Peeta dealt with the heartaches. It is a book that shows us how Peeta, still cares deeply for Katniss and how Katniss may be understanding just how much. This is a re-published of the original that was removed for revisions
1. Chapter 1

Introduction

Thank you so much for taking the time to read the second book of Suzanne Collins's Hunger Games Trilogy. The whole idea of this book is to watch the same events that occurred in the book Catching Fire, but tell it from the point of view of another character in the book.

The character that I have decided to share from the point of view is from the baker's son, Peeta Mellark. This book dives into the pain of having your heart broken. It touches on how to survive the rejection from the woman that he has dreamt about all his life. That at the end he realizes what true love really is.

The whole series is about six books all written from the point of view from Peeta Mellark. It follows the three Suzanne Collins books and three after that takes into account what I believe is missing information from the ending of book three. Thank you and now without further delay.

* * *

Part One

"The Oath"

Chapter One

The sunsets have always been my favorite thing to watch. All the days that I would spend in the District, just watching the sunset, the colors and the way it just made me feel are memories that I couldn't forget even if I tried. It is something that, even now after all that has happened, no one can ruin. It does reminds me of the our little home in the Games. It feels like it was just yesterday that we were there watching the sunset. How the colors would dance on the cave ceiling, the different shades of red, and oranges, it still vividly engrained in my mind. In my dreams I can still remember the sounds of the water, how peaceful it felt in the very early mornings and the way the light would bounce off the walls of the cave as the day was just beginning. It was our little home away from the truth of the Games.

And now, the truth has become only a nightmare. It was all a lie. It was all a game to survive, a manipulation orchestrated by the one person I put my trust in.

I grab a pebble and just throw it, not caring where it will land.

I don't blame her; heck I probably would have done the same thing in her shoes. After all we all had to do what we had to do, to live, to survive.

The view from the roof of my house here in the Victor's village is my new roof top garden. It reminds me of the one in the Training Center. It was the one place where I was happy, in a place surrounded by death. This small little place in District Twelve is the place where I can clear my head, to just forget if only but a moment of where I am, and how I got here. It is a place where I don't have to think about her.

"Peeta, dinner is ready," my mother calls out.

I make my way down to the window on the second floor. Once inside I close the window and look outside. I look out and see Katniss's house with the lights on and with smoke in the chimney. I hope she is recovering better than I am.

It took us a couple of weeks after I got back from the Capitol to move all of our belongings to the new house in the Victor's village. I can still remember that day when I got to see my family again.

We had just step into the car when I let go of Katniss's hand. I couldn't look at her, because it would break my heart and cause me to remember that it was all a lie. We didn't speak along the ride and most of the time I just looked outside as the car moved towards the Justice Building. It seems like all a dream, everything has this haze to it.

The Mayor wanted to congratulate us in private so we made it the rear of the Justice Building away from the crowds.

"Wanted to say congratulations on your victory," he says. "You have made your District very proud of both of you."

"Thank you Mayor Undersee, all we did was just stay alive using whatever _methods_ we had available." I say.

"Yes," Katniss chimes in.

"Well I know you two would like some privacy. So I will leave you to it." He says before leaving.

The door closes and I sit in a chair.

"Peeta, I -" Katniss starts to say.

"Please, let's not make it more difficult than it has to be. Can you respect that for me?" I cut her off.

She walks to the door opens and closes it.

The echo of the door close sounds like it is a final goodbye. We would have to get back together before the Victory Tour, but that is months away. I let out a deep sigh and go to the door. I see my Father is waiting for me downstairs with my mother and my brothers.

"Hey, Papa, you guys missed me?" I say with a smile.

"Come here, and give your father a hug," he says.

We hug and I breathe in the warm bread smell from his shirt. He is still covered in flour, but I don't care.

He lets go and my entire clothes is now littered with flour.

"Here you have something on your face," my father says, and removes a small patch of flour on my cheek.

"Um, what about all this?" I say pointing at my entire clothes.

We all laugh for a moment before he puts his arm around my shoulder.

"Come on lets go home." He says.

"Don't forget we have a new house that we have to move to?" I remind them.

He looks back at me. "Son, that is your house, we are fine in our house."

"Papa, I insist that you come and live with me."

Truth be told, I would rather have someone in the house with me, still can't get use to the quiet. Having difficulty sleeping when there is no one there.

"What about…you know?" He says.

"What?" I ask.

"You know the new little lady…we do watch the TV for time to time." He says.

"Well talk about that later, okay?" I ask, wanting him to think it over.

"Of course son, tonight we celebrate." He says patting my back.

That day we ate the best cake from our bakery and invited everyone for a piece. Well everyone who wanted to come. Although the District was happy to have us back, they act like we are going to lose it any moment and become like Haymitch, or worst.

The days that follow, everything slowed down to a relative normalcy. People would start to enter the bakery and say hi and ask me about the Games.

After much talk and much debate we all moved to the brand new house in the Victor's village. My mother for the first time was agreeing on something that I had suggested. I don't mind having her in my house, I still love her, strong willed woman that she is, no emotions but I still imagine her when I was five.

When it was said and done, we fit better in the new house. My father would sometimes sleep over the old house. He said it was to get a jump start on the next day, but I think that he would rather be in a place that he recognizes. I don't mind him staying where ever he wants. I start to take on more responsibility in the bakery and even get to open and close a couple of days out of the week.

This gives my father much needed rest from the day, although he doesn't know what to do with it. I just try to fill in the days, seeing how I don't have need for anything really. We have enough money to last, and I don't have to go to school or even to the mines. The days I am not in the bakery, I am walking around the District. I started to paint and sketch on my free time, which is most of the time.

Whenever I can't sleep, I would make my way to the roof of the house and just stare out to the moon. Sometimes I would just lay there and stare at the stars. It reminds me of the day that I was on the Cornucopia with her wrapped in my arms on the last day of the Games. Granted I was dying but still a good memory to remember.

My family lives in the middle of both Katniss's house and Haymitch's. Whenever I would venture out to the Square or to the Seam, I would wait until the sun was out. Once I wanted to get up early to see the sunrise, and as I was walking out, I saw her walking out of her house. At that time, I just wanted to forget and go back to the way things were, seeing her from afar. After a while though, I knew that it would be impossible to forget her.

"So are we ever going to talk about it?" My father asked me once a couple of weeks ago.

"Talk about what?" I ask, knowing full well what he was referring to.

"Well, how come I haven't met her yet?" He asks.

"You have, don't you remember she would come to the back door of the bakery to trade?" I tell him, being evasive.

"Peeta, don't be smart with me. Now, son, tell me what's wrong." He asks again.

"Oh, it's nothing; just things didn't work out as I had hope." I mumble, trying to be as vague as possible.

"Son, don't give up on her. I can tell from her eyes, that she cares for you. She may not have it all figured out, but the eyes don't lie." He says.

I pat him on the knee, tell him thanks for the talk and walk upstairs to fall asleep.

That night the nightmares was simply too much. Most of the time it was me in the arena, dying, but this time around it was different.

We were in the final struggle with Cato. He had held me choking me with his arm, when Katniss fired her arrow, this time hitting me in the chest. Surprised Cato drops me, and Katniss lets go of another arrow right in Cato's neck. As I lay there on the horn, bleeding from my calf and chest, my last moments are of her pulling out the arrow and letting the blood just drip to the ground.

I feel someone shaking me. "Son, wake up,"

I open my eyes, and for a moment I don't know where I am, and whether or not I am still in the arena.

"Son, son, it is ok, you are in District Twelve. The Hunger Games are over. You were having a nightmare." He shakes me.

"It was…a dream?" I say. "Was it all a dream?"

"No, the hunger games was real and but you are home now." He says.

I don't really sleep much, and when I do it isn't very long. I can only remember one time when I slept through the night and woke up the following day. It was the beginning of spring, and well things had finally gotten back to normal. Well as normal as it came be. Everyone had gone back to their routine. Baking bread in the morning and staying in the shop the whole day.

It was mid-day when I remember going into the back to get the newly fresh rolls of bread. I was just walking back when I hear the door chime. I walk out and see for the first time in months, Katniss with her little sister Prim.

"Hello," I politely greet her.

"Hello, Peeta." She says not trying to make eye contact.

"Katniss, I want that one." Little Primrose says to her tugging her shirt. She looks remarkably like her sister but a younger version and with blonde hair. She wears her hair in two braids and I just smile when I start to point out the displays.

"So you are Katniss's little sister? You know I know a lot about you. Your sister would tell me everything." I say to Primrose.

Her eyes open wide open and says

"Everything?"

"Well not everything, but I know about your cat and your goat." I truthfully say to her. "We have a lot in common your goat and I."

"Really?" She says.

"Now, Prim…may I call you Prim," I ask. She nods yes. "Which one would you want?"

"The pink one," she says.

"Ah! The pink one. Yes this one?" She nods. "This little cupcake is a special little cupcake; I made it as the sun was rising." handing it to her. "I think it has your name on it."

She giggles and begins to unwrap the wrapping.

I look up and see that Katniss eyes are close to an emotional response. I mouth the words, it is ok, I am ok, and she just looks out to the door.

"Prim, we have to get going. Mother is waiting for us at the house." She says to her sharply.

"Katniss, can I tell something to Peeta?" she asks. "But wait for me outside, I don't want you to hear."

It takes a couple of please for her, but Katniss finally agrees and walks outside.

I walk towards little Primrose.

"Okay, Prim, what do you want to tell me?" I ask her.

"Come closer, it is a secret." She says.

I lean in and place my ear to her mouth.

"Thank you for saving her." She says, and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

I look back at her, and see the same grey eyes, innocent and pure. I smile and tell her simply.

"She saved me."

14


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Today is the day that I have been trying to forget. The sun comes up like any other day but I am already up and dressed before anyone even gets up. My father even looks at me surprised when I ask to walk with him to the bakery.

The whole week, we were getting people in from the Capitol to our little district. No, it isn't time for the reaping, but it is time for the Victory Tour. Our prep team will be in the District by noon; well that is what Effie Trinkets tells me in a letter she sent last week. It is in pre-preparation for the arrival. Effie is the one woman who can prepare to be prepared, and can teach a clock on how to be on time.

Today the whole circus begins all over again. The reporters and the people from the Capitol all will make their appearance in our district. The only good thing that I can say about today is that Portia will be coming to oversee my remake.

We have gotten relatively close on the phone. Inside ever house in the Victor Village have telephones. They are a mean of communications to the Capitol. Every Friday in the evening Portia would call to see how I have been adjusting to the artificial leg.

"I have been running sometimes in the District, and lifting heavy bags in the bakery, when no one is looking," I tell her on the phone.

"That is good Peeta. How have you been sleeping?" She asks.

"Well I try to sleep, it is hard sometimes, and the memories sometimes are your worst enemy." I admit.

"Well we will be in the District next week so we will talk more, try and get some rest. It is good for the skin." Portia says.

"And my sanity." I say jokingly.

We walk towards the square. The Victor's village is a good walk away from the square but we enjoy it along the way. The winter snow has yet to fall but soon enough we would be getting into our winter time. The birds are still out though, and make their songs.

"Peeta," he says.

"Yes, Papa." I respond.

"You ready for today? I mean you haven't had any contact with her in months, are you ready to meet your past again?" He asks.

"We will see. I have seen her from time to time, but nothing too concrete." I confess.

"Well son, know that how you present yourself is a reflection of who you are. You name means something and don't sell yourself short, you are a Victor of the Hunger Games, and not many people can say that." He says.

I just nod and we continue to walk to the Bakery. By the time we get there, the sun is almost out.

"Need any help?" I ask.

"No, I have this. Go and enjoy your last day here before the tour. We will be watching." He says shooing me out of the bakery.

"Don't worry I won't leave without saying goodbye."

"I don't have to worry, not any longer." He says with a smile.

We exchange nudges and he walks into the bakery.

I walk back to looking at the trees just outside the District. Still feels like I am a prisoner in my own District. I see the bird and can hear them, but they hardly come inside the District, almost like they know that inside here nothing escapes but withers and dies.

"What are you think about?" I hear someone asks.

I jump back a little startled.

"Oh, hey Delly, what am I thinking? Nothing much really, I am just trying to wrap my head around the tour." I confess.

"Well Peeta just think, touring the District visiting places we here in District Twelve can only imagine." She says.

"The family of the tributes that we killed? We get to visit them too. Not much of a vacation there." I say with an unsure voice.

"Yeah, but you have to think of it in a positive light. Where is the Peeta, that would day dream and think about the world outside?" She asks me.

"The Hunger Games took him, haven't seen him since that day," I admit.

"He is still there; I can still see him, little glimpses here and there." She says poking at me.

"Lets hope that he finds his way back out, because I sure could use him today." I say with a smile.

"Well just think of it like this, all we have are our memories. If you can remember him, then you can be him again. Things happen and well we can't change that, but we can remember the good times." She says. "Remember you _love_ to be outside, and for a time you were."

Delly can always remind me of the good times. She caught me once in school staring out at Katniss. Of course I made some excuse and said that I would love to be outside. She just caught that I was trying to make an excuse and capitalized on it.

"Do you think I could be outside again?"

"Who knows, stranger things have happened before." She says, walking away.

I sit down by a tree and just watch people walk by. Visitors would walk up to me and shake my hand. For what, I have no clue. I am guessing they are fans of the Games. They would ask about Katniss and of course I would have to be on stage and say that she is at home getting ready, but honestly I have no idea where she is.

For all I know she could be with Haymitch.

Haymitch our former mentor. The one who played both me and her for fools. He used my feelings for Katniss to work up some strategy for both her and for me. The thing is that I wasn't angry at him for that, but more for them not telling me afterwards that we were in danger from the Capitol.

I didn't want to think about him. The master of deception, the king of manipulation, I know now that his talents in the Games were the same as Clove, the manipulator of situations. It wasn't but a few weeks ago when I finally had my day with him.

The old man all drunk and walking along the path from the Hob. He tried to stop me, and I was just trying to avoid him.

"You want to take a swing at me?" He says. "You think I wronged you in some way?"

"Get away from me, old drunk. I don't want anything to do with you," I say, pushing him away.

I had been walking towards the square looking at my feet, bad habit I know, but I wanted to make sure that I was walking without a limp. I must have stop because I saw someone's shadow approach me. I look up and see him, couldn't care less if he was drunk or sober.

"My job was to do one thing, and one thing only," he says. "It was to keep her alive. Remember?"

"You could have told me," I say angrily.

"What like you told me your plan of joining the Careers?" He says. "Boy, you are not so innocent in this. You asked me to save her. You told me that it was your plan that she survives. I saw a way to do it and I took it."

"Was it your idea, in the cave?" I ask.

"Nope, that was all on her," he says swaying back and forth. Yup he is drunk.

"Look I don't care about the arena," I admit. "I am through with the both of you."

"Like it or not, you will have to keep up the relationship," he tells me. "You have to realize the danger that both you and her are in. If they found you played them, what do you think; they are just going to let you get away with it. The Victory Tour is your chance to finally get out of the woods. The Games haven't ended they are still going on. You think the Capitol will just kill you or her? No, you forget they like to make a statement. You think that District Thirteen wasn't a statement? Now think if they can make an entire District disappear do you think they will blink at you, or say your family?"

It finally sinks in. The real danger that we are in. I don't really care much about me, but my family I do care for. They don't deserve to suffer from my failures.

"Something to think about. Before you blame anyone let's get through it first." He says. "Love is a tricky thing, unpredictable; you think that she doesn't cares for you? If you do, then you are the fool."

"It doesn't matter. It was all a lie."

"Behind every lie is a small level of truth." He says.

I walk away not wanting to hear another word from the drunk. I do owe him, for saving her. A debt is a debt, and if anything because of my name, I will honor it.

That was a couple of weeks ago. I still haven't worked out my feeling for her. But I know that something inside me can't let her go. Walking back into the bakery and find that my father is taking out the breads out of the oven.

"Can I have a loaf for Haymitch?" I ask my father.

He nods and hands me a freshly baked loaf.

Walking back towards the Victor's Village, I remind myself that today I have to put my feelings aside for my family. After the tour, I can finally just rest and let it all slip away.

Haymitch's house is the least maintained even though the other houses there are no one living there. The door is open and it seems that Haymitch already has a visitor. I walk through the open door and find that the odor almost knocks me down. I think it is a defense to keep people away. I breathe from my mouth and work my way through the dirty clothes.

Just then I hear a splash and hear an old man yelling at someone.

"Why am I all wet?" he asks.

"I couldn't shake you awake," she says. Her voice is so familiar that I could spot it in a crowd. It seems that Katniss has come in to wake up our mentor.

"Look if you wanted to be babied, you should have asked Peeta." Says Katniss.

"Asked me what?" I say coming from behind.

She turns around and I can tell she wasn't expecting to see me there.

I place the loaf on the table and ask for Haymitch's knife.

"Asked you to wake me without giving me pneumonia," he says passing me his knife.

Haymitch removes the wet clothes and begins to rub himself down dry. The smell is unbearable.

I smile grab a bottle of liquor and sanitize the knife with the alcohol. I wipe the blade on my shirt and slice the bread. I slice a couple slices of bread before I hand back the knife to Haymitch.

I look up and ask.

"Would you like a piece?"

"No, I ate at the Hob," she says. "But thank you."

"You're welcome," I respond.

Haymitch throws his shirt to a pile of dirty shirts.

"Brrr. You two have got a lot of warming up to do before showtime."

Showtime. Yes the stage. Our great lie to the Capitol. That she is madly in love with is the lie. It isn't a lie from my heart. We are still just puppets of the Capitol, pawns in their Games.

"Take a bath, Haymitch," she says as she opens a window and jumps out.

Leave it to Katniss to always make an exit.

"She still has spunk." He laughs.

"Yeah, she still does." I say.

"Sit down, have a drink. Seems like you need it." He says. "This is the first time since the train?"

"No, but it might as well be." I say.

"You have to get over it. Life is actually too short and could be made shorter if we are not careful." He tells me.

"Haymitch really, take a bath. You stink." I say, walking out the front door.

Walking back, I can see that Katniss has some company. I see a black car parked in front of the house, and a couple of peacekeepers or I think it is peacekeepers. They are all dress in black and walk around the house. I wonder who is here.

I get to the door of my house. Tap my boots on the door and open the door.

"Peeta," my mother shouts from the kitchen.

"I know, I am taking off my shoes." I shout back.

I sit down and take off the artificial leg. I remove the shoe from the leg and place it near the fire. I slip on the leg and take off the other shoe. This is what I have to do every time I come into the house. Wouldn't it be great to have two artificial legs one for the outside and one for the inside?

I may have to ask Portia to see if we can work something out.

"Is the prep team from the Capitol here?" I ask.

"No Peeta, they come at noon, don't you remember the letter from that lady Effie?" my mother asks.

So who is at Katniss? Probably some officials going over what the Tour will comprise of. I guess they will go over it with her and then with me. I walk upstairs, and go into the bathroom to wash my face. I walk to my room, and when I come to the window, I see that the car door closes and begins to drive away.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

The water always seems to calm me. Although the silence bothers me now, under the water I can hear my own heart beat. It helps calm me, because it is something that I can control. I can hear myself breathing and it is something that I can control.

I hear commotion downstairs and think, it is probably that official that was just at Katniss's house. I get out of the tub and steady myself. After much practice I have made it my job to learn to steady myself on my good leg. All that lifting the heavy bags of flour has helped me strengthen my good leg and my arms.

I slip on my artificial leg, wipe off the condensation off the bathroom mirror and just stare at my reflection for a moment. I move my hair out of my eyes, and just for a moment say out loud.

"Show time."

I walk out and find that their in my room stands a very beautiful woman, looking outside the window. I smile and say, you're early.

She turns around and there she stands, Portia my stylist.

"Peeta, you look just as handsome as the first day I met you. Time to get you back to beauty base zero." She says. "First put these on."

She walks by and closes the door. She has left me a very comfortable white long sleeve shirt, and pair of black pants.

"Ready?" She says from behind the door.

"Yes, I am. Come let's make me beautiful." I say with my arms open.

My prep team comes in with a chair. They place it in the middle of my room and ask that I sit. I look at them a little uneasy and as soon as I sit down, they take out their tools.

"Let's make sure to shape the eyebrows into something manly. And let's do something about the long hair." Portia says.

They bring out a pair of scissors and a box. They ask me to place my hands on the box. When I do a current goes through my hands and stand my hair on its end. Then they begin to cut the hair while it is standing.

"This is the way Peeta to make sure that the shape is perfect. Each hair will tell us its length and by the time we are done it will be like a symphony, each hair sings a note." Portia says.

The way she describes things are inspiring. She is about to say something else when something catches her eyes. Her head turns and she approaches a painting.

"Did you paint this?" Portia comes to a painting.

"Yes, do you like?" I say as they cut my hair.

"I don't like, I simply love." She says.

The painting is of a stream, with the forest surrounding it. The colors of the sunlight envelope the beginning portion of the cave and then like roots make their way to the edges of the canvas. It is taken from the view of a person in a cave, so only a small portion of the view is shown. It is the view of our cave from the Games.

"You said, to paint what I remember, that way it helps me forget, no?" I tell her.

"Yes, but I never knew you were so talented, Peeta." She says.

It was one of those days that it was thundering and raining profusely. It reminded me of the Games and I felt trapped. My parents couldn't understand what is going on in my mind, so they couldn't help me through it. It became a process that they began to understand, so when they see that I am remembering something they just let me work through it. That time, I had made my way downstairs and out the door in the rain. I rain for almost thirty minutes without stopping. Making it all the way to where Katniss use to live. I sat in front of the door and just stayed there until the rain had found every part of my body.

I don't know if this is what Haymitch goes through and numbs or stops it with alcohol. It is something that one day I will have to ask him. Does it help? Does it make him forget? Does it make it less painful?

Finally walking home, I could see that the rain had not let up and that my parents were waiting for me to come home. Coming in my father placed a warm blanket over you.

There was fear that day that I would get pneumonia but I made it through the night. The following day, I received my first phone call from Portia to see how I was doing.

When I finally broke down on the phone and told her that I wasn't sleeping and that the nightmares wouldn't let me sleep. She said that if you can remember the memory the way it really happened it allows you to forget the way your mind is changing it in the nightmare which gives the ability to forget.

She suggested that I start painting it, and that way you can see it the way it really was. That day I started to paint the Games. Everything that caused me to not be able to sleep, those memories that haunt me in the night.

It has helped a good amount, although sometimes even the painting doesn't help.

"All done," says one of my prep team.

"Come let's take a look." She says.

"Am I beautiful?" I ask her.

"No, you are handsome." She says moving my hair in the correct location. "Shall we go outside to show Katniss."

I smile from ear to ear. "Think she will like?"

"Only one way to find out." She says.

We walk down the stairs. By this time my father had closed a little early so that he would be able to say goodbye. I give him a hug, and he whispers in my ear.

"You hear me. You follow that to the letter." He says with seriousness in his eyes. Reminds of the time he told me about never letting anyone take away who you are.

I nod and he just nods.

I embrace my mother and tell her that I love her. She is a little thin woman, but I still long for her embrace.

I say goodbye to my brothers and they just give me the head nod.

Portia hands me a warm dark coat and opens the door. "Come it is time for the outdoor shot."

I walk outside and see her from afar. She locks in on my eyes. I see her smile and I my smile just mimic hers. I start to walk towards her. She is at first walking towards me, but then for some reason she starts to run towards me in the snow. I open my arms as to catch her, and she leaps into them. I embrace her and just begin to spin her around. My artificial leg slips and we fall into the snow.

She lands on top of me, good thing we landed on some snow. She and I are laughing, when she leans in and we kiss. It has been months since we have kissed, and with my eyes closed I can see the same girl that I kissed in the cave. The many times I would kiss her on her forehead when she would sleep. All the emotions come rushing back, and instead of stopping them, I let them in.

She stands and pulls me up. I can see that her emotions are coming onto the face. I grab her hand and slowly caress her palm with my thumb. I lean in and whisper.

"Ssssh, it is okay."

She smiles, almost like saying thank you. She tucks her arm in my arm and pulls me along.

"Peeta, how lovely it is to see you again." Effie tells me.

"Good day, Effie, you look simply a vision of beauty." I tell her.

She smiles from ear to ear.

"However, is it okay that Katniss looks a little bit more beautiful to me?" I continue.

"Ah! Young love." She says.

Katniss looks at me and leans her head on my shoulder.

"Come, come, we have a big day ahead of us and we have to maintain ourselves on schedule. It is a sign of -" Effie begins to say.

"Good manners," We both say at the same time.

Effie just looks back huff and says, "Well it is. Now if we can get Haymitch to learn some we would be in good shape."

We are place in a car and before we know it, we are off to the train station. It takes us a no time to arrive at the train station where they are more cameras waiting for us.

I get out of the car and walk over to the other side and open the door. I hand her my hand and help her out of the car. As she comes out of the car, I am still holding her hand when I spin her and stop with my hands around her waist. I am holding her from behind. I say to her.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look?"

"Not lately," she says.

"Well you do, and I am simply mesmerized by you." I admit.

"Come on, you say that to all the girls." She says.

"Only one girl that can stop the birds from singing." I whisper.

Her smile changes to one of seriousness. I guess that is a little bit too real, too soon. She kisses me softly, and pulls me along.

We get in the train and we both turn and wave at the cameras. The door slides closed and she lets go of my hands. We both turn in opposite directions and the train begins to leave.

I walk to my room and the door closes. I sit at the edge of the bed and remove my jacket. I throw it on the floor, and lay down on the bed, staring on the ceiling.

A couple of minutes go by and the train is really moving before I hear a knock. I get up and come to the door and it is Effie, letting me know that dinner is ready.

We walk to the dining car. There they all are, Katniss, Haymitch, Cinna, and Portia. We sit down and eat an amazing meal of beef stew with red potatoes on wild rice. After the meal, Haymitch speaks up and tells us that we best get our rest that we would need it tomorrow.

I stand and go to my room; the muscles in my legs feel tired, ever since the Games the cold weather makes drain my energy quicker. I sit on the bed, and just stare at the ground. I can still feel her embrace and still taste her lips. No matter how angry I am, I still care for her. Finally after about thirty minutes I just remove my artificial leg and lay down on the bed sheets which are so soft that I can help but to close my eyes.

The picture of us in the snow, smiling at each, laughing, actually happy, it is not real. It is just for the cameras, but who cares. I am still hooked, there is nothing I can do, nothing I can say, that would ever let me forget her. It takes me a couple of minutes to finally fall asleep. It isn't until the slowing down that I realize that we have made it to the halfway mark. Where I walked with her and had given her the flowers.

I open the door and find that both Katniss and Haymitch had walked out. For some reason this is their area where they talk truthfully. I walk back to my room not wanting to know what they talked about. All I can think about is what will happen when we make it to the first stop. Would we do what we should, would we say what we should? Am I just being too paranoid thinking that my family is in trouble?

The dreams don't come tonight, but the night is filled with nightmares of my family dying without a reason. I can't help but break down and wonder if life would ever get to be normal. Is this what my life is come to? It feels like it is a house of cards being placed on a table that the slightest wind can bring down.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Tired. Even my eyelids are having a hard time working properly. I start the day just lying down in my bed, realizing that I slept in the clothes. It is Portia's fault for making them so comfortable and warm; the material just absorbs and reflects the heat, not letting any leave out.

I hear the door and I know that it is time to beginning the day. I slip on my leg and walk towards the door.

"Peeta, we are approaching District Eleven and we have to go over your speech." Effie Trinket says.

"Isn't it written down, you know all prepared?" I ask her.

"Well yes of course, but each of the Victors has the ability to write a little something at the end." She corrects me.

Something to think about, not only do we have to visit the districts of the tributes we killed, but we also have to say a speech to people that blame us for surviving. The Capitol's cruel way of a joke, I guess.

We go and have breakfast and find that Katniss is not going to be joining us. It seems that the prep team got up around dawn to begin the process. Portia tells me that the process is longer for girls, because of the amount of hair that needs to be removed. With the boys, the only place that hair is removed is on the face. The hair has to be place perfectly and the hands scraped of all signs of hard labor.

After breakfast I walked back to my room and sat on the ground looking out of the window. Seeing the trees just whiz by, and not knowing where we are, but knowing where we are going. Wonder how much farther we have until we make it to District Eleven. What will I say to the people there? How can I say that I am sorry for their lost, in a way that doesn't look bad to the Capitol?

The Districts is basically little cities spread out in between all of these beautiful vast landscapes. There are moments though that natural beauty meets with physical restrictions. There was a day once when I was painting outside. I wanted to capture the early morning sunlight on a bent oak. The long strong branch had made its way from outside the fence to inside. It was an interesting picture. You didn't know if it was the outside that was the prison or the inside. It was sort of a grey area. I think it represented me well sort of. Locked away in my own memories but to the outside world free to dream and imagine. Although all this is again held in a prison of whom you are and where you live.

I must have spent hours just there sketching the tree and the fence. People would just stop and some would comment on the progress. After the sunlight had finally gone away, I walked back to Victor's Village with sketchbook in hand. I had always thought of beauty as a natural thing, not something manufactured.

I never did understand the need for beauty that the Capitol placed so much emphasize on. They are so bent on removing all signs of what makes us, us. I look at my hands, the scares from the fire at the oven and I think that it makes me a baker's son.

"Papa, did you know that you always wanted to be a baker?" I ask him.

It is a lazy afternoon, and we are cleaning the trays of bread. The afternoon light just peers through the glass windows.

"Well that is a difficult question." He responds. "My father and his father before him, we were always in the bakery, all the way to the Dark Days, us Mellarks we always had this bakery."

"So you never wanted to do something else," I ask.

"Those types of choices weren't available to us. You see me and what do you see?" He says motioning to himself.

"I see my father." I tell him.

"See, people around here, they see me and they see a baker because of where I am working and what I am wearing." He says. "But if I were to do this."

He removes his apron and places it on the counter.

"Most people still a baker, because they associate me with what I do. But you said it right, when you said I was a father." He says. "The thing is son; you have to realize that what you do in life should never say who you are in life."

I always remembered that. Beauty fades but what you look like should never be who you are.

Must have spent hours just there thinking about things that to other did not matter. I can still remember before I left, what my father had told me. He was serious enough to not want anyone else to hear it.

I finally get up and make my way to the sitting room, when I realized that it is already lunch time and the Capitol attendant is serving the meal.

Must have spent more than just a couple of minutes in my room, I guess you lose track time sometimes when you are thinking about your loved ones.

I sit down and Effie, and Cinna join me.

"Good afternoon Peeta how are you feeling?" Cinna asks.

"Pretty good, this ride feels a little bit longer than last time." I look outside.

"Yes, it is a little bit further to District Eleven that it is to the Capitol, different paths to take." He says.

"Oh, Peeta, how did you sleep?" Portia ask as she comes into the dining car.

"Wasn't really sleeping, was just thinking, wanted to sketch some of the landscape, but we are really moving quickly." I point out with my pencil.

"Yes that would make things a little bit difficult." Effie says.

The door opens and Haymitch walks in, or rather tries to walk him. He is in one of his foul moods, probably a hangover. Doesn't he know that drinking too much will always lead to another horrible hangover? That alone has stopped me from drinking was the after effect. Don't think anyone would stop me if I had started though, most people in this train know what horrors we have seen.

We start to eat and everyone is complimenting the food and how wonderful everything is. They talk about the sheets in their rooms and how the thread count really makes a difference in the quality of sleep.

No one but me notices that Katniss has come in, looking tired and very much not in the mood for any sort of conversation. Once in the cave she was like this, and I just left her alone. Sometimes we need our space to work out the things that are going on in our minds.

"Katniss, I hear that you were up at the crack of dawn with the prep team. Peeta how do you think she look?" Effie says.

"Yes," Katniss says.

I make no attempt to respond to the question by Effie, it seems that Katniss is in no mood.

"Katniss aren't you excited about the Tour, we are almost to District Eleven, and there everyone will get to meet you. Isn't that wonderful?" Portia says to her.

"Oh yes, wonderful," she says in a serious tone.

All of the sudden the train begins to slow down and our server comes to the table to let us know that it is going to be a little bit longer than usual as a part on the train has malfunctioned and must be replaced.

"How long will we be delayed?" Effie asks.

"At least one hour." The attendant says.

"One hour?" Effie says grabbing her clipboard. "No no, this will not do, we are on a very tight schedule and we must be on our way to District Eleven by this time."

"I am truly sorry, but there is nothing we can do." The attendant replies.

"No one cares, Effie!" Katniss finally snaps.

Everyone grows silent and Effie covers her mouth as if Katniss had said something truly to offend her.

"Well, no one does!" She says again as she get up and leave the dining car.

"I am going to talk to her Effie, I am sorry." I apologize as I get up.

The door alarm sounds and I can see through the windows Katniss walking on the side of the train.

I get to the door, where an attendant is about to go after her.

"Not to worry, I will get her, don't leave without us." I smile.

I can see she is walking, but how far and for how long I don't know. I can only imagine what triggered the outburst, something is on her mind. It is probably what my father told me.

"Son, she needs someone that she can be free with. That is the one thing that needs that no one has been able to give her. Remember you are not a baker and she is not a hunter. It is who we are inside that matter. Let her be herself. Don't force her like the others." My father whispered in my ear right before we left.

"You hear me, you follow that to the letter." He says.

I look down to my hands and see the scares of the oven, when I finally reach her.

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture," she says out to the woods. She isn't facing me, but can tell someone was approaching her.

I take a deep breath and say

"I'll try to keep it brief,"

"I thought you were Haymitch," she says turning around.

"No, he's still working on that muffin," I say sitting down on a nearby rock. "Bad day huh?"

"It's nothing," she tells me.

I take a deep breath, and now what I must do.

"Look, Katniss, I've been wanting to talk to you about the way I acted on the train. I mean, the last train. The one that brought us home. I knew that you had something with Gale. I was jealous of him before I even officially met you. And it wasn't fair to hold you to anything that happened in the Games. I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," she says.

"There's nothing for you to be sorry about. You were just keeping us alive. But I don't want us to go on like this, ignoring each other in real life, and falling into the snow every time there's a camera around. So I thought if I stopped being so, you know, wounded, we could take a shot at just being friends," I tell her.

"Okay," she says.

I motion for her to sit down. She crosses her arms and sits down next to me looking out into the forest.

"So what's wrong?" I ask her.

She hesitates and picks at some weeds near the rock.

"Let's start with something more basic. Isn't it strange that I know you'd risk your life to save mine…but I don't know what your favorite color is?" I tell her.

She smiles a little bit. "Green. What's yours?"

"Orange," I tell her.

"Orange? Like Effie's hair?" she asks.

"A bit more muted," I explain. "More like…sunset."

We look out to the valley and see the sun. It is more than just a color, it is a story from my father on love and so that is my favorite color.

"You know, everyone's always raving about your paintings. I feel bad I haven't seen them," she says.

"Well, I've got a whole train car full." I say getting up and offering my hand. "Come on."

She grabs my hand and we walk back to the train hand in hand. It is nice to feel her hand in mine again. Not for show of course there are no cameras out here.

We walk towards the door of the train, when Katniss turns to me.

"I've got to apologize to Effie first."

"Don't be afraid to lay it on thick," I tell her.

We walk to the dining car where Katniss apologizes to Effie, who graciously accepts. It is after all bad manners to those who do not accept an apology when it is heartfelt.

We walk past our rooms and go to the next car which has the paintings.

"Just a reminder that they may not be as good as everyone says. It is my way of making sense of what I am thinking of." I tell her.

The door opens and she slowly looks around taking it all in. She approaches them with her mouth open in somewhat shock.

"What do you think?" I ask her.

"I hate them," she says not looking at me in the eyes. "All I do is go around trying to forget the arena and you've brought it, back to life. How do you do remember these things so exactly?"

"I see them every night," I tell her eyes looking at the results.

"Me, too. Does it help? To paint them?" she asks.

"I don't know. I think I'm a little less afraid of going to sleep at night, or I tell myself I am," I tell her. "But they haven't gone anywhere."

"Maybe they won't. Haymitch's haven't." she says.

"No. But for me, it's better to wake up with a paintbrush than a knife in my hand," I tell her. "So you really hate them?"

"Yes. But they're extraordinary. Really," she says. "Want to see my talent?" Cinna did a great job on it."

I laugh, and tell her, "later."

The train begins to move and I tell her.

"Come on, we're almost to District Eleven. Let's go take a look at it."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"You know you are not what people say you are," Delly tells me.

"Hmmm? What do people say I am?" I ask her.

"Well people say you are a little bit of a snob." She says.

I laugh. "Really a snob?"

I am a little put back by the comment. Is that what people really see.

"Well Peeta, you have to realize that most people see you, and your brothers. You guys are the best in the wrestling team. You have this nice guy presence about you. Your family owns a shop in the square out of all places, next to the Justice Building." She says. "You know people say that merchant kids are just snobs, but -"

"Well what do you think of me?" I ask her.

"After getting to know you, gotta say you aren't too bad to hang around with." She says.

"Well I will take it as a compliment," I say.

"You see, people have to get to know you first, to get know the real Peeta. Not so much what they say, but what they know." She says.

It is funny the things that you remember. This whole new thing that we have going now, probably if she got to know me, and not what people say about me. Who knows?

We walk along the paintings, and she still looks at them as if they are going to come alive. The door slides open and we are in the last car. We sit on the sofa and the back windows begin to slide into the ceiling so you can see everything and feel everything.

For a moment we see the open fields with dairy cattle grazing in them. Just as we are beginning to slow down, the tall fence rises up. It must be a lease thirty feet in the air with barbed wire. If I thought our District was a prison now with the view of District Eleven, our district feels like a vacation home with a white picket fence.

Then all of the sudden the watch towers shoot up into the air.

"That's something different," I tell her.

It is late in the afternoon and yet we still see people working the field. We see men, women and some children, working picking the fields, with no end in sight.

The homes, if we can call them that, are nothing more than tin walls and a roof. Our district is like the Capitol compared to here. They are all deserted, no one on the streets, they are all in fields. Countless and countless fields, just envelope our sights, I cannot even begin to imagine the amount of people in this District.

How could people live like this? Any strong wind can probably knock the houses down, or even a flood. Would they simply just rebuild their homes?

"How many people do you think live here?" I ask her.

She shakes her head.

We only have about eight thousand people in our district, but here our whole population can be in one field and that would only be a small percentage of the entire District Eleven.

I remember back in school they would say that District Eleven was the largest of the districts. We just stare out and cannot begin to understand the odds of how Rue would have been selected. It would be near impossible. Even with the most in our glass of 30 or more tickets, they still would be near impossible to be selected. You could go your entire life never even experiencing the worry of going into the Hunger Games, never really being close to being selected.

The towers of guards are spread evenly along the fields. They all have weapons and are ready to shoot should they have to. The charge in the arm is palpable. It screams danger, and we are going straight into it.

The door opens and we both jump.

"My, my, isn't the view wonderful from back here. We were looking for the two of you. Needed some private time? Hmm?" Effie says. "Well we are on a tight schedule and we need you both to go back to your rooms and get dressed."

We both don't object and walk without a sound to our rooms. Portia hands me a light colored dress shirt, it looks like a very light orange.

"It is to go with the same color scheme as Katniss outfit. That and we wanted to accentuate the feel of the District." Portia tells me, handing me the shirt and dark color pants. She helps me put on the shirt and then rolls up the sleeves. "It shows the crowd that you are part of the working crowd."

"Okay, it is lovely, Portia, really. I am just a little nervous about the speech." I tell her.

"Nervous about what?" she asks.

"Well we saw the towers and the tall fences; it feels like a prison, Portia." I tell her. "Never mind, it is just probably my nerves."

"You will do fine. Effie wants to go over it with you and Katniss." Portia says.

"Knock, knock. Is our spokes person ready?" Effie asks.

"Yes, he is ready for his close up." Portia says.

"Fantastic. I love the color." She says. "Okay, Peeta come with me."

"Spoke person?" I ask.

"Well, we feel Haymitch and myself and out of the both of you, that you would be the better choice to speak." She says.

We walk to the sitting room, and find that Katniss is already there is a very beautiful orange dress. I smile and say, "Love the color."

She just smiles. It is a natural smile, and I know that I did the right decision to be Katniss friend.

"Okay, let's go over today's program. It is always a good thing to be prepared." Effie tells us.

Most of the time, the Victory Tour, the tribute would go through the district in a vehicle, sort of like a parade. Although in District Eleven with the houses all spread out, it would take too much time to do that. A nice presentation has been substituted, where the Mayor would present both of us with a plaque.

Effie explains that there will still be a crowd to cheer us on, and that we would of course be on camera, so it is important to speak clearly and to project your voice. The mayor would read a speech on behalf of their district. If we had allies in the Games, we would have the opportunity to say a couple of words of thank you.

The train begins to slow ever further and I can think to myself that this is the moment. A dozen cameras will be trained on our every action. We finally arrive at the train station, and find no cameras, or even people from the District. All we find is eight Peacekeepers ready to take us. It feels like we are criminals coming into our prison. The peacekeepers move us to the back of an armored truck.

Definitely the treatment is like we are criminals. Katniss hand tightens around mine, and I calm her by caressing her palm with my thumb. The door closes and the latch clanks. Katniss jumps at the sound.

"Really, you'd think we were all criminals," Effie says.

The truck moves quickly to the Justice Building rear entrance. The door opens and more Peacekeepers take us inside the building. The Justice building is very poorly maintained. There are vines that have grown around the columns of the building and through the walls. We can smell the dinner that they are preparing for us. In District Eleven there will be a dinner with the Mayor after the presentation. They move through the building like it is on fire, and all I can hear is the quick clacking of the heel on the marble floor.

We hear the anthem being played behind the doors. Someone comes from the sides and as we are approaching the doors, they clip on a microphone. I look back quickly see Katniss's hand being extended for mine. I grab it and it steadies my nervousness as I hear Effie.

"Big Smiles!"

The door opens and the applause begins. We are still walking and begin to wave to the people, smiling. We finally reach the stage where we take our seats. A special platform is placed in front of us. The families of the tributes both Thresh and Rue sit before us. The hand tightens and I know that Katniss still has not gotten over the death of them.

The mayor begins his speech and within no time, I can feel that my time to speak is coming.

"Thank you and now the Victor's from District Twelve would like to say something." He says.

I gently let go of Katniss hand and walk over to the podium.

"Thank you all for receiving us with open arms to your wonderful District. Although today is a day of celebration it is also a day of remembrance for both Thresh and Rue. Without their help and without your sacrifice Katniss would not have survived, and in turn I wouldn't have either. We are both deeply in debt to your families. It is something that in our District we do not take for granted." I say.

I look back to Katniss and can still hear the words she told me in the arena. She said that I would never understand because I was not from the Seam, but it is something that we Mellarks know all too well.

"A wonderful person once told me, that it is the first gift that's always the hardest to pay back." I say. "This can no way repay your family for what you have done for me or for Katniss. It can in no way replace your losses, but as a token of our thanks we'd like for each of the tributes' families from District Eleven to receive one month of our winnings every year for the duration of our lives. Thank you."

Silence. All you can hear is dead silence from the crowd.

I look back to Katniss and smile. Katniss stands and on her tiptoes kisses me. Her lips are sweet and gentle to the touch. It feels so natural like she wanted to kiss me at this point. Though it was more than likely because of the cameras, and at the moment I don't mind.

The Mayor stands and gives us a plaque that is so large that Katniss has to put down her flowers. There are some of the Capitol reporters taking pictures and then as the ceremony begins to end, I hear Katniss say something.

"Wait," she says. "Wait please,"

She comes to the podium.

"I want to give my thanks to the tributes of District Eleven," she begins to say as she looks to Thresh's family, "I only ever spoke to Thresh one time. Just long enough for him to spare my life. I didn't know him, but I always respected him. For his power. For his refusal to play the Games on anyone's term but his own. The Careers wanted him to team up with them from the beginning, but he wouldn't do it. I respected him for that."

Everyone goes silent. She looks to Rue's family.

"But I feel as if I did know Rue, and she'll always be with me. Everything beautiful brings her to mind. I see her in the yellow flowers that grow in the Meadow by my house. I see her in the mockingjays that sing in the trees. But most of all, I see her in my sister, Prim."

She composes herself.

"Thank you for your children, and thank you for the bread," she finishes.

From the crowd we all hear someone whistle Rue's four tone song. It is only a couple of seconds after that something happens that no one could expect and was totally unplanned. The same way that happened in District Twelve during the reaping happened here. Everyone in the crowd presses the three middle fingers of their left hand against their lips and extends them to her.

It is our sign of respect, a sign of gratitude, the symbol to the one who sacrifice themselves for others.

There is feedback coming from the speakers and I can see that Katniss's microphone has been cut off. The Mayor again thanks us and the crowd begins to cheer. I feel the tensing of the air, and grab Katniss's hand and guide her inside the Justice Building. Something does not feel right. It is almost like something is going to happen and not in a good way. My main concern is to get her inside the doors of the Justice building. I pick up the pace a little bit and as we are almost to the doors, Katniss stops.

"Are you all right?" I ask her.

"Just dizzy. The sun was so bright," she says. "I forgot my flowers."

"I'll get them," I say.

"I can," she replies.

We turn back to the stage to get the flowers and that is where we see it. We couldn't believe our eyes.

A couple of peacekeepers were dragging an old man to the tops of the steps. They force him to his knees, and before I can grab Katniss to turn, one pulls out his gun and shoots him in the head.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

It takes only a couple of seconds for the Peacekeepers to react. The crowd is quickly surrounded and a wall of Peacekeepers moves us back with their guns.

"We're going!" I shout at them, shoving the Peacekeeper away from Katniss. "We get it, all right? Come one Katniss."

We are being moved back to the Justice Building. I hold Katniss with my arms around her shoulders protecting her. You can tell she is still in shock for what we had just witnessed.

Once inside you hear the doors closed and they move back to disperse the crowd.

"What happened?" Effie asks us. "We lost the feed just after Katniss's beautiful speech, and then Haymitch said he thought he heard a gun fire, and I said it was ridiculous, but who knows? There are lunatics everywhere!"

"Nothing happened, Effie. An old truck backfired," I tell her.

Just then two more shots are heard and Haymitch tells us almost like he is in automatic mode.

"Both of you. With me." He says.

We walk up a stairs through a long hallway. At the end of the hall are two double doors. We go through the doors and in the room he motions us to drop off the microphones underneath the couch cushions. We go through a door in the opposite wall and through a spiral stair case. This leads us to another hallway which we go to a single door at the left. Once in this room, he starts to stomp on the floor.

"What are you doing?" Katniss asks.

"It is here, I know it is." He responds.

Finally a trap door is discovered and he opens it, which has a ladder. We climb the ladder and find ourselves in the dome of the Justice Building. Haymitch closes the trap door.

"What happened?" he asks us.

"They shot him." Katniss tells him.

"Who did they shoot?" Haymitch asks.

"An old man who spoke up after Katniss's speech. He whistles Rue's old song." I tell him. "The whole crowd gave our salute to Katniss."

"This is bad," Haymitch says.

"What's going on Haymitch," I ask him.

"It will be better coming from you," he says to Katniss.

I knew something was going on, when Katniss wouldn't tell me when the train was being fixed.

"Peeta," She says. "I wanted to tell you so many times before."

"Tell me what?" I ask.

"Well before we left to the train, President Snow had come to my house. He tells me that because of the berries, there is unrest in the District. He said that we don't quench the unrest that he would kill our families." Tears come streaming from her face. "He threatened to kill Gale, because he kissed me once in the woods. He has spies everywhere, I couldn't tell you because I didn't know who would be listening."

I turn from her. How could they continue to do this to me? Keeping me in the dark, not really respecting me enough to tell me anything, treating me like a child.

"I was supposed to fix things on this tour. Make everyone who had doubted believe I acted out of love. Calm things down. But obviously, all I've done today is, get three people killed, and now everyone in the square will be punished." She tells me.

"Then I made things, worse, too. By giving the money." I tell them. I pick up a lamp and throw it against the floor. "This has to stop. Right now. This – this – game you two play, where you tell each other secrets but keep them from me like I'm too inconsequential or stupid or weak to handle them."

"It's not like that, Peeta -" She starts to tell me.

"It's exactly like that!" I yell. "I have people I care about, too, Katniss! Family and friends back in District Twelve who will be just as dead as yours if we don't pull this thing off. So, after all we went through in the arena, don't I even rate the truth from you?"

"You're always so reliably good, Peeta," Haymitch tells me. "So smart about how you present yourself before the cameras. I didn't want to disrupt that."

"Well you overestimated me. Because I really screwed up today. What do you think is going to happen to Rue's and Thresh's families? Do you think they'll get their share of our winnings? Do you think I gave them a bright future? Because I think they'll be lucky if they survive the day!" I grab a vase and toss it.

"He's right Haymitch," she says. "We were wrong not to tell him. Even back in the Capitol."

It is time to get everything out in the open.

"Even in the arena, you two had some sort of system worked out, didn't you?" I ask. "Something I wasn't a part of."

"No, not officially. I just could tell what Haymitch wanted me to do by what he sent, or didn't send," she tells me, trying to calm me down.

"Well, I never had that opportunity. Because he never sent me anything until you showed up," I tell her.

"Look, boy -" Haymitch interrupts.

"Don't bother, Haymitch. I know you had to choose one of us. And I'd have wanted it to be her. But this is something different. People are dead out there. More will follow unless we're very good. We all know I'm better than Katniss in front of the cameras. No one needs to coach me on what to say. But I have to know what I'm walking into," I tell them.

"From now on, you'll be fully informed." Haymitch tells me.

"I better be," I tell them. Both of them with their secrets, it makes me sick.

I go down the stairs and finally find Effie.

"Peeta, where is Katniss, we need to get you prepared for the dinner." She tells me.

"They are somewhere. Is this my room right here?" I ask pointing at the door. I open the door before she can respond and close it behind me. I don't want to talk to anyone. I don't want to be nice and be on camera, and have good manners. I want to be left alone. Alone, like I feel right now, like I was in the arena, like I have always felt, all my life.

I sit on the ground close my eyes and for the first time in my life, I am feeling totally alone in this world. If we cannot get it right. If we cannot convince everyone, my family will be punished for something they do not deserve.

Sometimes it is like I am in the center of a crowd, and feel like I am the only one there. Today was just proof of that. In the arena I was by myself, even when Katniss was there, it was only because of survival, and now to find out that there is much more to this Tour that we have to pull off. Not being told is being left in the dark.

I hear a knock on the door.

"Please, I would like to be left alone." I say.

The door opens. "You and me we have to clear up some things boy," Haymitch says.

"Look, I don't need a lecture," I tell him.

"Good, cause I am not here to give you one." He says. "Sit, now!"

I sit down.

"Now listen here," he tells me. "You have to forget what happened in the arena. It was not her fault she was following my instructions, just like you were following them."

I make the effort to speak.

"No, for once you will hear what I have to say," he says.

"Katniss although she is a tough, she is still a girl. You have no right to talk to her that way, or to treat her that way. If you were brought up like I know your father would have, you would apologize to her the moment you see her." He tells me slamming the door behind him.

I could get angry. I could run after him and tell him what they did.

I get up and go to the door, and that is when I see it. I see my reflection on a mirror; I catch it off the corner of my eyes.

Who are you? What have you become? He is right. She is still just a girl, trying to do what is right, and I blamed her for everything, even things that she wasn't even a part of.

After taking a shower, I find that Portia had left me my outfit on the couch.

I stare at it. How can I do it? Even when I try, I mess up. I take a deep tired breath. Probably the dinner would be a good place to start again, I wonder.

I walk downstairs and find that Effie is working on our grand entrance.

"Lovely Peeta, come to the rear." The music begins to play and found that Katniss is looking towards the left when I come on her right. I grab her hand and she looks to me. Our eyes meet and I tell her.

"Haymitch says I was wrong to yell at you. You were only operating under his instructions." I tell her. "And it isn't as if I haven't kept things from you in the past."

"I think I broke a few things myself after that interview." She says.

"Just an urn," I say.

"And your hands. There's no point to it anymore, though is there? Not being straight with each other?" She says.

"No point," I tell her. "Was that really the only time you kissed Gale?"

She looks at me a little puzzled. "Yes." She says. I look at her and know that she is telling me the truth. I look at the procession.

"That's fifteen. Let's do it," I tell her.

The whole night is filled with laughter, Katniss never leaving my side. We spend the night just talking and getting to know each other.

"You have told me your happiest memory, but what I want to know now, is what makes you smile." I ask her.

"Honestly?" She says.

"Yes, let's forget the cameras for a second ok?" I tell her.

"Well, to be honest, Prim can always make me smile." She says with sincerity.

Each District we decided that we would learn something new about each other. It was a something that we started in District Eleven.

Nothing was about love, but it was about us. Things that made us laugh, and things that we would dream about, it was memories that you want to keep.

Sometimes though it wasn't all great memories, sometimes it was just like the thunderstorms that would bring back the nightmares.

The whole day it rain, in District Seven. There was no ceremony because no one would come out in the rain. We tour the district in a car looking from the outside. The guide is telling us about the district when we see lights coming from the cars of Peacekeepers. The car slows down enough for us to see a boy being beaten by a group of Peacekeepers in the rain.

"Why are they doing that to the boy?" Katniss asks.

"He was caught stealing food." The guide says. "Stealing here in this District has a zero tolerance policy. There is no age restrictions for the punishment, breaking the law is breaking the law."

Katniss buries her face in my shirt; it must have brought up memories of the past. We never did know what happened to the boy, he must have been eleven or younger. He was probably trying to find food to eat because he was starving.

That night on the train, the silence and the rain kept me up. Wandering around the hallways of the train, trying hard to stay awake, so that dreams wouldn't turn into nightmares, but it is no use, you can't stay awake forever.

I was walking what must have been my twentieth time up and down the train, when I hear a scream. I run to it, and find that it is Katniss. She is screaming something that I cannot understand. Something about being burned, it is something that I cannot even begin to imagine. What haunts her dreams, what causes her to thrash around like this?

I grab her and whisper, "it is ok, Katniss, it is ok. You are having a nightmare. Ssssh. It is ok, you are safe."

She opens her eyes and begins to cry. "Peeta, it was so real. President Snow had set you on fire for defying the Capitol and made me stand there and watch. I tried to save you but couldn't," she says.

"It is ok, I am ok. You see, it was all a dream. Remember we protect each other, nothing is going to happen, because we are here for each other." I tell her. "Now go to sleep."

"Will you stay here, until I fall asleep?" she asks me.

"Anything you need me to, I will be here until you fall asleep." I tell her, moving a couple of strands of hair from her face.

"Okay," she says and closes her eyes.

From that night on, she would ask me if I could be there with her until she fell asleep. I was there every night. The nightmares started to be less and less and we were beginning to sleep a little bit better when Effie brings it up to us about appearance and that ladies and gentleman do not engage in this sort of behavior. We didn't care though; it was the only thing keeping our sanity. So if we had to choose between that and manners, I think our sanity is our choice.

"Just think Katniss, tomorrow we will be in the Capitol, and then after that, District Twelve, home." I tell her.

"It is almost over," she says. It isn't a statement of joy though; it is almost like of sorrow.

"What's wrong? I think we have been doing a good job in front of the cameras." I tell her.

"It isn't that Peeta," she says.

"It is okay, Katniss. Whatever it is, we will get through it." I tell her.

She turns her back to me on her bed. I hold her like I have been doing every night. This time it feels different, I can't put my finger on it, until I hear it.

"Thank you," she says.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The Capitol seemed to be our safe haven to our current situation. Here there is no danger of an uprising here. In the Capitol everyone is more interested in the fantasy of the love story than the lack that the other District faces.

When we arrive in the train station it was only a couple of months ago, and we really didn't know what to expect. The crowds that welcome us, wanting to see who we were are the same crowds that now welcome us, wanting to see us. They all want to know the storyline that the Hunger Games created, love found in the most unusual place. Katniss seems more nervous now than usual. I spend most of the time trying to calm her. Reminding her that it is almost over, that we did the best we could.

We come to the elevator of the Training Center hand in hand, and it seems that the mood is more of anxious than of celebration. She doesn't let go of my hand, even after the cameras are no longer there. Haymitch tells us to come to the sitting room.

It will be okay I whisper in her ear. She smiles, looks at me, and kisses me in my cheek.

"Sit down, we have to talk about our game plan," Haymitch says. "The mood is still in our favor. I don't know if you have noticed but the district although it is not showing there is unrest."

"I don't know what else to do," Katniss says.

"Are you sure, I have noticed that in some of the districts have been more clueless of what is happening." I tell them.

"While that is true, it is about those that are not, that the Capitol would have to be most concern with." Haymitch says.

"The interview," I say. "It is our last opportunity to change people's mind."

"That is the idea. The good thing about the interview is that it is going to be broadcasted to Panem and if done right we might be able to pull it off." Haymitch says.

"What about marriage?" Katniss says.

"Marriage?" I look at her.

"Yes, what about if you propose to me live on television? That would remove the focus on the unrest and place it back on that we are madly in love. What do you think?" she says looking at me.

Not this way. It is just another game to manipulate the situation. All I ever wanted was this, but for once, I want it be real. In the arena I loved her, and she was trying to survive. After the Games, I wanted to be with her, and she was trying to keep it together. Now after the Tour, I still love her, and all she is trying to do is save her family.

This is the moment that she wants to know who will be with her. Everyone has left her, and she has to bear this burden alone. Haymitch hasn't really given her a solution. Cinna and Portia have no idea what is going on. I don't know if she told Gale or not.

His voice echoes through my mind, "she needs someone that she can be free with." Everyone has told Katniss what to do and how to live, this is her idea and although it is only to survive. I can't force her like the others

"Okay Katniss, we will do it." I say.

I get up and walk off to my room. A loveless marriage that is what I am facing. My father never got to marry the girl her wanted, and I have. I have her but not her heart. What is marriage without love? It is the Capitol, their ideals of beauty, and never fully understanding it.

I sit down and can I go through with this? She is giving up everything for her family, so that they would be safe. We don't even know if it would work. It has to, Katniss has given up so much, her past with her family dying, and her childhood taking up the role of the provider, and her future was becoming my wife.

After a couple of hours, I go upstairs to the garden, and just sit there the whole night. The stars understand us, being so close and far away at the same time. I don't know if that is a good thing or a bad thing, feeling so alone. Would she feel that way when she is with me? I can see that the sun is rising and although the rays come over the mountain, I think to myself that I wish this day didn't come.

I have breakfast in my room, not wanting to see anyone. The day goes by and I hardly want to talk to anyone. Effie comes to get me for lunch and I just tell her that I am not hungry. Haymitch comes and I tell them that I want to be left alone. Even Portia comes and I ask for a little time for my thoughts. The time has almost ended and the interview is only a couple of hours away. After a while, I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Peeta, can I come in?" Katniss says.

"Sure Katniss," I reply.

Before she says anything, before she tries to explain it all, I want to make sure she understands what she is giving up.

"You understand what you are asking?" I ask her.

"It is the only way, Peeta. I can't think of another." She says.

I hold out my hand and she meets it.

"Come; let me tell you why I ask." I tell her.

She walks with me to the window.

"My father told me of a story of a woman he always wanted to marry. He did not have that chance to experience happiness. So he had to settle to marry a woman that made sense." I tell her. "I love my mother, and she has been a woman that I have learned much from."

She looks down at her hands, unsure of what to say.

"I on the other hand," I begin to say. How do I tell her this? She means everything to me, I have loved her since I met her, but she does not feel the same.

"Yes?" Katniss looks at me.

"I have the ability to marry the woman I have always wanted to. I just wish it was for other reasons." I tell her. "It is not for you to response to, I just want you to understand what you are asking."

The silence is palpable if only for a moment.

"Peeta,- "she starts.

"It is okay Katniss; you don't have to say anything." I tell her. "Come; let's get ready for the interview."

We take our places in the elevator, and I stand there trying to get my thoughts ready. Katniss holds my hand with both her hands. She is such an amazing woman, I don't deserve her. Such inner strength and such sacrifice, she would give up her dreams if she thought that it would save us.

The show starts and all I can wait for is the ability to do it naturally.

"So Peeta, you have seen all of Panem, what do you think?" He asks.

"It is amazing to see the different people and how wonderful it is that we are all part of something that unites us." I tell him.

"Well said. And you Katniss, how did you like the Tour," he asks her.

"Well I have to say; that I have never missed home so much as I do now. I love the hospitality that we have been shown by everyone." She tells him.

"Adjusting well with Katniss next to your side hmm?" Caesar asks.

"She steadies me, I don't mind her hand in my mine, if not I would fall," I say. "She also steadies me in other ways."

The crowd responds with an aww, and Katniss blushes.

"So Peeta, what does the future hold for the star crossed lovers from District Twelve?" He asks.

"That is the thing Caesar," I start to say. "I can't go one more minute without thinking about the past."

"How so?" Caesar asks.

"Ever since I saw her at the age of five, I knew I would love her forever." I tell him. I turn and look at her in her eyes. "If I could live a thousand years, I would love you for a thousand years. You mean everything to me, and I would be honored if you would be my wife."

The crowd starts to cheer loudly that I have to get up and motion that they quiet down. After about ten minutes of trying to get the crowd to quiet down.

"I haven't heard her response everyone," I tell them.

They start to laugh.

"So," I say again to Katniss.

"Yes, Peeta, of course yes." She tells me with a smile.

We hold each other, as I kiss her. There is fear that the crowd is going explode of the cheering. It doesn't matter; all I care about is in my arms right now. All I have ever cared about is looking at me and smiling. If I could love you truthfully, I would always love you. If you could only see inside my heart, you would never spend a day without knowing that you are loved. We will forever remember this moment as the day that she gave up everything for her family.

Someone pats me on my back and when I turn I have to compose myself, every bit of my being wants to strike but I smile and shake the hand of President Snow. He congratulates me and embraces Katniss. She looks straight into Katniss's eyes and shakes his head no.

President Snow silences the crowd and says,

"What do you think about us throwing them a wedding right here in the Capitol?

The crowd cheers in agreement.

"Have you set a date?" Caesar asks.

"Oh, before we set a date, we better clear it with Katniss's mother," says President Snow. "Maybe if the whole country puts its mind to it, we can get you married before you're thirty."

"You'll probably have to pass a new law," she says giggling.

"If that's what it takes," says President Snow jokingly.

We are moved to the President's Mansion and the food is beyond our dreams. Every delicacies that our imagination can come up with and then even more from what the Capitol can come up with.

"I want to taste everything in the room," says Katniss.

Something is wrong. Her attitude has changed and no cameras or anyone around us. Could it be that somehow someone is listening into our conversation? Going to play along until I can get her alone, and then probably we can get something more.

"Then you'd better pace yourself." I say.

"Okay, no more than one bite of each dish." She says. "I could just eat this all night!"

We eat many different dishes. Katniss would start it and I would finish it. Many different people would approach us and want to take pictures with us. It was like the celebration after we won the Games with the Sponsors but this time it is like the entire population of the Capitol is here. We would get introductions and five seconds after they left we would immediately forget who they were.

Octavia, one of Katniss prep team asks her why she isn't eating. We are both stuffed to the brim and cannot even look at another piece of this or soup of that without getting sick.

"No one lets that stop them!" another one of Katniss prep team says. They wave us over to a table with tiny wineglasses filled with clear liquid.

They hand us the glasses and say "drink this."

I go to drink it, and Octavia, stops me.

"Not here! You have to do it in there. Or you'll get it over the floor!" She says pointing at the restroom.

"You mean this will make you puke?" I ask.

"Of course, so you can keep eating. I have been in there twice already. Everybody does it, or else how would you have fun at a feast?" she says so carefree.

I slowly place the glass back on the table, disgusted by the thought of it all.

"Come on, Katniss, let's dance." I say.

The music begins to play just as we make it to the dance floor, almost like they were waiting for us. I lead Katniss to the center of the dance floor and place my hand on her waist as instructed by Effie. I smile as I know that they are a dozen cameras on us. The thought of the carelessness of food here makes my blood boil. The image of the boy being beaten in District Seven, because of food, makes no sense to me. Here we are starving almost in every district and here people just waste food.

I can still remember that year when we had to go hungry because of a shortage. This whole feast somewhere, there is a shortage.

"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking they're not so bad, and then you -" I start, and remember that I am neither whispering nor making the attempt not to be seen by the cameras.

She looks at me and I can't help but try to not meet her eyes. I am upset at them all. Every last one of them, even our stylists who place us on this beauty platform, I just want to forget and go back to where it is me and her.

"Peeta, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment," she says. "Really, this is nothing by comparison."

"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it anymore. To the point where…I'm not sure what I'll do." I stop, and wonder if this is the right place to say this. I lean in and whisper. "Maybe we were wrong, Katniss."

"About what?" She asks.

"About trying to subdue things in the districts," I say.

She looks around worried that someone has heard me. After she makes sure that no one heard.

"Sorry," I tell her, realizing this is neither the time nor the place to be saying these things.

"Save it for home," she says.

Portia comes and ask if she cut in as a gentleman would like to dance with Katniss.

I look at the gentleman. I can't place it but he seems familiar. With the cameras placed on me, I of course say.

"But of course, but do not get too attached, she is spoken for."

Katniss smiles and walks away with the gentleman.

Portia asks me to dance, and of course I accept. We dance for a bit, and talk about how wonderful the food is and the ambiance of the President's mansion.

"Yes we hardly have the luxury back home of this magnitude." I tell her.

"Come, Peeta, I want to show you something." Portia says.

We walk to what I think is the desert table and there all these elaborate cakes designs are placed. I start to admire the frosting of a pink cake. The time I imagine that it took to get it just right must have been quite labor intensive.

Just then a door opens and out comes a group of bakers.

"Mr. Mellark, can we have a moment of your time?" One baker asks me.

"Of course, but first how were you able to get this design here?" I ask without lifting my eyes.

"That design was done by Antonio," he says.

I lift my eyes up and find about eight or so bakers just standing there.

"I am so sorry guys, yes you can have a moment of my time." I say with a smile.

"Well the design you are curious about was done in layering. We had to set and wait for it hardens before we could proceed." Antonio said.

"May I ask your methods?" I ask Antonio.

"Well the trick is to mix the powder sugar into the frosting at a low speed that would allow the powder sugar to mix and combine. Then when you have the right consistency, you chill it. This is the secret, you chill it in a wine cooler, and its temperature is perfect for what we need, although the kitchen doesn't really enjoy finding bags of frosting in their coolers." Antonio says with a smile.

"I wonder where I could get a wine cooler." I say out loud.

"How about this one?" I ask pointing a crème. "It is outer layer is lightly toasted and yet the interior is moist and soft."

"That one, we used a special warming pan. It bakes the crust and leaves the coolness in the center. The convection oven helps it speed up the process." Another baker says.

"May I ask a favor?" I say.

"Anything Mr. Mellark." One of the bakers says.

"May I have an assortment of these little cakes to sample back in my District?" I ask.

"But of course, we would love to get to know your recipes on flavored bread." Another one responds.

I feel the warm hand of someone that I know grab my hand. I turn and smile, and find that Katniss is smiling at the way I am just excited about the cakes. This was more interesting, speaking to people that understands the art of a baker.

"Effie said we have to be on the train at one. I wonder what time it is," I say looking for a clock.

"Almost midnight," Katniss replies. She comes to a well designed two tier chocolate cake with chocolate mousse flowers. She swiftly grabs a flower in her finger without messing the flower. Talk about skills of a steady hand.

"Time to say thank you and farewell!" Effie tells us. We walk alongside her, thanking people as we walked. Portia and Cinna come alongside us and we say our farewells to everyone who was "important" in the crowd. As we approach the door, I think about the one who hosted the event.

"Shouldn't we thank President Snow?" I ask. "It's his house."

"Oh, he's not big one for parties. Too busy," Effie replies. "I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow. There you are!" Effie waves down to Capitol attendants who have a drunken Haymitch by the arms.

Our cars arrive and we are taken through the streets of the Capitol. We are back in the Train station at exactly one o'clock.

The two Capitol attendants drop off Haymitch in his room and the door closes to the train. The whistle sounds and the train begins to move. The anxiousness begins to fade as the Capitol fades in the background.

Cinna orders tea and we all sit around the table discussing the feast and how wonderful it was. Effie being the standard of efficiency makes sure to remind us that we are still on Tour and that "there's the harvest festival in District Twelve to think about. So I suggest we drink our tea and head straight to bed."

We all drink our teas and get up and go to our rooms. I don't think anyone has the energy to do anything else but sleep. I walk into my room and find that the silence is a little bit too much. I change and walk over to Katniss's room.

She is just there lying on the bed already falling asleep. She is on the right side of the bed on her side when I climb into the bed. As if by cue, Katniss senses that I am there and turns and churls up to me, eyes still closed. She sighs as if she was waiting for me to finally fall asleep. I close my eyes and drift peacefully off to sleep.

I wake up to find out that it is already in the afternoon. The anticipation and the pressure really had us on edge. With the Tour almost over, I am guessing the pressure is gone and our bodies finally won in the war of sleep. I see her still sleeping and can't help but to just lie there and look at her peacefully sleep. The whole night she didn't get up, there were no nightmares last night; she slept through the whole night.

I see she is waking up when she turns and see my eyes just looking at hers.

"No nightmares," I say.

"What?" she asks.

"You didn't have any nightmares last night," I say.

She smiles. "I had a dream, though. I was following a Mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice."

"Where did she take you?" I ask, moving her hair out of her forehead.

"I don't know. We never arrived," She says. "But I felt happy."

"Well, you slept like you were happy," I say.

"Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?" she asks.

"I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror," I say.

"You should wake me," she says.

"It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you," I say truthfully. "I'm okay once I realize you're here."

"Be worse when we're home and I'm sleeping alone again," I say.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight

District Twelve never looked so good. All the different districts and the different restrictions now being in the train station is always a welcomed sight. The crowds are the same and the cameras are the same.

Our agenda at District 12 includes dinner with the Mayor and a celebration in the square during the Harvest Festival. The Harvest Festival is always celebrated at the end of the Victory Tour. Most of the years it means a good meal at home, fresh bread and meat, this time around though, the Capitol is throwing the party so that means that everyone in the district will be eating.

It is still cold in our District so we are wearing warm coats again. We arrive at the mayor's house to get our prep teams enough time for the dinner. We get to mayor's house and found that we would get to see our families until the dinner tonight.

I wonder what my family would say about the engagement. Would they be happy for me? I spend the time thinking about how I would explain it to my father if I never brought it up.

They take us to our individual rooms to change. I spend a little bit of time trying to come up with the words to say to my family. I walk outside and knock at Katniss's door. No answer. A Capitol attendant comes by and tells me that Katniss was last seen by the Mayor's study located on the next floor. I walk up the stairs and find that I see her walking back from the mayor's study. Her eyes have a sign of worry, not really focusing on anything.

"Katniss, everything's okay?" I say.

She is locked in on something, because it is like she didn't hear me. I grab her hand and it snaps her out of what she was thinking.

"Oh, Peeta, I didn't see you," she says startled.

"You were a million miles away. Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes, just thinking," she says.

"Well I am here if you want to talk," I say.

From the tone of her voice, I know that she is upset about something, how now it is not the time to ask on what. With Katniss you have to wait until she is ready to talk, you cannot force it.

"Okay," she says.

"Well dinner is ready, shall we?" I say sticking out my hand. She grabs it and we walk downstairs to the dining room.

The dinner goes off without any issues. With the smaller number of people in the dinner we quickly get done before I finally get to see my family. They meet Katniss's family and you can tell that my mother is making the effort to be cordial.

Both of our families leave us to talk.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yes, Peeta, just have a lot on my mind, I don't know the next step, with the Capitol." She says.

"Well whatever the decision, you know I will be behind it. I am here for you." I say.

She smiles.

"Well I will see you tomorrow?" I ask.

"Yes, Peeta, I will see you tomorrow at the Harvest Festival."

Walking back from the Mayor's house we stop at the bakery.

"Well son, here is where we go in." My father says.

"Huh? What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well, with the new engagement, we honestly cannot live in your house." He says.

"Oh," I say, not really taking this into account.

"Don't worry about us son, you will soon have a family that you would have to worry about." He tells me. "Remind me that we have to talk about that."

"Yes, sir." I say.

My mother starts to say something but my father interrupts.

"It is the boy decision, now accept it." He says with a smile.

"Okay, well goodnight." I say.

They walk inside the bakery, and turn off the front porch light when they are all upstairs. The stars are out and the lonely walk from the bakery to the Victor's village. The lights are still on at Katniss's house, however I doubt that I can just simply go and talk to her. I kick a pebble that is along the road. Haymitch's house light is off so he is either passed out or still drinking in the dark.

I open the door to my house and find that it is much larger than I remember it. Without my parents and my brothers, everything just looks empty. On the kitchen table is a box with a note.

"Son, this came for you, we didn't want to leave outside."

I open and find metal wind chimes.

"Saw this in a shop and thought you would like this. It is something to keep your mind off the things that the silence brings. Portia"

I grab a hammer and a nail from the closet and walk upstairs to my room. Open the window and hang the wind chimes. Although I never told her about the wind chimes in the garden, this is a welcomed distraction. The notes that it plays allow me to sleep if only for a couple of hours, before I wake up in a sweat filled panic.

I get up and walk to the bathroom, splash on some cold water to help calm me down. The days become all jumbled. The nightmares have somewhat calm down and I am able to sleep in small naps here and there.

Today I think I will go to the meadow. It is a Sunday so therefore not a lot of people would be out, not with the cold. Last Sunday was the Harvest Festival, the last scheduled event of the Victory Tour, and it is good to have all of the Capitol people out the District.

Walking along the dirt road, the days of winter has started to get heavier and heavier. Three days out of the week I would pass the time helping people shovel snow off their homes walkways. It is good to do something for others.

This time around while walking by the meadow I saw a little girl walking and started to sketch her. The two little golden braids with a violet jacket and I know exactly who it is. I wonder how Katniss is doing, hopefully she has been sleeping.

"Hello, Miss, can you assist me as I am trying to find this place called the meadow." I tell her walking alongside.

She giggles and says, "Well hello, sir, yes it is up the road to the right."

"Well thank you, much appreciated." I say.

"Are you going to paint?" She asks.

"Going to try who knows what you will find until you go looking for it," I say. "And you Miss Prim, you out for a walk?"

"I am going to our old house, my mother asked me to get something from the kitchen," she says. "You know…you should pass by to the new house someday," she says.

"Thank you for the invitation, I might just have to take you up on it." I say. "Say hi to your sister for me."

She nods and goes up to her old house.

I spend the day just sketching an old tree that is near the meadow. It is missing its leaves because of the winter. It has been there for years and yet it never grew tall. Through all the storms that we had, all the surrounding trees had either fell over or pulled out of it roots, but this old tree was never taken and hasn't died. My father told me that it was there when he was a kid and it is the same tree never growing in trunk size of anything. Its secret is its roots. The deeper it goes the stronger it is.

"It isn't what people see, it is what holds you to the ground, it is what keeps you grounded." He told me.

I think I will sketch the old tree and give it to my father to hang in the old house.

After a couple of hours, I decide to head over to the bakery. I showed it to him and he loved it.

"I am going to put it in the bakery," he says.

"Really?" I say.

"Do you remember the roots son?" He asks.

"Yes, Papa, it grows deep below the ground where people cannot see it. It is what makes the tree strong." I say.

"Son, you are the tree." He says. "Your strength is below, deep below the ground."

"Thanks, Papa." I say.

"Come for dinner tonight?" He asks.

"Of course." I say and walk out.

I don't know how he does it but he always knows exactly the right thing to say. I guess he knows that I am trying to find my way and he is there to guide me.

I get to Victor's village in a couple of minutes, and get to house to quickly change and clean my hands that are filled with charcoal. I am leaving my house when I see Katniss approaching the Victor's village.

You can tell she had been in the woods, by the fact that she had her father's hunting jacket on and her boots.

"Been hunting?" I ask.

"Not really. Going to town?" She says.

"Yes. I'm supposed to eat dinner with my family," I say.

"Well, I can at least walk you in," she says.

You can tell that Katniss wants to tell me something. As we walk she starts and stops to try and tell me something. Finally it comes out.

"Peeta, if I asked you to run away from the district with me, would you?"

I grab her arm. "Depends on why you are asking?"

"President Snow wasn't convinced by me. There's an uprising in District Eight. We have to get out," she says.

"By 'we' do you mean just and you? No. Who else would be going?" I ask.

"My family. Yours, if they want to come. Haymitch, maybe," she says.

"What about Gale?" I say.

"I don't know. He might have other plans," she says.

She won't leave if he isn't going. Although she doesn't say it, and although I don't want to believe it, she has feelings for him. If we leave him behind, he would be in danger and Katniss is not the kind of person that would leave anyone she cares about in danger.

"I bet he does. Sure, Katniss, I'll go."

"You will?" she says hopeful.

"Yeah. But I don't think for a minute you will," I say.

She jerks away her arm. "Then you don't know me. Be ready. It could be any time." She takes off walking.

"Katniss," I call out to her to slow down. "Katniss, hold up."

She finally slows down enough for me to catch up.

"I really will go, if you want me to. I just think we talk it through with Haymitch. Make sure we won't be making things worse for everyone." I say.

Just then I notice a crowd near the bakery. "What's that?"

We start to walk towards the crowd. "Come on." I say. When we finally make it to the crowd, it is hard to see. I look around and see a crate on the wall. I get up and place my hand out to help Katniss up, when I hear it.

The whip lands on his back. I immediately recognize it is Gale. The peacekeepers are whipping him.

"Get down. Get out of here!" I whisper.

"What?" she says.

"Go home, Katniss! I'll be there in a minute, I swear!" I say.

She pushes away my hand and begins to move through the crowd.

People are holding her back, telling her to get out of there. She is almost there when she finally breaks through. She cups her mouth at the sight. That is when the whip begins to go up again, that I hear her yell out.

"NO!"


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

The sound of the whip falling is enough to run chills down my back. I am pushing people aside and make it just to see Katniss had taken the blow.

She is on her knees one had on her face and the other is holding her up.

"Stop it! You'll kill him!" she yells.

The whip goes up and I run out to stop it. Just then I hear say.

"Hold it!" and then the crowd parts and Haymitch appear. He goes to Katniss and examines the damage to Katniss's face.

"Oh, excellent. She's got a photo shoot next week modeling wedding dresses. What am I suppose to tell her stylist?"

The Peacekeeper is someone that I have never seen. Gray hair and a strong jaw, hardened by who knows what, his eyes are black as the coal that we mine and his and cheeks are red by the cold air.

"She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal." He says.

I come to her, and see that she is crying.

"Are you okay?" I ask.

You can barely hear her voice as she cries. I grab her arm to help her up on her feet.

"I don't care if she blew up the blasted Justice Building! Look at her cheek! Think that will be camera ready in a week?" Haymitch snaps back as he walks towards him.

"That's not my problem." He says.

"No?" he says poking him. "Well, it's about to be, my friend. The first call I make when I get home is to the Capitol. Find out who authorized you to mess up my victor's pretty little face!"

The man backs down and admits.

"He was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyways?"

"He's her cousin." I say. "And she's my fiancé. So if you want to get to him, expect to got through both of us."

If we have to make a stand this is the place and this is the time. My father's words that I would understand when I have a family finally make sense now. Although Haymitch isn't really family, all that we have gone through in the Games and the Tour, I consider him part of mine. Katniss is all I have to worry about, and if she protects Gale then I stand for him as well.

The Peacekeeper glances over to his backup squad ready for his orders to take us down. This is it, if we have to, we will fight and if we die, we die.

A woman from the peacekeepers speaks up.

"I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad."

"Is that the standard protocol here?" the head peacekeeper asks.

"Yes, sir," the woman peacekeeper responds.

"Very well. Get your cousin out of here, then, girl. And if he comes to, remind him that the next time he poaches off the Capitol's land, I'll assemble that firing squad personally." He says wiping the whip and splattering us with Gale's blood.

The peacekeepers leave and immediately my concern lies with Gale.

"Knife," I yell out.

Someone passes me a knife and I cut the ropes that are holding Gale to the post. He collapses to the ground.

"Better get him to your mother," Haymitch tells Katniss.

I walk over to the clothing stall and place money in her hands.

"The countertop, we need it." I tell her.

"Just don't tell them where you got it," she responds.

By the time we finally get Gale on the makeshift stretcher. There are only a couple of miners left in the crowd. We all lift the stretcher and begin to briskly walk to Katniss's house.

"What happened?" Haymitch asks the miners crew.

"Well Gale went to old man Cray's house to sell the wild turkey." One of the miners starts to explain the story.

"Yeah and when he knocked this new guy by the name of Romulus Thread opens the door and places Gale under arrest, you know because he had the turkey in his hand." The miner says.

"Lucky he only had the turkey on him. If he'd had his usual haul, would've been much worse." Another miner says.

"He told Thread he found it wandering around the Seam. Said it got over the fence and he'd stabbed it with a stick. Still a crime. But if they'd known he'd been in the woods with weapons, they'd have killed him for sure," says Thom.

"What about Darius?" I ask.

"About twenty lashes in, he stepped in, saying that was enough. Only he didn't do it smart and official, like Purina did. He grabbed Thread's arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him," the miner said.

"Doesn't sound like much good for any of us," Haymitch says.

"Don't worry Gale, we are almost there." I tell him, as I hear him moaning.

We are up to the Katniss's house and see that her mother is already on the porch waiting for us. Probably she was worried about not seeing Katniss the whole day.

"New Head Peacekeeper," Haymitch says, and immediately Katniss's mother goes into healer mode. It is something to see, just like Katniss goes into hunter mode, her mother's focus is just like her daughters.

"Kitchen table," she says. "Prim get the medicine."

She places a sterile white cloth and we place Gale on it. She pours water into a basin and begins to place medicine of this and that into the water. Cloths are then placed in the water to get soaked.

"Prim start a second batch." She says.

"Did it cut your eye?" she asks Katniss without even looking up.

We both look to Katniss to see, but she already replies.

"No, it's just swelled shut," she says.

"Get more snow on it," she instructs her.

"Can you save him?" she asks, but her mother doesn't answer. Haymitch comes over and tell her not to worry that if anyone can heal him it would be her mother.

He then hands coins to the miners who helped and send them on their way.

Gale's mother arrives and quickly sits next to her son in the kitchen and hold his hand. Katniss's mother cleans every cut and applies some crème on it. You can tell however that the pain is considerable as you can see the deep slashes. He begins to moan in pain and can tell that he is coming to.

Katniss's mother gives something to Gale to drink.

"That won't be enough. That won't be enough, I know how it feels. That will barely knock out a headache." Katniss tells her mother angrily.

"We'll combine it with sleep syrup, Katniss, and he'll manage it. The herbs are more for the inflammation -" she responds calmly.

"Just give him the medicine!" She screams at her. "Give it to him! Who are you, anyway, to decide how much pain he can stand!"

Katniss's mother looks our way and calmly instructs us to take her daughter away from the kitchen. Haymitch and I have to literally pick her up to get her out of the kitchen. We take her to a spare room on the first floor. She is fighting to get up but we are both pinning her down. Finally she starts to cry and we let her go.

"Haymitch, things are going sideways. Katniss tells me that back in the Capitol, President Snow wasn't convinced by her performance. There are uprising happening in District Eight. She wants us all to run," I say.

He looks at me, like he is considering something to say, but then Katniss's mom comes in and treats her eye.

"So it's starting again?" she says to Haymitch. "Like before?"

"By the look of it," he responds. "Who'd have thought we'd ever be sorry to see old Cray go?"

Just then the door bell rings and we all look at the door. They are coming for us. Will we have to make a stand here?

"They can't have him," Katniss says.

"Might be you they're after," Haymitch tells her.

"Or you" she snaps back.

"Not my house," Haymitch says. "But I'll get the door."

"No, I'll get it," Katniss's mother says.

We all walk to the door ready to fight if we have to. When the door is opened, it is not the peacekeepers but Madge.

"Use these for your friend," she says. "They're my mother's. She said I could take them. Use them, please." After that she runs back into the storm.

"Crazy girl," Haymitch says.

Katniss's mother fills a syringe with the liquid and shoots it into his arm.

"What is that stuff?" I ask.

"It's from the Capitol. It's called morphling," Katniss's mother says.

"I didn't even know Madge knew Gale," I say.

"We used to sell her strawberries," Katniss says.

"She must have quite a taste for them," Haymitch says.

"She's my friend," Katniss snaps back.

They ask to see if Hazelle would like to stay but she says that Gale is in good hands and that she needs to go home to the other kids.

"Do you want us to stay?" I ask Katniss's mother.

"No, it is quite alright, Gale is through the worst of it. Still not out of the woods but he will pull through. If we need anything, we will call." She says.

As I walk out the door I can still see Katniss there sitting on the stool holding Gale's hand. I will never win her heart, not completely. She will always love him, and I have to realize that. If we were to move forward with this engagement, it wouldn't be like I have always wanted. He is not a bad guy, if we were in opposite sides I would be the same way. I walk out into the cold blizzard and know that I walk alone.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

My feet go to a place my mind doesn't know. I feel the snow is starting to come down a lot heavier than usual. My only concern right now is making it to the bakery before it gets worst.

It takes me a little bit longer than usual as I can still see the street lamps lighting the way. I see that the kitchen light is still on and therefore I know that he will be there.

I open the door to find him there.

"Hey Papa," I say.

"Peeta, what are you doing out in this weather," he says.

"Well I really wanted to talk to you," I say.

"It couldn't wait huh?" He says.

"No," I say. "I just don't know how to say it."

"We'll sit down and you tell me when you are ready." He says.

I sit down at the usual little round table with four chairs. Even though we are five, there were always four chairs. Whenever we would eat, my father would always volunteer to stand. One time we all sat on the ground so that everyone can enjoy the meal together.

"Are you happy Papa?" I ask him.

"Well what more could I want Peeta? I have great boys whom I proud of each one of them. I still can provide for them, although they are getting older and got your mother." He says. "Is this about Katniss?"

"Yes, sir," I say with my head hang low. "I don't know if I would make her happy."

"Is it about the other fellow that was getting whipped today?" he asks.

"Sort of." I say. "I mean I just want her to be happy."

"Well then that is your answer" He asks. "Are you happy when she is happy?"

"Yes, when I see her smile and laugh it is like nothing else matter in life." I say. "Even if it isn't with me, I just want her to be happy."

He stands, hugs me, and says, "That is why you are a Mellark."

He hands me two loaves of bread and places them in a bag. I place the warm breads under my coat and begin to walk back. As I walk, I am reminded of when we were eleven. I can still see her grab the loaves of burnt bread I threw and placing them under her shirt as she quickly walked away.

It doesn't take me long to see that the kitchen light is still on in Katniss's house. I walk in through the kitchen door and find her there, her hand still holding his. She is happy, and that is all that matters. I place the loaves of bread on the counter and just watch her sleep. She would die to protect the ones she loved. I know I have felt that coming from her.

I slowly walk over to her and shake her shoulder. She opens her eyes to me.

"Go on up to bed, Katniss. I'll look after him now," I say.

"Peeta. About what I said yesterday, about running, -" She begins to say.

"I know," I say. "There's nothing to explain."

"Peeta, -" she starts.

"Just go to bed, okay?" I say.

I see her go upstairs and finally I just sit there and watch Gale. The time moves slowly and I can tell that he is either having nightmares or that he is in pain. I go to the warm water in the basin and soak a clean towel in the mixture. I let it dry and begin to dab his forehead. It seems that he is finally drifting asleep again.

I hear someone coming down the stairs and find that it is Katniss's mother.

"You cleaned his wounds?" she asks.

"Yes, I followed what you did, hopefully I did it correctly." I say.

She comes over and checks.

"Yes you did it alright." She says.

"I made Katniss go to sleep, she needed her rest. I hope that it is okay that I am here?" I ask.

"You really do care for my daughter, don't you?" she asks.

"It is sort of hard not to." I tell her.

"You must be tired, why don't you go home." She says. "It is alright you have done more than enough or expected to, if you want you can get some rest. The sun will be coming up soon and I will let her know, okay?"

"Okay," I say. "I have left some bread there for you and your family."

"Thank you, Peeta," she says.

I can see that both my house and Haymitch house have no light and no smoke coming from the fireplace. I walk over to Haymitch's house and find that my good mentor is passed out on the couch. He didn't even make upstairs, poor guy. I grab a clean blanket and place it on him. Grab some dry wood from the kitchen and start up the fire. I leave him the other loaf of bread that I got from the bakery, in the kitchen. After a couple of minutes, I wait for the storm to die down. I can see that the sun is about to make its daily appearance.

I walk back to my house a couple of doors down, and when I finally get upstairs to my bed, I just collapse exhausted. The dreams come and for the first time I cannot even remember them. I wake up to hear the phone is ringing. How long did I sleep I wonder. The sun is already out and yet the snow is coming down.

"Hello," I answer.

"Hey. I just wanted to make sure you got home," she says.

I smile and tell her, "Katniss, I live three houses away from you."

"I know, but with the weather and all," she says.

"Well, I'm fine. Thank you for checking." I say. "How's Gale?"

"All right. My mother and Prim are giving him snow coat now," she says.

"And your face?" I ask.

"I've got some, too," she says. "Have you seen Haymitch today?"

"I checked in on him. Dead drunk. But I built his fire and left him some bread," I say.

"I wanted to talk to – to both of you." She starts and I know that it isn't safe to say anything over the phone, especially over the lines that Capitol installed.

"Probably have to wait until after the weather calms down," I say. "nothing much will happen before that, anyway."

"No, nothing much," she admits.

We hang up the phone and finally I can fall asleep. The dreams comes of a time when it we were in the bakery with Prim. To the times we were on the train, asking each other questions about ourselves, getting to know each other. To the moments in the Capitol where we were just tasting everything in sight.

The sunlight comes through the blinds when I finally get up. These whole couples of days have been somewhat of a blur. Waking up and not knowing if it is morning or afternoon, and of what day it is.

The phone rings and find that it is Katniss on the other side.

"Hey, how are you?" she asks.

"Isn't that what I should be asking you?" I say.

"Well I am fine, and was wondering if you would like to accompany me to the Square?" she asks.

"Of course, Katniss." I say.

"Great, I will see if Haymitch would like to come to," she says. It is code for today is the day we discuss the plan, if there is still one.

"Do you want me to go and get him?" I ask.

"No I will, just be ready in thirty minutes," she says.

As we were walking towards the Square, Haymitch finally says something.

"So we're all heading off into the great unknown, are we?" he asks.

"No," she says. "Not anymore."

"Worked through the flaws in that plan, did you, sweetheart?" he asks. "Any new ideas?"

"I want to start an uprising," she says.

Haymitch starts to laugh, "well, I want a drink. You let me know how that works out for you, though,"

"Then what's your plan?" she asks.

"My plan is to make sure everything is just perfect for your wedding," says Haymitch. "I called and rescheduled the photo shoot without giving too many details."

"You don't even have a phone," she says.

"Effie had that fixed," he says. "Do you know she asked me if I'd like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better."

"Haymitch," Katniss pleads.

"Katniss." Haymitch mimics her. "It won't work."

We make it to the Square and what we find it unbelievable. In exactly two days in the middle of the blizzard, Thread, has transformed the Square to something that we saw in District Eleven. There are now some nests with Peacekeepers with machine guns. There is a whipping post, several stockades and a gallows.

I turn and see smoke in the distance.

"Thread's a quick worker," says Haymitch.

I grab her hand, and she looks to the smoke.

"Haymitch, you don't think everyone was still in" she starts to say.

"Nah, they're smarter than that. You'd be, too, if you'd been around longer." He says. "Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare."

We look at each other confused. "What's he want that for?" she asks, then realizes "we can't let him drink it. He'll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I've got some white liquor put away at home."

"Me too. Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business," I say. "I need to check on my family."

"I have to go see Hazelle." She says.

"I'll go too. Drop by the bakery on my way home," I say.

"Thanks," she says and walk towards Gale's house.

We find her in her house taking care of her daughter.

"I couldn't leave her," she tells Katniss. "I knew Gale would be in the best possible hands."

"Of course," she says. "He's much better. My mother says he'll be back in the mines in a couple of weeks,"

"May not be open until then, anyway," Gale's mother says. "Word is they're closed until further notice.

"You closed down, too?" she asks.

"Not officially," she says. "But everyone's afraid to use me now."

"Maybe it's the snow," I say.

"No, Rory made a quick round this morning. Nothing to wash, apparently." She says.

Rory wraps his arms around her, "we'll be all right."

Katniss places some money on the table says "my mother will send something for Posy" and walks outside.

Her face is one of desperation. She doesn't know how to fix this. She looks from side to side, not knowing what to do. I grab her hands, and she looks at me.

"You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob." She says.

If there were a time when she needed someone to help her through this was now. I had made a promise to myself that I would be there for her as long as she wanted me there.

"I'll go with you," I say rubbing her hands with my thumb.

"No. I've dragged you into enough trouble," she tells me.

"And avoiding a stroll by the Hob …that's going to fix things for me?" I say with a smile. "Come on."

We walk through the streets hand in hand until we finally reach the Hob, or at least what is left of it. The snow is covered with black liquid, almost like the building is bleeding.

"It's all that coal dust, from the old days." She says. "I want to check on Greasy Sae."

"Not today, Katniss. I don't think we'd be helping anyone by dropping in on them." I say.

She agrees and we walk back towards the Square. They are tons of Peacekeepers keeping watch around the Square. When did all these new peacekeepers come into the district?

The door chimes and my father walks out of the kitchen.

"Well hello there," my father greets Katniss.

"Hi, can I have some cakes?" She asks.

"But of course, why don't you try these. Peeta made these yesterday." He says.

He hands her a spoon to have on the counter.

"So, Peeta, interesting weather we are having?" he says to me.

"Yes, lots of mountain of snows all around." I tell him.

"Your mother is upstairs complaining of it, actually makes it seem like this is my fault." He says.

We have an understanding and we know that we are really not talking about the weather.

"Well who knows, spring may come soon." I say, and he smile. "Well wouldn't that be something."

"We have to get going, say hello to mom okay?" I say.

"Yes of course Peeta, and Katniss, it is always a pleasure to see you around. Don't be a stranger" he says.

"I won't." she says.

We walk back to the Victor's village; it has been a very tiresome couple of days. Who knows what will happen tomorrow.

"Peeta," she says.

"Hmm?" I say looking at her.

"Thank you for being here with me." She says.

"There is no were else I would want to be." I say.


	11. Chapter 11

PART II

"THE WATCH"

Chapter Eleven

_There will come a time when all the passion you feel for her will die out. Your youth makes it passionate but when age grabs you, love dies with circumstance. That there will be a time when my heart will grow cold for her that this is all because of the Games. _

My mother told me this when we first got back from the Victory Tour, after she had found out that I had proposed to the girl from the Seam.

I spend the morning on the roof just watching the sunrise on the cold day in the winter, I think about what she says and think that although it happened to my mother, it wouldn't happen to me. The one thing that I have that she doesn't is the ability to dream. I see Katniss, and see the possibilities of a life, even though it may never happen. The possibilities are what drive me to love her so. With this winter cold, many people are not out. The mines have been closed for two weeks and when they are opened the wages are cut and hours extended. The new peacekeepers are making life in the District worst for those that were barely making it. There is a shortage of tessera, and even on Parcel Day for our winnings to the District the food arrives spoiled and eaten by rodents.

Gale went home and well Katniss hasn't been the same since. It is almost like we are all on standby. Waiting to see what else can be taken, how else can they break us? People are being taken to the stocks for offenses that were in the past overlooked. My father stops trading with the hunters as they are looking at him closely. The tightness in the air is enough to have you home, starving but home in the protection of your house. When this happens it is only time before desperation sets in, and people do foolish things when they are desperate.

I ration the food that I buy, and give the leftovers to families of miners who haven't been able to provide. Most of the time they fight with their pride, but the look on their children's eyes always wins out. I tell them that we as a District have to stick together and that I would tell no one that I pass by. They have enough to worry about, than having a visit from the peacekeepers because of me.

Haymitch actually help Hazelle by hiring her to help as a housekeeper, well that is what he told me anyways. I am pretty sure that Katniss might have had something to do with it, but his pride probably got in the way.

The sun comes and quickly hides behinds the clouds. Good day to go for a walk, although everyone in the District is keeping their distance from me, until they come into the bakery.

Walking from Victor's village, I find that two peacekeepers are walking behind me. At first I make no notice of it, until I walk into the bakery. The door chimes after it closes and I know from the sound of the boots that they have also come inside.

"Good afternoon gentlemen," my mother says to the peacekeepers.

"Good afternoon ma'am," they answer.

"Papa in the back?" I ask.

She nods.

I walk towards the kitchen, and find that the peacekeepers stop in the bakery.

"Papa, how is everything?" I ask.

"Peeta, haven't had much customers today. Seems that people won't come into the bakery because of what happened in the Square a couple of weeks ago." He says. "But don't you worry, we will be fine."

I place money on the table. "This should help."

"You know I can't take money from you." He says.

"Well then I will give it to mom," I say.

"Peeta, things are looking like they once did back then. You be careful okay?" He says. "Take care of your family."

He hands me two loaves of bread and a coupe of cookies and I hand him some money.

"Now we can call it a business transaction." I say with a smile as I open the back kitchen door.

"Mr. Mellark," one of the peacekeeper says. "Would you come with us?"

"Do I have a choice?" I ask.

"No, you don't." she says. "Your presence is requested over a certain matter at the Everdeen house. After you."

We walk back to the Victor's village. I am guessing they didn't appreciate the fact that I was trying to lose them in the bakery. This could be as a result on what we did in the Square with Gale.

When we finally get to Katniss's house, I see that Haymitch is also there.

"Oh great, it is a party now." He says. "Probably you can now tell us why we are here? After all we are early for the dinner that we were invited to."

"That's right, Ms Everdeen, here is the bread for the dinner." I say handing it to her.

"Well thank you Peeta." She says grabbing the bread.

"We will wait until Ms. Everdeen arrives in order to deliver the message." The woman peacekeeper says.

"Will she be long?" the man peacekeeper asks.

"She should be arriving shortly," Katniss's mom says.

Prim sits there on the sofa doing homework from what I can see. I walk over to her.

"Hey there," I say. "Mind if I sit next to you?"

She puts down the pencil and looks up.

"Of course, you can help me with my homework," she says.

"Oh, before I forget," I say taking out the cookies from my pocket. "Here I had them made for you."

She opens the package and smiles at the sight of the cookies with pink frosting on them. She bites into one before her mother catches her.

Just then her cat comes into the living room. She hands it, a small piece of the cookie which he quickly eats.

"This is Buttercup," Prim says.

I reach out and before Prim could say anything, Buttercup comes up to my hand and lets me pet it. Looking up I see Prim smiling. I pick up the cat and start to stroke the cat which causes him to purr in my hands.

"Peeta, come and let's play a game of chess." Haymitch says.

"Sure thing," I say. "Be right back Prim."

I place Buttercup on the ground and he walks over to Prim. We sit down and exchange looks like something is going to happen.

An hour pass and I am beginning to think she might have revisited the plan to leave the District. If that is the case then we are all in trouble. My main concern is making sure that she is okay. After about an hour and half passes before we finally hear the door open, and look to see that it is Katniss walking as to not make noise.

"Hello," she says to the peacekeepers.

"Here she is, just in time for dinner," Katniss's mother says.

"Can I help you with something?" she asks them.

"Head Peacekeeper Thread sent us with a message for you," the woman says.

"They've been waiting for hours," her mother adds.

"Must be an important message," Katniss says.

"May we ask where you've been, Miss Everdeen?" the woman peacekeeper asks.

"Easier to ask where I _haven't _been," she responds.

"So where haven't you been?" Haymitch chimes in.

"Well, I haven't been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim's goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as to where he lives," she says to Prim.

"No, I didn't," Prim says. "I told you exactly."

"You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mine," she says.

"The east entrance," Prim corrects her.

"You distinctly said the west, because then I said, 'Next to the slag heap?' and you said, 'Yeah,'" she says.

"The slag heap next to the east entrance," Prim says.

"No. When did you say that?" she asks.

"Last night," Haymitch interrupts.

"It was definitely the east," I say. We both start to laugh. Katniss give me a glare look.

"I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen when people talk to you." I say.

"Bet people told you he didn't live there today and you didn't listen again," says Haymitch laughing.

"Shut up, Haymitch," she says.

We all smile to each other, Prim, Haymitch and I.

"Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up," she says.

We laugh even harder at the fact that Katniss finally admitted she was wrong.

"What's in the bag?" the woman peacekeeper asks.

Katniss dumps the contents on the table, "see for yourself."

""Oh, good, we're running low on bandages." Katniss mother says taking the cloth that was dumped on the table.

I walk over and see a candy bag. "Ooh, peppermints," and pop one in my mouth.

"They're mine," Katniss says trying to get the bag. I toss the bag to Haymitch, and he grabs some from the bag. He then throws it to Prim who is now giggling.

"None of you deserve candy!" she says.

"What, because we're right?" I say grabbing her around her waist and smiling at her. She yelps and I know that she is hurt. It is around her lower back, so I know that I have to hold her up but not by there. I lightly lift my hands to her shoulders. I look into her eyes. Those grey eyes that can stop time in a second if I let it. I have to fight the temptation though, as I need to focus.

"Okay, Prim said west. I distinctly heard west. And we're all idiots. How's that?"

"Better," she says. I lightly kiss her. Her lips are as soft as I can remember them. It has been a while since we last kiss and I had almost forgotten how amazing she is.

"You have a message for me?" she turns and looks at the woman peacekeeper.

"From Head Peacekeeper Thread. He wanted you to know that the fence surrounding District Twelve will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day."

"Didn't it already?" she asks.

"He though you might be interested in passing this information on to your cousin," the woman says.

"Thank you, I'll tell him. I'm sure we'll all sleep a little more soundly now that security has addressed that lapse." She says.

The woman nods and both of them leave the house. Katniss mother closes the door behind them. I feel Katniss full weight as her body gives out.

"What is it?" I say looking at her.

"Oh, I banged up my left foot. The heel. And my tailbone's had a bad day too." She says.

I semi carry her to the rocking chair where there is a padded cushion.

Her mother eases off the boots. "What happened?"

"I slipped and fell," she says, obviously lying as she cannot meet anyone's eyes. "On some ice."

Katniss's mother takes off her sock and probes the bone in her left heel. Katniss winches in pain.

"There might be a break," she says as she checks the other one. "This one seems all right."

"Prim go and grab Katniss's pajamas." She tell her. She comes back with her pajamas and a robe. We all walk to the kitchen as Katniss changes into her pajamas with the help of her mother.

Katniss's mother comes into the kitchen and pours a bowl of stew for all of us.

"Please eat," she says handing me a bowl.

We both sit down on the kitchen table and begin to eat the stew.

"Thank you, Ms. Everdeen," I say as I see her pour out another bowl for Katniss.

"No, son, thank you." She says and walks back to Katniss. After eating three bowls of stew, Prim asks Katniss to come to the living room as she needed to tell her something.

I get up and place the bowl in the sink. I walk over to the entry way of the living room. I just stand a good distance away near the kitchen.

Her mother passes me and smiles.

She gives her a cup of chamomile tea with a dose of sleep syrup. As Katniss's mother wraps her foot, she motions for me to come over. As soon I am walking towards them, I ask.

"Would you like me to take her upstairs?" I ask Katniss's mother.

She nods and I lift her up in my arms. I walk upstairs to her room. I take a deep breath of her in. She can still make my heart skip a beat as I feel her warm hands around my neck.

I place her on her bed and lift her covers to her neck.

"Good night," I tell her and kiss her on her forehead.

She grabs a hold of my hand and with her eyes slowly opening.

"Don't go yet. Not until I fall asleep," she says.

I sit on the side of her bed, gently caressing her hands with mines.

"Almost though you'd changed your mind today. When you were late for dinner." I say.

"No, I'd have told you," she says.

She takes my hand and pulls it up to her cheek. She lets out a deep sigh and says,

"Stay with me."

"Always"


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Always did love watching her sleep. After a couple of hours I find that her tense face relaxes and I can see the innocent little girl that I remember when we were younger. All before the Hunger Games, before the Victory Tour, before all these happened to us, this beautiful innocent girl had to grow up and become older much quicker.

When did it happen when we lose our innocence and our smiles? I look at her, in her peaceful slumber and I think about all the times we had in the cave. I caress her hair, and find that she smiles. If we could live in our dreams where nothing can harm us and no one can break out hearts would we gladly believe it?

After a while she lets go of my hand and I just watch her sleep.

Still dreams sooner or later we all have to wake up. I get up and go down the stairs. Katniss's mom meets me in the living room.

"She is sleeping comfortably." I tell her. "Will she be okay?"

"A week of bed rest and she should be back to her normal self." She says.

"Okay, well -" I start.

"Cheese buns." She says.

"Cheese buns?" I ask.

"Her favorite." She says. "It would be nice if you could stop by and keep her company."

I nod and walk outside.

The walk to my house doesn't seem too lonely and I find that even my house, three houses down seem closer to the girl from the Seam.

Sleep was restful and calm. Well as long as a couple of hours are. My eyes trained on the wooden ceiling until the sunlight begins to come in.

I watch the sunrise come up from the trees. In the Victor's Village you hardly see the fence from the nearby trees. The way it is built it is almost isolated, the houses bend on a curve road that if you don't know where you are going you would never find the Victor's Village. It makes me feel like I am not in District Twelve but in the woods without the fear of the Capitol.

I wonder what it would have been like if we had to escape in the woods. I mean I know that Katniss and I would survive but what about our families. Would they have come? I don't think my father would have. The whole talk about me having a family in Katniss made it clear that I have to start thinking about her as my family and not worry about them.

I sit outside on my porch. The whole world is still sleeping and no one is out yet. The sunlight is already up, but the cold has kept everyone inside. I spend the morning shoveling snow out of the path and even off the porch and the roofs.

Thinking about it, my mother certainly would have never left. She would have blamed me or my father on everything, even though all we were really doing was surviving. How were we supposed to know that the berries would start something like this?

The air seems crisper, and the birds' song seems to make sense. Probably wouldn't be a bad idea to go down to the bakery see about learning on how to make cheese buns. I was able to get down to the bakery, and I realized that my father may not even be up. He always loved to sleep in when it snowed. People typically don't come to the bakery.

He finally opens the door.

"Cheese buns," I say.

"Cheese buns?" he says. "You mean her favorite?"

"Yes." I reply with a smile.

"Well let's get started on making you a batch." He says.

We work for hours getting it just right before we package them and he hands them to me.

"Thanks," I hug him.

"Who would have thought, cheese buns." He says with a smile.

"Well it's a start," I say.

I don't even notice the Peacekeepers as they watch me leaving my father's bakery. I see them working on the fence. It seems that they are tying it down to the ground. Must have cut the electricity in order to work on the fence, a thought passed through my mind, wouldn't it be nice to have the electricity on right now. It would definitely save us the trouble should an uprising in our district start.

I am finally in front of Katniss's house before noon.

I knock on the door and find that little Primrose answers.

"Hello, Peeta." She says.

"Hello Prim, I wanted to stop by to see how your sister was doing?" I ask.

"She is still sleeping." She says. "Mother says that you might be stopping by to keep her company. Would you like to come in?"

I nod and remove my hat. Her house looks a little bit homier. I guess that is what will happen when you have a mother that takes care of you. Pictures of Katniss as a baby as well as Prim are on top of the hearth. I walk over to warm my hands, when I hear,

"Nice of you to stop by, Peeta." Katniss's mother says. "I was going to wake up the patient. If you like to take a seat, I will see if she is up for a visit."

I sit down and place the box of cheese buns on the table.

"What's that?" Prim ask.

"Well, it is cheese buns," I say.

"Oh, did you know that it is Katniss's favorite?" she asks.

"Yes, your mother told me," I say. "Would you like one?"

"It would ruin my lunch, but I don't know how, seeing how it would be something I wanted to eat." She says with a smile. "Chicken broth, two days in a roll isn't something that I enjoy."

I hear the footsteps on the upstairs and find that I hear Katniss's mother calling me from the upstairs.

"Peeta, she is up if you wish to come upstairs." She says.

I look over to Prim; take out a cookie I had placed in my pocket before I left the bakery.

"Don't tell your mother, or she would never have me over again." I say with a smile.

She crosses her heart and smiles.

I walk upstairs with the box of cheese buns. I see her mother at the top step with her arms folded. She looks at me and smiles. I hear the footstep trail off down the stairs as I open the door. The creaking sound alerts her and she is a little jumpy.

"Good morning, it is just me." I say. "Or is it afternoon?"

"Hey, good morning or afternoon, how did you sleep?" She asks.

"I slept well, hardly any nightmares." I say.

"The sleep syrup really does the trick. Not like the amount that I gave you back in the games, but I can't really remember anything from last night." She says.

"Well you professed your undying love to me, last night." I say with a serious face.

"Doubt it, would have remember that. Or probably it was you who was dreaming it?" She says with a smile creeping up.

"Yes, that is right. That was me last night over at my house." I say. "Are you up for a visitor, I brought something for you."

"Really, what?" She asks.

I open the box and a smile goes wide from ear to ear. The smell had already given it away but she confirmed it when the box was opened.

"How did you know?" She asks.

"A little mockingjay told me," I say.

"Remind me to tell that little mockingjay thank you." She says.

She takes a bite and offers a piece to me.

"Already had three," I say patting my stomach. "I offered some to the peacekeepers next to the bakery, but they were busy tying the fence to the ground."

"Really?" she asks.

"Yeah, they are too busy finishing that to follow me, felt kind of lonely." I say smiling.

"Now you can keep me company, after all it is your turn." She says.

"How do you figure?" I ask.

"I took care of you on top of the Cornucopia, did you forget already?" She says.

"Oh yeah, well if that is the case." I say. "What would you like to do?"

She moans as she tries to move over her bed to give me space.

"Here let me help you. What exactly are you trying to reach for?" I ask.

"The book on my nightstand," she says.

I grab a heavy book from the nightstand, and she moves over so that I can sit next to her.

"It is my family book; remember I told you about it?" She says. "It has plant descriptions for edible plants and medicinal descriptions."

I start to flip through the pages.

"Have a favor to ask." She says. "I wanted to add things that I have learned for my hunting experience, but of course I am no artist. Think you can help me?"

"Of course," I say, grabbing a pencil and paper. "If it is okay with you, I will sketch it here until you think it is what you are describing."

"Well let's start with something that we both can describe." She says.

"Our famous berries?" I ask.

She nods.

After about a couple of minutes we both agree on the picture and I start to sketch it in the book.

"Color would make it look a little bit better, wouldn't you say?" I ask. "Think tomorrow I will bring my paints."

We spend time just talking about what type of plants she has seen, and specific traps and snares that have worked. I add a couple of plants that I found, as well as some techniques of camouflage that works.

It is the first time someone has watched me sketch or paint. I catch her sometimes staring at me. I don't point it out but I wonder what she is looking at.

"While I sketch, tell me how you are feeling," I say.

"My body feels tired, although I know the sleep syrup helps me get a full night of sleep." She says.

"I know what you mean; sometimes it is better for me just to take short naps. It helps keep the nightmares from coming." I say.

"You still have them?" she asks.

"I haven't slept a full night with the exception to those on the trains when I did not have them." I say with a tired grin.

She grabs my hand and looks at me with those soft eyes.

"You know you can always talk to me about them," she says.

"Thanks," I say.

I turn over the sketch and she huffs.

"Peeta, this is not a sketch me day. It is about the putting useful information in the book." She says.

"I think this is useful information." I say with a smile. "But here is the other sketch that I finished a couple of minutes ago."

She smiles and closes her eyes.

"Your tired?" I ask.

"Just resting my eyes." She says.

"Maybe I should go," I say.

She grabs my hand.

"Can you stay for a little bit?" she ask.

"Okay," I say.

She sighs and takes a deep breath.

I watch her sleep for a little bit, until I start to sketch the way the afternoon sunlight. The few strands of hair that have cover one of her eye. The way her hand is positioned to block out the sunlight from her other eye. I think I like it with her hand not braided or at least half loose and half braided. I grab a couple charcoal pieces and start to fill in the shadows on her neck and the details of her face. You can still barely make out the scare for the knife attack with Chloe. Although if you didn't know it was there you wouldn't find it.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and look back to see that Katniss's mother was behind me.

"Sorry, she asked me to stay until she fell asleep." I say. "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to sketch her."

I hand her the finished sketch and tell her to keep it.

"Want something to eat?" she asks.

"Thank you but I better be going, my parents are waiting for me for lunch." I say.

"Well if you see a light on in the afternoon, you are more than welcome to stop by." She says.

"Thank you," I say and slowly get up from Katniss's bed. I place the book on the nightstand and the extra cheese bun on the chair. Her mother comes to her daughter and tucks in her blanket and closes the blinds.

We walk downstairs quietly and see that Prim is at the kitchen table doing her homework.

"Bye Prim," I say.

She looks up and waves.

Such a nice family, even the cat comes up to me and purrs. I scratch its head between its ears. I walk outside and look back to see that Katniss's mother waves. I wave back and walk towards the Square, happy that today was filled with such happiness.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

The winters are hard on someone who is missing a part of him. The doctors told me back in the Capitol that the winters will be the most painful because of the swelling. Blood restricts the muscles when the weather is cold and the joints become harder to move. You would think that from my description that I am somewhere around Haymitch's age but as I look in the mirror I see the young face of a teenager. My father says that wisdom are the years that you cannot see. It comes from the things you have learned because of circumstance. Today however I feel older than Haymitch but probably not as wise as my father.

Today is another day in the year. To anyone in the District it is a winter day where either you stay at home if you can, or go to work if you have to. Here in the District every year that you survive without dying is not one of luck but one of wisdom. If you see someone who is elderly, you don't see it as a negative but as something to strive for. In the Capitol people have surgeries to capture their youth, and most of the time, they end up looking worst than what you were trying to capture.

I stare at the bathroom mirror. You survive the hunger games, you didn't die and best of all she didn't die. You survived the Victory Tour and the president didn't kill you or your family. You even got to realize that dream of yours and to meet the girl that you have always wanted to. It is all things to be grateful for.

I repeat this to myself over and over because I know that if I can say it over and over I can come to believe it.

My hands hurt to move, the bones refuse to move. I look down at my hands with the scares from the oven and the fire, badges of pride. I fill the bath tub with warm water. I look outside and see that the day has already started and will always start whether I am up or not. I sit still on the cold edge of the bath tub, and with some struggle I remove the artificial leg. There are days like today where I can still feel my toes that no longer exist. Don't know if I would ever get over this sensation. I swing my body and ease myself in the warm water. The warm sensation helps me relax and forget.

I forget about today and I forget about tomorrow. Just concentrate on my own heart beat, and my own breathing. After about an hour or so, I decide 'enough thinking about today and just get through it.' I get up from the tub, and look over to the leg, it is not me. Not so much just the physical but more on missing a part of who he is.

I slip it on, and walk over to the closet. I look over the clothes that hang there. Many different colors and many different styles, they line up in the colors of the rainbow. Portia send me clothes sometimes as a way to keep me fashionably updated, or so she says.

The material varies from cotton to linen to wool, to some that I don't even know what they are made of. My eyes scan the colors and find a forest green shirt that I haven't worn. Removing the shirt from the hanger and one arm at a time I button up the shirt and put on a pair of slacks. Finally after taking time to get ready I walk down the stairs and grab some stew that Katniss's mother had given me to eat.

After eating in the kitchen, the silence is rhythmically interrupted by the clock that ticks and tocks.

Today is my birthday.

Walking outside I see that the different shades of grey in the sky. It is already the afternoon and I wonder where the day went. The snow can always cover the dirtiness of the world, just like the rain. It is always a chance to start a new. I walk and see that Katniss's house has smoke coming from the chimney. Probably tomorrow I will stop by and see how she is doing.

The stone half wall where we sat a couple of weeks ago is lightly covered by the snow. The snow has stop coming down but the cold wind causes me to shiver and bury my face in the scarf that I had wrapped around my throat.

I finally see the square coming and can see that the bakery's sign in the window says open. Can always count on when I need him that he is there.

I grab a wooden stick that I find laying around and tap the wooden sign that had snow covering it.

"Mellark Bakery"

I walk in and the door chimes.

No words are exchanged, only a smile between us. He walks over to me, and embraces me.

"Another year, that I have with you is a gift in itself." He says.

"Thanks Papa." I say.

"Come, let's sit and talk." He says.

We walk towards the nearby chairs and sit down.

"So how was your day? Have you been sleeping?" He asks.

"Well I don't know, I just woke up, sleeping…well it is better… somewhat… maybe," I mutter not knowing what words to describe what my normal routine has now become.

"Truthfully, sometimes I don't know if I am still sleeping, dreaming, or finally awake. It is the worst thing, never really knowing. I think that it is just as bad as the nightmares." I say. "Most of the time what I think about, is losing her. It keeps me up, until I finally see her."

"I know what that feels like," he says. It is the time I remember seeing him walking in the night every time the reaping gets closer.

"Does it get better?" I ask.

He sits there for a little bit, trying to think if it finally has gotten better. He looks up and says,

"The thing is son; it is about forgetting, and letting yourself be happy. I spend the whole year worrying about one day and the rest of the year I just forget it even existed." He asks. "You have to think about when you are the happiest. When you have that memory you just have to hold onto it and forget everything else. Understand?"

"I understand." I say, remembering the singular times that I was truly happy. Time itself would slow down in those moments and sometimes they would even stop.

"Happy birthday son," he says. "Will you stay and watch the broadcast with me?"

"What broadcast?" I ask.

"Well we received word from the officials that a mandatory broadcast is scheduled for today." He responds. "I think that it is maybe something to do with the wedding."

A big sense of relief washes over me and we go to the kitchen to watch it on the little black and white television.

We turn on the television and see that Caesar Flickerman is talking about the upcoming wedding. The crowd that is in front of the Training Center is massive. I don't know if half of the Capitol is in front our pre-games home.

He introduces Cinna, Katniss's stylist and they start to show the different designs that he made for the wedding dress.

"Maybe I should not see these? I heard that it is bad luck." I say.

"Well if you want, you can close your eyes." He says jokingly.

The program shows that they were actually voting in the Capitol on which dress would be in the wedding. Odd, always thought it was the decision of the bride, but even in this, control is something that the Capitol has over our lives. Honestly if we had no input it would be the same if we did. At the end of the day the wedding, they will make it to what they want and we just have to show up.

The dresses were narrowed to six dresses through voting, and now everyone in the Capitol had until the following day to vote for "the" dress. Or at least that is what Caesar calls it.

As the program is about to end Caesar mentions.

"Stay tuned for the other big event of the evening. That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!"

I haven't really though about this moment. The moment that we won, we became mentors to the next tributes of our District. How do you coach someone into surviving, on how to kill, to lose themselves, their identity and just give up to their will to the Capitol?

"The reading of the card," my father says. "I saw this for the second quarter quell. The president read a card from a box. Back then you boys didn't even exist and I was too old to get chosen."

The seal appears on the television screen and the anthem plays. The anthem only brings the faces of the fallen tributes that have died in our Hunger Games to my mind. What monstrosity will befall the tributes of this next quell.

The President is shown walking alongside a small boy wearing a white suit carrying a box. The way he carries it, you think there is a bomb in it. To a boy and girl tribute in our tribute it is a bomb, their lives ending before it can begin.

He begins to tell us of the history of Panem like he always does. The Quell happens once for every twenty five years. They are a sort of anniversary and it would be marked by a glorified version of the Games.

"On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every district was made to hold an election and vote on the tributes who would represent it."

How can you have an election to pick someone who would die? What crimes did the children make to deserve a death sentence? I cannot imagine what the parents went through, how can you choose your child to die?

"On the fiftieth anniversary, as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every district was required to send twice as many tributes."

We thought facing twenty two tributes was hard, imagine facing forty eight. I wonder if the Gamemakers had to do anything that year, with the amount of tributes they were bound to run into each other. I wonder how Haymitch won that year. Whenever I would ask, he would give me a strategy but not on how he actually won.

"One of my friends died that year." He says.

"Really who?" I ask.

"Maysilee," he says, hanging his head low. "That was the year that I decided never to have friends again. It was hard enough trying to keep yourself from dying in the games or from starvation, but to have someone you care for die and the way she died was just too much."

"And now we honor our third Quarter Quell," he continues. "On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of victors."

Silence. Everything goes still. My father has to only look at me and I know what that means. Before I can even think of what to say, the word escapes my mouth.

"Katniss!" and I find my feet running out the door.

My heart is racing, and all I can see is the lamp posts that light the path. I have to get to her; I have to make sure she is okay. It isn't fair; it isn't fair to her, that when she is finally safe, she is in danger again.

The whole world is turning upside down, and I do not know how to stop it. It is spinning and all I can hear is my breathing, how if I don't slow it down I would pass out. I am finally at her house when I realize that the door is open and see Katniss's mother out on the porch crying.

"Where!" I shout. "Where did she go?"

She looks up and points to houses beyond my own. I look and begin to run towards my house when it hits me. It would either be me or Haymitch.

Haymitch or me.

It will be me; I won't let him go into the arena.

The destination changes and I am at his house before I even realize what I am doing. No knock or anything I just run inside.

"You owe me!" I yell at him. I find that he is sitting on the floor with a bottle in his hand.

He takes a swish from the bottle and looks up.

"Owe you?" he says. "How do you figure that?"

"You kept me in the dark from what you had planned. You owe me!" I say slamming my fist into the wall.

"And what do you want?" he says.

"I go in, no questions ask. There is no plan other than I save her." I say with a stern voice.

"Maybe you should run it by her." He says.

"No! I am telling you! YOU will be in charge of making sure that she lives." I shout back. "With or without you, I am going in, and I will protect her. Your job is to make sure that you manipulate it to happen."

"Okay, kid." He says. "Still a fool then."

"Don't you ever forget that. We save her, she is the one. We save her." I repeat slowly, finally catching my breath. "I don't care if she comes here asking that I be saved, you save her. You convince her or not, I don't care. I don't care what game you have to do to get her to believe it, but you save her."

He nods and I know that the fight of our lives begins today.

I walk outside and know that if she didn't want to be found she wouldn't be. The moonlight doesn't give me enough to track her movements. I make the attempt to look for her. She couldn't get out of the District because of the fence, so where would she go?

I check the nearby empty houses and find one of them has a broken window. I go in and find that no one is there. I search everywhere. The best bet is to go to her house. She has to come back for them, if she is going to run. As I am walking back I can see that she is at the porch and I quicken the pace.

Just as I am about to reach her, I see she is holding onto someone. The light from the inside finally shines on this person's face.

It's Gale.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

It makes sense, when you really think about it. Only one of us can survive in the Games. If it is me who would I have to come home to?

Nightmares of losing her would be every day, no way to live a life. Sure you can say that I could find another person that would make me happy, but would I really want to? It wouldn't be fair to that person to see me constantly suffer through my nightmares of the Games, only to worsen the offense when I cannot even tell her why and who I am missing.

Her family would recover in time but they would always be missing a part of themselves like I would. Her sister would grow up and it would always be in my heart to protect her and make sure that she is happy. Who knows what would happen to her mother.

Even Gale would be lost without her. I know he cares for her and it was only because of the Games and my declaration of my feelings for her that he lost the opportunity to do the same. Never could understand why he never told her, and then I remember that I could never tell her before either. Could he survive without her? I wonder would he be as lost as I would.

Even now just thinking about it causes me to feel numb. Like the world has lost its meaning.

If it were up to Katniss she would lay down her life for me and it would be a waste because it would destroy so many others. She just doesn't see the bigger picture. If I die protecting her and she survives the quarter quell she would have her family that would love her. I know that she would grieve for me and that she would miss me but with time and with Gale she can move on, she can have a family of her own.

This is the right decision for all of us. Even my family would move on, sure they will mourn and they will miss me, but my father has two other sons and my mother has my father. They will make it through the dark days.

Watching them embrace makes sense. Katniss and Gale in the doorway, holding each other, comforting each other, it is what should happen; it is what needs to happen.

The shattering of a glass bottle snaps me back into reality. She falls and Gale catches her obviously drunk from the liquor.

Confusion passes through my mind, until I realize that this is how she handled the news of the quarter quell. This won't do. Hard enough keeping her alive but to do it with her drunk? We are not going against children that have never fought. We are going against twenty two Careers, twenty two Victors. If anything we are at a disadvantage, we are the youngest Victors and we need to be at our best.

I walk back to my house and go directly to the kitchen. Underneath the sink behind some pots and pans there are two cases of white liquor that I had bought for Haymitch. This was done just in case there was a drought and liquor was hard to find. I take both cases to the sink and with no hesitation begin to dump it one by one down the drain.

I grab the phone and call.

"I know and thank you for your concerns," I say.

"I need supplies for this coming quell. I need to see the Games that each surviving Victor won. Can you help?"

"Great and I will see you in a couple of weeks." I say. "Thank you Effie."

I walk back to the kitchen and move the boxes of empty bottles to the table; I turn and realize that this is it all I can today. Like a blow to the head it finally sinks in and my legs give out. I slump down to the floor and just lay there realizing that I will never see them again. I would never see her again but for the short moments that we now have before the games.

Exhausted I just close my eyes and quickly fall asleep.

The song of a mockingjay wakes me up and I realize that it is morning. Was it a nightmare?

I painfully get up grabbing onto the sink and lifting myself up. The empty bottles of liquor stare at me like a nasty wakeup call. Means that yesterday happened and today will happen but the tomorrows may not.

I walk towards the door, put on my coat, wrap my scarf around my neck and outside the door.  
There are no doubts now what I have to do. Many houses pass by until I reach one almost at the Seam. I knock on the door and an old woman comes to the door.

"Peeta, I heard the broadcast," she says as she grabs my hand in an attempt of consultation.

"Ripper I need a favor," I ask unwrapping my scarf. "Need you to promise me that you will not sell any liquor to Katniss or Haymitch."

"Well they are my best customers, Peeta, how can I survive without them?" She says shaking her head.

I place a bag of money on the table.

"Here, this should cover you until the Games." I say. "Please make no mistake that I know times are tough and I understand truly but I need them to be focused enough to want to live."

"Okay son, I promise until after the Games, I will not sell to either of them." She says picking up the bag of coins.

After leaving Ripper's house I know that the next stop is Haymitch's. I know that I have to trick him and find his stash of liquor, in order to throw it out. I just hope that he is passed out drunk and I can avoid this whole thing. He would certainly never agree to throw out his liquor so I would have to do it for him.

"Old man, where are you?" I call out from the living room.

"You here to make more demands?" he says.

"Not demands, I need a drink." I say.

He starts to laugh and says that Hazelle took all of his liquor upstairs in his room. I walk upstairs and find that everything looks clean and everything looks like in its place. I open the door to his room and find that the liquor is under his bed. I slide out the boxes and hear from downstairs.

"Bring me a bottle won't you," he says. "You can have one too."

Yeah I will bring the bottle right now old man, just as soon as I dump it all out.

I walk over to the toilet and begin to dump it all out. It takes me a while too, never knew how much Haymitch had but if a fire started it would probably be seen for miles, probably all the way back in the Capitol.

After the last bottle I wonder why he hasn't come upstairs looking for me, it must have taken at least thirty minutes to dump it all out.

"Probably passed out," I say to myself.

I walk downstairs and see that Katniss is up and nursing a hangover.

"There, it's done," I say.

"What's done?" she says.

"I've poured all the liquor down the drain," I say, cleaning my hands.

"You what?" Haymitch says confused.

"I tossed the lot," I say.

"He'll just buy more," Katniss says.

"No, he won't," I say. "I tracked down Ripper this morning and told her I'd turn her in the second she sold to either of you. I paid her off, too, just for good measure, but I don't think she's eager to be back in the Peacekeeper's custody."

Just then Haymitch tries to cut me with his knife, but the old man is so drunk his reaction time is slow.

"What business is it of yours what he does?" She raises her voice.

"It's completely my business. However it falls out, two of us are going in the arena again with the other as mentor. We can't afford any drunkards on this team. Especially not you, Katniss." I say.

She looks at me like I said something that was uncalled for.

"What? Last night's the only time I've ever even been drunk?" she shoots back obviously.

I am guessing she is forgetting the time she was drunk off the wine and she almost got in trouble with the Avox from the forest.

"Yeah, and look at the shape you're in," I tell her.

Katniss turns to Haymitch.

"Don't worry; I'll get you more liquor."

"Then I'll turn you both in. Let you sober up in the stock," I say.

"What's the point to this?" Haymitch says.

"The point is that two of us are coming home from the Capitol. One mentor and one victor," I say. "Effie's sending me recordings of all the living victors. We're going to watch their Games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start acting like Careers. And one of us is going to be victor again whether you like it or not!

I walk out the door and make sure to slam it.

The tapes arrive the following day and I grab them and a couple of pads of paper to take notes. I walk over to Katniss's house and find that she is still upset at me for what I told her. It really doesn't matter; I want her to be prepared. I want him to take this seriously.

We watch the tapes one by one. Some days we watch at least three or four Games. We start eating healthier and running in the mornings. At first Katniss seems to always beat us both, but after a couple of days I find that I am keeping up.

Haymitch on the other side has seen better days. He is still as strong as a bull, as we find out in the hand to hand combat drills that we run, but running he cannot even do for more than a couple of minutes. Katniss's mother would always work on healing our tired muscles, so our routine was all about preparing for the Games. Even our strategy session was more in depth; Haymitch would offer information on different character traits that would help us know who we were dealing.

Oddly enough even Gale joins into the program and shows us all about snares. This was more than likely on request by Katniss, but I do not pass up the opportunity to learn how to hunt.

One day while at her house, after Haymitch had left to his house complaining about how he hurt all over, I got up to leave and Katniss stops me.

"Peeta?" She says.

"Hmm," I say turning back.

"Umm, well," she starts trying to say. "Wanted to thank you for all the work you did on the book," she finally says.

"Oh, you're welcome." I say "How is the heel?"

"It still hurts sometimes, but I am all better now." She says.

We both say each other's name at the same time.

"You go," I say.

"No you," she says.

"Well, I just wanted to say, that I wish thing were different. Thank you for letting me be a part of your family, at least for a little while." I say.

"Your mother and your sister are wonderful and even Prim's cat." I say laughing.

"You hear that Prim, someone else that likes Buttercup," she says knowing that Prim was eavesdropping from the kitchen.

All of the sudden you hear pots and pans clank on the floor and Prim walk out of the kitchen.

"Sorry," she says and smiles to me as she walks upstairs.

"I saw her little feet in the corner," I whisper in her ear.

"I knew she was there, I can hear her breathing," she says smiling.

"If I don't get to say this later, Katniss, I just wanted to say," I start to say but find no words to say. Why I think it hasn't gotten any better telling her anything that matters, I would never know. So I just grab her hands, and gently rub her palms with my thumbs.

"Everything will be okay no matter what happens," I say.

She leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

"Thank you, you always did know what to say," she says.

She turns away quickly and runs upstairs.

We were never good at saying things like this. I turn and as I reach the door. I hear someone else call my name. Her voice softer than Katniss but her movements just as quiet as her, I honestly think that she gets it from her mother.

I turn and see that Katniss's mother is in the living room.

"I wanted to thank you for taking care of my daughter," she says.

"We took care of each other," I say.

"Not in the Games, I meant recently," she says as she hands a small box. "It isn't much but it is for you. Maybe it would give you inspiration."

I open it and see a small gold locket.

"I can't take this," I say returning it.

"Please it would mean a lot to me," she says. "It opens up and you can place pictures of your family to remind you of home when you are missing them."

She closes my open hand with the locket in it.

"Please take it," she says.

"Okay," I say. "Thank you."

I turn and walk towards the door and outside to the path. I keep the locket in my palm and wrap the chain around my hands. As I walk back home, I think about all the things that could have been and now how they will never be.

"Pictures of your family…" I hear in my head as I smooth over the locket with my fingers.

I open the door to my house and walk over to the phone.

"Portia, need your help on something," I say. "I'll tell you about it in a couple of days in the Capitol."

"Yes, I am fine, and sleeping better." I respond to her questions. "I appreciate that Portia; I know how much you wanted to see us getting married. I guess it wasn't meant to be."

I hang up the receiver and walk up the stairs to my bed. I place the locket over my neck and look at it in the moonlight.

Tomorrow's the reaping, and the beginning of the quarter quell.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

Mornings are always a time that life springs forward. It is hard to catch, but if you time it just right you are the only one awake and everyone else is just struggling to catch up. It is when the whole world wakes up that you realize how everything is connected, the birds, the weather, people, everything.

The morning sun is much warmer than the last reaping when it struggled to come through the clouds. There is no comfort in the cool wind this time around; it is stuffy and hardly welcoming. There is no promise of tomorrow just promise of death and suffering.

I walk towards the square and find that the peacekeepers have more than tripled since the Quarter Quell announcement. There are more nests with more Peacekeepers holding machine guns. It is almost like they know that this reaping will either start or subdue the uprisings. Here in District Twelve it is meant to show control and that we had no chance of an uprising. Everyone comes to the Square even though there are only three people who could be selected. My father pats me on the back. He doesn't wish me luck because he knows that winning would mean her dying. He knows that I couldn't consider that luck, so he just doesn't say anything at all.

It only takes a couple of seconds for Effie to reach in and grab the only name in the girl's bowl. She is mid way reading her name when Katniss is already on stage. When Effie comes to the male victor's bowl she chooses Haymitch Abernathy. He only has to make the effort to move forward before I volunteer to take his place.

We stand there hand in hand, and not because of the cameras but because of comfort. We offer each other a painful smile. As soon as the anthem ends, we are taken inside the Justice Building where Peacekeeper Thread waiting for us.

"New procedure," he says smiling.

We are escorted to the rear exit of the Justice Building where a car is waiting for us. We are placed in the car and quickly dropped off at the train station. This time there are no cameras, no family to say their goodbyes to. It maybe the best thing they could ever do. It would have been nearly impossible for me to see him and say again goodbye to him. We have already come to terms on what I must do, and although we would never see each other again, I thanked him for always loving me, for showing me to always look at the world through a different set of eyes.

We are on the train in a matter of seconds, before the wheels begin to turn and we are off. Katniss stands at the window watching District Twelve disappearing from view.

"We'll write letters Katniss," I tell her placing my hand on her shoulder. "It will be better, anyway. Give them a piece of us to hold on to. Haymitch will deliver them for us if they need to be delivered."

She nods and I walk her back to her room. As the door closes I see her just lay down on the bed.

I close my eyes and place my fist on her door. "I promise you will see them again." I say in a whisper tone.

Dinner comes and goes without a word. We just sit there and look at each other. It is almost like even Effie doesn't agree with this. Haymitch continues to be sober and well he is not as amusing, more like depressing really when he is sober.

"I love your new hair, Effie," I say trying to start a conversation.

"Thank you. I had it especially done to match Katniss's pin. I was thinking we might get you a golden ankle band and maybe find Haymitch a gold bracelet or something so we could all look like a team," she says.

It is sometimes great to see Effie's ignorance. She doesn't realize that the mockingjay has become the symbol of the uprising. Well at least that is what Katniss told me about District eight and the two who ran in search of District thirteen.

"I think it is a great idea," I say. "How about it, Haymitch?"

"Yeah whatever," he says as he plays with his food, mumbling something.

"Maybe we could get you a wig, too," Katniss says.

Haymitch looks at her, and we all know in the room to leave him alone. Without the liquor I could only imagine the memories he is having about his own Games. How they haunt him even now so many years later.

"Shall we watch the recap of the reapings?" Effie says.

We all walk towards the sitting room. I walk to my room and collect my notebook. From the list of fifty nine possible existing victors I narrow our search to the twenty two who were selected.

After the twelve districts victors are called, Haymitch stands and walks back to his room. Many of them were his friends, and now he has to do the unthinkable. He has to find and exploit the weaknesses of his friends. It is like if I had to find a weakness of Katniss and use it kill her. It is something that I could never do, or even begin to imagine.

Effie bids us a good night and walks off. I then take the notebooks and start to rip off the victors that were not selected. Katniss just sit there quietly watching me.

"Why don't you get some sleep," I say.

"What are you going to do?" she asks.

"Just review my notes awhile. Get a clear picture of what we're up against. But I'll go over it with you in the morning. Go to bed, Katniss," I say.

She walks away to the dark hallway to her room.

I drop my notebooks carefully and finally let the tears flow from my face. It sometimes gets hard to be strong all the time. Most exhausting thing is trying to hold it together when all you want to do is fall apart. I cup my hands to my face and catch most of the tears. It is probably about thirty minutes or so before I finally pull myself together. I start putting tape by tape watching the Games of the Victor's chosen for the Quarter Quell. I look at my notes and pause and rewind specific moments, specific fighting techniques, on how they react to certain situations, whether created by the Gamemakers or not. Any weakness is hard to catch but there are some that I can assume. I will ask Haymitch about them tomorrow. I halfway through re-watching District One's tape when I hear feel someone behind me, I turn see that it is Katniss just there standing before me.

"Couldn't sleep?" I ask turning off the television.

"Not for long," she says.

Nightmares. For such a long time we have suffered through the night.

"Want to talk about it?" I say.

She nods her head no. And there I see in that moment when Katniss is not being strong for anyone, has allowed herself to be vulnerable. I open my arms to her. Those grey eyes, tired but still passionate. You can look at them and know that she is all alone here with no one she can be herself with. Looking into my eyes, she walks over to me and embraces me.

It has been a long time since we have held each other. All this time, I have been trying to push her away, trying to close my heart to her. It was better that way for both of us, so that she would forget me, and so it wouldn't hurt so much losing her. It only takes her eyes and to hear her heart in need of someone to hold her, to break down my defenses.

I hold her like this would be the last time or the first time I have held her. The whole day was rushed through, no time to think, no time to feel. This moment though everything slowed down to a point that time probably stood still. It is our moment in eternity. I lose myself in her fire. I place my face in her hair, loose and free flowing. I softly whisper how much I missed her, not wanting her to hear it, but only wanting to say it. I kiss her softly on her neck and wished that we could stay like this forever.

A Capitol attendant clears his throat and we slowly separate. He sets a tray with a steaming ceramic jug and two mugs on a table.

"I brought an extra cup," he says.

"Thanks," she says.

Yeah thanks, I think to myself.

"And I added a touch of honey to the milk. For sweetness. And a pinch of spice," he says.

We look at him. It is almost like he wants to say something else, like he wants to unburden himself. He shakes his head and walks away.

"What's with him?" Katniss asks.

"I think he feels bad for us," I say.

"Right," she says pouring the milk.

"I mean it. I don't think the people in the Capitol are going to be all right about our going back in," I say. "Or the other victors. They get attached to their champions."

"I'm guessing they'll get over it once the blood starts flowing," she says.

I look at her and know that she may be right. People only care about you when you do what you want for them.

"So, you're watching all the tapes again?" she asks.

"Not really. Just sort of skipping around to see people's different fighting techniques," I say.

She moves over to the box and looks at the numbers on the tape.

"Who's next?" she asks.

"You pick," I respond sitting down.

She picks up a tape and hands it to me.

"We never watched this one," she says.

It says fifty on it. This is the second quarter quell. This is the year that Haymitch won. Something is not right about watching it. I shake my head.

"No. I knew Haymitch didn't want to. The same way we didn't want to relive our own Games. And since we're all on the same team, I didn't think it mattered much."

"Is the person who won in twenty-five in here?" she asks.

"I don't think so. Whoever it was must be dead by now, and Effie only sent me victors we might have to face." I say.

I stare at the tape with the number fifty on it.

"Why? You think we ought to watch it?"

"It's the only Quell we have. We might pick up something valuable about how they work," she says. "We don't have to tell Haymitch we saw it."

"Okay," I finally say placing the tape in. Sitting down in the soft cool leather, Katniss curls up next to me. I place my hand around her shoulder and she places her head on my chest. She sits there just sipping the warm milk and it feels right just there with her.

The anthem starts and we see President Snow reading the card of the second Quarter Quell. By the time we reach District Twelve, the sheer numbers of children that are called are so overwhelming.

The first person that is called is Maysilee Donner.

"Oh!" Katinss exclaims, "she was my mother's friend."

"I think that's you mother hugging her," I tell her. The camera zooms in and I see another girl holding her hand.

"Madge," she says.

"That's her mother. She and Maysilee were twins or something," I say. "My dad mentioned it once."

When Haymitch's name is called, we are both shocked to see him, so young, so strong. His hair dark and those eyes even back then dangerous.

"Oh. Peeta, you don't think he killed Maysilee, do you?" she says looking at me.

"With forty-eight players? I'd say the odds are against it," I say comforting her.

The chariot rides come and go but the interview is given in its full length.

Caesar still looks the same as he did twenty five years ago. It has to be the Capitol surgeries to keep him young.

"So, Haymitch, what do you think of the Games having one hundred percent more competitors than usual?" he asks.

"I don't see that it makes much difference. They'll still be one hundred percent as stupid as usual, so figure my odds will be roughly the same." Haymitch says. Such arrogance, I think that it may be a part of the strategy but realize that he may just be that way.

"He didn't have to reach far for that, did he?" she says.

The Games replay and I see many of the young kids die on the first day. Haymitch being chased by squirrels that turn out to be man-eating, along with the butterflies that if stung would bring agony and then death.

Four days into the Games a mountain erupts and wipes out a dozen other tributes. It forces the survivors to go into the woods for a hiding place. That is where Haymitch encounters three Careers. With just a knife, Haymitch quickly kills off two of the Careers when the third has him by the neck. Just then a dart from Maysilee Donner's blow gun hits the Career which drops him dead on the ground.

She tells Haymitch, "We'd live longer with two of us."

"Guess you just proved that," he responds. "Allies?" he asks. Just like that, they were allies.

It reminds me of Katniss and me, two tributes from the same District becoming allies.

Haymitch's strategy is to keep moving towards the opposite direction of everyone else.

"Why?" Maysilee asks.

"Because it has to end somewhere right?" he responds. "The arena cannot go on forever."

"What do you expect to find?" she asks.

"I don't know. But maybe there's something we can use," he says.

They finally make it to that edge. A cliff overlooks jagged rocks is all that is at the edge of the arena.

"That's all there is, Haymitch. Let's go back," she says.

"No, I'm staying here," he says.

"All right. There's only five of us left. May as well say good-bye now, anyway," she says. "I don't want it to come down to you and me."

"Okay," he says.

Just like that, alliance is over and they are back to survive on their own.

Haymitch starts to walk alongside the cliff kicking a pebble over the edge to see how far of a drop it is; only to find the same pebble shoots right back to him. He looks at it for a couple of minutes, and then tries it out with a larger rock. When it flies back out, he begins to laugh.

Just then Maysilee begins to scream and Haymitch without thinking runs towards her. It seems that a flock of pink birds attacked her and with their beak had stabbed her through the neck. As she died, Haymitch held her hand, could it be that he cared for her in the District like I do for Katniss?

It is later that day when only he and the girl from District One are left. When they finally meet, the encounter is both deadly and bloody. Both have delivered what seem to be fatal wounds. Haymitch stumbles to the cliff where the girl from district one follows.

Just as he reaches the cliff the girl throws an ax towards Haymitch. He lies on the ground just as the ax flies by. The girl collapses on her knees knowing that she can outlast his injuries she can win, but what she doesn't know is that the ax would come back, and when it does, it buries itself in her head.

The cannon sound and Haymitch is crowned Victor.

I turn off the television, and we both just sit there.

"That force field at the bottom of the cliff, it was like the one on the roof of the Training Center. The one that throws you back if you try to jump off and commit suicide. Haymitch found a way to turn it into a weapon." I say.

"Not just against the other tributes, but the Capitol too," she says. "You know they didn't expect that to happen. It wasn't meant to be part of the arena. They never planned on anyone using it as a weapon. It made them look stupid that he figured it out. I bet they had a good time trying to spin that one. Bet that's why I don't remember seeing it on television. It's almost as bad as us and the berries!"

She starts to laugh. I look at her and think to myself well at least she can laugh about our situation.

"Almost, but not quite," we hear from behind us. We turn around and see that Haymitch was watching us the whole time. He smirks at us, lifts up a bottle of wine and takes a swig.

It is better this way, because now he doesn't have to think about it. It is one thing to see it on television but another to have been there. I know the feeling, how it is a television inside your head and no matter what you do, you cannot stop it from replaying the same thing over and over. You can't change the channel; all you can do is try to numb it, so it doesn't hurt as much.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

The Capitol comes to focus from the window of my room. The vast city is impressive the first time you see it, but the second time is just awe inspiring. The train makes it through the night and is coming into the Capitol in the morning just as the sunlight is coming over the mountains. The turns through Panem are something that you cannot even feel. How many Districts did we go through to make it here? If you could just stop the train, even for a second and take a picture, it would be a picture that you can put on a post card.

I want to forget it all. Everything. If I could forget for a second the reason why I am coming here I could actually come to enjoy the Capitol. The lights, the tall buildings, they can intrigue someone who has never had such entertainment. If I could forget what the Capitol stands for, their lavish parties, their wasteful nature, how it leaves everyone close to death due to the vast hunger and the poverty in every district. If I could forget I could come to be friends with the people here. Oh how I wish I could forget just for a day, so that the reason why I am being taken to the remake center would matter to me and not matter to everyone else.

I just lie there on my bed, waiting for the train to stop to start the show; the Games are all a big show. I feel the locket on my hand, cool to the touch. Thinking of the last day that I was in District Twelve, and remember what she said. It actually works, just the touch of the locket and I remember them. The people I love and left in District Twelve. I sit up and place my foot on the cool metal surface of the train. I slip on my reminder of the Games, the little memory that I will always have. They took away my leg, and now they will take away my dream, my desire.

The warm water feels soothing, almost relaxing. I slip on a clean white shirt and dark pants. Comb my hair and look at the mirror. Showtime.

I walk out of my room as the train begins to slow down. I see them waiting in the sitting room. I feel her fingers intertwine with mines. The warm palm of the other hand cup my hand. I look over and see her smiling.

"You ready?" I ask.

"Hmm hmm," she says.

We walk outside and find that the crowds are still there but now it is mostly a somber atmosphere. The photographer takes pictures and it is almost like they want to hug us but have to do their jobs. This could be something that we can use to gain more sponsorship. I wonder though how to make it work though, there sadness, their longing for us to be set free, to see the injustice of this the Quarter Quell.

We walk with a sense of purpose to the waiting car, making no eye contact with any of them. The door opens to the black car with the tinted windows. I help her into the car and slide into the back seat with her. The door closes and just like that, the Capitol has met us again. This time around, we are a little older, a little bit more mature.

We are welcomed with open arms at the remake center where our prep team each take turns embracing us. It is almost like they actually feel our pain. The aggravation of it all though is that there signs of pain can be shown on the children that have to go through this every year. The only reason why they even care is because we let them have a part of us, and now we cannot seem to keep anything. Everything is being taken by the Capitol. If we are going to take advantage of this, we have to give them a reason to care.

We are each taken to our separate rooms where each of our prep team begins their work. It must have taken us a full hour of just embraces and crying before we even got to begin. Must have consoled the whole team, twice and said that it was okay before they would even begin. It almost felt like it was them who were going back into the Games and not me. When we finally get done, Portia walks in, and embraces me before saying a word.

"Sorry, I just wished that things would have turned out differently," she says.

"I understand and thank you," I say. "I do need your help though."

I remove the locket that Katniss's mother gave me.

"It is a locket that someone gave me as a token from my District. If you could find me Katniss's mother picture with Prim her sister it would be nice to place in there." I say.

"One picture on each side?" she asks.

"Well no, both of them on one side." I respond.

"Your parents on the other then?" she assumes.

"No, I need Katniss's cousin Gale on the other side," I tell her.

She looks at me confused.

"My parents I have in here," I say touching my chest. "These people that I carry in this locket are my other family, they are the people that matter the most to Katniss. So they matter to me. This reminds me of who I am fighting for. So that I remember who Katniss will come home to."

Her eyes begin to fight back the tears.

"Please don't cry, I can take another therapy session." I say.

"I am very proud of you. You do know that?" she says.

I nod. "Do you think we can get it done before the interview?" I ask.

"We will do so." She says. She cups the locket and walks out of the room. If I am going to remind myself of anything, it is who I am fighting for. I am fighting for Katniss's family that she survives and has a life and a family of her own.

After lunch, we just sit there and Portia asks me about life back in District Twelve. She is amazed that people get around without television, and without cars.

"Well we find things to do, and walking is all we know. Everything is walking distance." I say.

"So tell me what is life in Capitol like," I say.

"Well everything is new and fresh here, so we have to always keep up with what is the next big thing." She says.

"Sounds like you never get to rest and enjoy things," I say.

"We do sometimes," she says.

There is silence and an almost sadness in her voice. I try to get her mind back on the thing she loves the most, the clothes and remaking me like I remake a canvas.

"So am I going to be on fire for the opening ceremonies?" I ask her.

She smiles as she places a spoonful of soup in her mouth.

"Not really, but close to." She says.

After eating we walk back to the room and she brings a box with the costume for the opening ceremonies.

I open the box and pull out a black jump suit. It is very well made and simple.

"Nothing is as it seems, right?" I ask.

She nods and helps me slip it on. The material is thick but cool; it breathes well and allows me to move without a problem. There is a switch on the inside of my wrist. I ask her if I should wait until the ceremonies to turn it on like before.

"No you can turn it on," she says.

I do and the things Portia and Cinna can imagine. I wish I could just pick her brain on what inspires her.

The whole suit begins to glow like embers of a fire. It changes color, it rises and falls. I am not on fire, but I am glowing like a sustained fire.

"What do you think?" she asks.

"I can try to say something, but it would fall short. It really is remarkable." I say.

She tells me that this time around, since we are the youngest, that we have to give off a sense of arrogance to the other Victors, so no smiling and no waving.

Obviously this would make Katniss very happy. Here I am trying to get her to smile more, and they tell us that our new strategy is to be as serious as possible. This in itself would probably make her smile the most.

Walking down to the elevator I find myself a little bit nervous. This would be the first time that we see the other Victors. Although we saw them in the recap of the reaping there is something about meeting them in person that leaves me a little on edge.

The doors open and I see Katniss underneath the District Twelve sign. She is stroking the hair of one of our horses. She is talking to someone, a tall male with a golden net as a costume. The guy is basically naked in a net. The only ones that would have a net would be District Four, and the male Victor that was selected from District Four was Finnick Odair. If there is anyone in this group to watch out for, it is Finnick. He was the youngest tribute ever to win the Games at the age of fourteen. I can still remember the notes I took, he is good in water, and can weave nets out of anything. His main weapon of choice is a trident. He can wield it without any issues. It can be used as a close quarter weapon or long range depending on how far he can throw it.

He was quick back when he won the Games. I wonder if age has slowed him down any. Although at the age of twenty four, is not old. Most of the previous Games, though it is not so much about age, you don't win because you are young, it is actually a liability, you win because you can outsmart everyone else, it is after all a game. It wasn't so much as the fighting technique more on the psychological. Everyone has a weakness and can be manipulated. Katniss and mines are easily identifiable, we are each other's weakness, or at least I like to think so. If someone had Katniss, they know that I would do anything to save her. Katniss I know from the last Games, that she would risk her life to save mine. The thing is to find out the other Victors pressure points.

Finnick makes eye contact with me and begins to move away from Katniss. As I approach her, I scan the room making sure that if anyone else is watching that we do not show any weaknesses.

"What did Finnick Odair want?" I ask her.

Katniss turns and leans in like she is about to kiss me. She bats her eyelids at me and tells me.

"He offered me sugar and wanted to know all my secrets," she says in a seductive voice.

I can't help but laugh at how she is mimicking Finnick.

"Ugh. Not really." I say.

"Really," she says. "I'll tell you more when my skin stops crawling."

She begins to shiver like she is cold or like something is crawling up her skin. This of course has the same effect on me and there we are the Victors from District Twelve shaking and laughing. Just a couple of kids laughing and not cold hearted killers, that everyone turned out to be.

"Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had won?" I ask. "Just another part of the freak show?"

I look around at the other Victors. Some are too engrossed in their own world to even notice us. There are others though that is keeping a watchful eye.

"Sure. Especially you," she says.

I turn back and look at her. Of course she is joking so I will play along.

"Oh. And why especially me?" I say smiling.

"Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don't," she says tilting her nose up. "They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you'd be lost entirely."

That is definitely true. Admiring the beauty in things is something that I love, but it isn't a weakness it is a way of seeing things differently.

It was one of these days back in District Twelve. We were out running around the district, training for the Quarter Quell, when I had to stop. Katniss kept running and I can see she was not going to be waiting for me. I place my hands on my knees trying to catch my breath.

"Having trouble keeping up," someone says.

I look around and find an old man just sitting on a crate.

"Well…you…could…say….that," I say in between breathes.

"Is she beautiful?" he asks.

Such a random question, I look up finally and see that the old man is blind.

"Well you could… say that …and of course… you wouldn't be lying," I say.

I take one deep breath and finally am able to speak in long sentences. "But the thing is, how you would ever know if I am telling the truth,"

"That is true, I don't know what the people considers beautiful, but I do hear it." He says.

"Hear it? How can you hear something beautiful?" I ask him.

"Well ever hear a child laughing because she is playing with her favorite toy? Or how about the birds singing a song that only if stop to listen would you actually hear it?" He says.

"Good point," I say.

"So what makes her beautiful?" he asks actually wanting to know. "And don't say something that everyone knows."

"Well honestly, she is beautiful because of the way her smile is crooked. Or when she is nervous she rubs her hands and if she is sitting, her left foot rubs on her right calf. There are just so many different ways that she is beautiful." I say. "She makes me weak in the knees when I see her walking towards me."

The old man smiles and I hear in the distance Katniss urging me to catch up.

"Go and catch something beautiful," he says.

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness," I say to Katniss. "Except possibly when it comes to you."

She is my weakness, because when I think of what makes something beautiful, I think of her.

The doors begin to open and I hear the music begin to play. The roar of the crowd starts as the first chariot begins to roll out.

I reach out my hand, "shall we?"

I lift her up to the chariot and she in turns pulls me up.

"Hold still," she says as she straightens my crown. "Have you seen your suit turned on? We're going to be fabulous again."

"Absolutely. But Portia says we're to be very above it all. No waving or anything," I say. "Where are they, anyways?"

I look around and find that they are nowhere to be found.

"I don't know," she says. "Maybe we better go ahead and switch ourselves on,"

"Are we supposed to hold hands this year?" she asks.

"I guess they've left it up to us," I say stopping to look at her. She begins to move one of the strands out of her face and behind her ear, and I know that she is nervous. One of the many things that I notice about her, that makes her beautiful.

We don't have to look down to find each other hands, it is almost like we could find ourselves in the dark. I know that no matter where she is, I would find her; she is my light in the darkness. I know if I am ever lost in the arena, she is the way that I will find my way back.

Our eyes never meet anyone in the crowd; our deposition is one of distaste. The crowd cheers are deafening. The only thing I can feel is Katniss's hand and my heart beat. We go around the circle and hear the welcome from President Snow. His eyes trained on us, almost like this Quarter Quell was made especially for us. These Games created so that we may die for our act of rebellion for starting the uprisings.

The chariot makes it return trip to the Training Center, and the door closes. We both let out a sigh of relief and see that our stylists are giving us thumbs up. We can even see Haymitch has come down to see us, or at least that is what we thought. We see him a couple of feet away talking to the Victors of District Eleven.

Chaff and Seeder the Victors from District Eleven follows Haymitch over to us. Chaff's Games was one of the bloodiest that I have ever seen, it is where he lost one of his hands. He is tall and dark skinned and unlike Thresh he is more expressive. The older woman Seeder has olive skin and yellow brown eyes. She looks strong for an older woman. They both walk over with our mentor. You can tell that they have been friends for a long time. Before we can even say anything Seeder embraces Katniss for a second before she lets her go.

Chaff places his hand over her and gives her a kiss on her mouth. I walk over to stop him and a couple of Capitol attendants get in between us.

"Sirs, you are required to take your leave up to your floors. There are to be no physical contact between Tributes until the Games begin." One says.

Katniss quickly grabs my hand and begins to tug me to the elevators. I look back to see that Haymitch and Chaff are laughing like it is a joke.

We will see old man who is laughing at the end.

As we walk towards the elevator I see someone dress like a tree walk over to us. District seven is lumber and if I am right the girl tribute if you can call her a girl is Johanna Mason.

"Isn't my costume awful? My stylist's the biggest idiot in the Capitol. Our tributes have been trees for forty years under her. Wish I'd gotten Cinna. You look fantastic." She says.

Johanna won her Games but making the other tributes believe that she was weak and helpless. Most of the other tributes ignored her long enough for her to kill them. Her biggest weapon is her ability to manipulate. She is another Clove, and one that you have to fight, fire with fire.

"Yeah, he's been helping me design my own clothing line. You should see what he can do with velvet." Katniss says.

"I have. On your tour. That strapless number you wore in District Two? The deep blue one with the diamonds? So gorgeous I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it right off your back." Johanna says.

They both smile to each other, polite ones that actually mean nothing at all.

Just as we reach the elevator, she unzips her costume and lets it fall to the ground. There she stands Johanna Mason without any clothes on.

We get on the elevator, Johanna, Chaff, Seeder and Katniss all in the most uncomfortable situation possible.

"So, Peeta, they tell me you are a painter?" She asks me.

I look at her straight in her eyes. I know your game Johanna, and you won't rattle me.

"Yes, I paint here and there, nothing too special," I say.

"Too bad we ended up in the Games, wouldn't mind getting a self portrait painted by you." She says.

"Sorry, darling, I don't do portraits, not inspiring enough." I say.

The elevator door dings and the seventh floor opens. She walks out, but not before she looks back at Katniss with a smirk.

The elevator dings once again and both Chaff and Seeder walk out on the eleventh floor. The door closes and Katniss tosses my hand. Can you believe it, she is actually jealous. She couldn't see the psychological mind games Johanna just did. I start to let out a laugh.

"What?" she says angrily looking at me in the eyes.

"It's you Katniss. Can't you see?" I say.

"What's me?" she asks.

"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down." I say grabbing her hands. "They're playing with you because you're so …you know."

"No, I don't know." She shoots back.

"It's like when you wouldn't look at me naked in the arena even though I was half dead. You're so…pure," I say.

"I am not!" she says. "I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!"

"Yeah, but… I mean, for the Capitol, you're pure," I say. "For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you."

She looks away and I can see that she cannot believe it. How can I get her to see that all I want to do is spend time with her, that all day all I can think of is how much longer until I can finally talk to her. These are the few moments that I have with her, away from everything and everyone, and I for one will not share her with anyone. These are the memories that I will take with me long after I die.

"No, they're laughing at me, and so are you!" She says.

"No." I say shaking my head.

The door opens and there stands Effie and Haymtich, watching me try to convince Katniss while holding both her hands.

We both look at them. Haymitch's face, shows a look that I know all too well. It is one of anger, but not at us. He turns and stares down the hallway towards the entrance to the dining room.

Effie chimes in "looks like they've got you a match set this year."

His face is like a ghost. It is the same look I saw just as I was running towards Katniss's mother's house with Gale. He was on the ground half dead. Did they do this to hurt her? They had to, why else would he be here as an Avox? All the rage that is inside Haymitch now grows in both of us.

The Avox is Darius.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

His voice still echoes through my head. It was one of those winters in District Twelve. He had come into the bakery one morning looking for what I thought was to buy a couple of pastries. I had just started to stock the newly baked bread when I hear him talking to my father. Darius was back then the head peacekeeper and typically he never comes into the bakery, but now for some odd reason he decides to come in today.

"You know it is illegal," Darius says.

"Illegal you say?" He says playing ignorance.

"I have heard that there are some kids out in the forest poaching." He says. "Don't have a specific description of the kids mind you, but…is your boy Peeta here?"

He wipes his hands off on his apron and walks to the stock room.

"Peeta can you come here?" he asks.

I walk towards him knowing full well who Darius is talking about.

"Yes, Peacekeeper Darius, how can I help you?" I say.

"Do you know anything about a couple of kids going off to poach?" he asks.

"No," I say. "Do you know what they look like? I can keep an eye out for you."

"No, but thank you," he says. "One of the neighbors here said they might have seen a boy a couple of days ago come to the back entrance of this here bakery. Do you know anything about that?"

"No, Peacekeeper Darius, we do not know anything about that." My father interrupts.

"Well if you hear anything, you let me know, okay." He says, as he walks out of the bakery.

My mother stands in the back and we could hear her making her way back up the stairs.

His face from back then now stares at me here in the Capitol.

I see him there standing, looking at us both. His face is expressionless. His demeanor is one of indifference. I don't know what to feel. Conflicted I search her face to see what to think, how to react. Should I feel like he got what he deserves because he comes from the Capitol? After all we know that all of the peacekeepers come from the Capitol and I think District Two. I wonder though is becoming a Peacekeeper, is it like the Games? Do you volunteer to become one or are you chosen? I can't help but to think that no matter where he came from, he didn't deserve this. Labeled a traitor, and therefore his only way to express himself removed, and he then transformed into an animal unable to communicate.

I shake my head.

No one deserves this, even if they did commit a crime. What crime did Darius do, how can they label him a traitor. He stepped in to help Gale. To help another one of our District, the same one he was looking for all those years ago. That isn't a traitor. That is what anyone in our District would do. He wasn't a peacekeeper then, he had become one of us.

Katniss with those eyes of fire, just stares at him, I feel her hand slowly release mines. Not knowing what to say she just turns her face and walks towards her room.

I reach for her, but know that it would be foolish of me to talk to her. She needs to process this. Heck I need to process this.

I walk towards the sitting room and just sit down. The reality of this place has hit me in the face. There is no forgetting who the Capitol is and what they stand for. They do not care who you are or what District you come from, they will rip your dignity off if you become a threat to them. I place my feet on the coffee table and just stare out.

I hear someone come and sit in the next chair.

"Cat got your tongue?" he asks.

I look at him, foolish old man. Obviously he is drunk or trying to get a reaction out of me. Was Darius just another Peacekeeper to him?

"He didn't deserve it," I say. "You have to realize that."

"No one deserves it, but that is not it," He says. "Remember who you are fighting. Your main concern is her, no? You came and demanded something that day or did you forget? This is not your problem."

He gets up and pats me on the shoulder before he walks back to his room.

Just then I kick the table upset of what we have become and by mistake knock over a vase. It shatters into pieces, and if on cue, Darius comes to pick up the pieces.

I am already on my knees picking up the pieces, saying sorry over and over. To anyone who is walking by, they would think it was because of I knocked over the vase. But as he picks up the pieces, I grab his hand.

He jerks back and looks at me straight in the eyes.

"I'm sorry," I say. "I'm sorry."

He shakes his head no, and lowers his head as he continues to pick up the pieces.

He has to realize what I meant. He chose to be a peacekeeper, but he doesn't deserve this. No one does. As I try to make another attempt to talk to him. I hear.

"Peeta, that is not your job," Effie says as she sees me help clean up.

"Oh, I am sorry, force of habit, I guess," I say getting to my feet.

I walk next to him and touch his shoulder and say again, 'I'm sorry' before walking to my room.

As the door opens I remove the costume and walk over to the bathroom. I turn on the water and place it to cold. I just sit there on the floor of the shower, letting the cold water fall over my head. Probably if my body feels numb of the cold water, then my heart would be numb. I could then process this; I could then come to accept this. The tears masked by the cold water, I place my hands in my face as I try to bury everything deep inside, covering the world from the light.

I don't think I can do it again. I say over and over in my head. I am not strong enough. What if I fail? What if she dies and I cannot save her? It is all those thoughts that I have been burying deep behind the smiles and behind the fake happiness. What if I can't hold it together? What if I crack and cannot bring myself back together?

After about an hour I begin to shake, who knows if because of the cold water or because of the thoughts that I have running through my head. I lift up my hand looking blindly for the knob. After turning it off I just sit there and let the drips for the tips of my hair fall to the floor.

I look out to the bathroom floor and see the reminder staring at me. This brings my mind to focus. Remember who you are fighting, echoes. The reminder that will forever be there to show me what they are capable of.

I stand all dress and ready to go, and slip on the leg. I place it sturdy on the ground and begin to walk towards the dining room. The air is so cold in the room; everyone is so polite and proper. We talk about the opening ceremony, how wonderful we looked and it is like everyone has forgotten what just happened. Sure Cinna and Portia don't have a clue on what hardships we have had to endure, but what about Haymitch, how he can be so callous, do they just not care.

After dinner, Effie suggests that we go and see the recap of the opening ceremony. Honestly I don't want to; all I want to do is get this over with go to my room and stay there until the Games start. The quicker we get this done, the faster it will be done. We pretend and create these stories and for what, none of its true, so why pretend. She sits there between Cinna and Haymitch, obviously still upset at me. Who knows for what reason she is upset, and if she is upset, it just doesn't matter anymore.

We watch it in silence, only making a comment here and there. How ridiculous some of the Victors look in costume, especially the older ones, it is a silly tradition, riding around in a chariot wearing clothes that symbolizes our District. It is only a couple of seconds after the end of the recap and Katniss is already getting up and saying good night. After the pleasant goodbyes and the thank yous I say good night as well and walk to my room. I walk by her room. I knock lightly, wanting to tell her that I am sorry for earlier, but she doesn't open the door.

I think to myself. Who is left when the only one that would listen is gone?

It takes only a few minutes inside my room to realize that I cannot sleep. It has crept up on me these last couple of weeks, the shadows. The training has helped wear out my body to a point where it was easier, but now, the time would go from a couple of hours of sleep to a couple of minutes to not even sleeping at all. I can still remember all those times in the Victory Tour, those nights where we fell asleep in each other's arms, gone. Now I just roam the hallways desperate for peace and finding only exhaustion and the shadows. The stillness of the night bothers me and the shadows bring nightmares. Am I still awake or finally dreaming? I cannot tell the difference so I have to trust my body when it finally gives in and I collapse falling asleep, if you could call it that.

The sunlight wakes me before my body can process. Where I am? It is only a couple of minutes of confusion. I feel the sheets and realize that I am in my room on the twelve floor of the Training Center in the Capitol. I stand numb from the lack of sleep, even the cold water has no effect and I have to rub feeling back in my face.

Not wishing to go to breakfast I just sit there on the edge of my bed. After about another hour or so of people knocking, I finally get up and walk over to the dining room. Only Haymitch is there.

"It is very nice of you to wake up and grace me with your presence." He says annoyed. "You look like crap. Why don't you get some coffee in you? I have to go wake up sleeping beauty who decided to sleep in as well."

I see him walking from side to side like we are on a boat and banging on Katniss's door. He walks back and sits down obviously not too happy. A couple of minutes later, I see Katniss walking down to the dining room.

"You're late," Haymitch snarls.

"Sorry. I slept in after the mutilated-tongue nightmares kept me up half the night." She says standoffish.

"All right, never mind. Today in training, you've got two jobs. One stay in love." Haymitch finally relents.

"Obviously," Katniss says.

"And two, make some friends," He says.

"No," Katniss immediately shoots back. "I don't trust any of them, I can't stand most of them, and I'd rather operate with just the two of us."

"That's what I said at first, but - " I start to say, but immediately cut off.

"But it won't be enough," Haymitch says. "You're going to need more allies this time around."

"Why," she asks.

"Because you're at a distinct disadvantage. Your competitors have known each other for years. So who do you think they're going to target first?" he says.

"Us. And nothing we're going to do is going to override any old friendship," she points out. "So why bother?"

"Because you can fight. You're popular with the crowd. That could still make you desirable allies. But only if you let the others know you're willing to team up with them," Haymitch says.

"You mean you want us in the Career pack this year?" Katniss asks.

"That's been our strategy, hasn't it? To train like Careers?" Haymitch shoots back. "And who makes up the Career pack is generally agreed upon before the Games begin. Peeta barely got in with them last year."

Get in with them? I never got in with them; I had to team up with them to keep her alive and myself alive. To bring it up now it is like I was thinking about it all along. This old man, all I want to do sometimes is punch him straight in the jaw.

"So we're to try to get in with Finnick and Brutus – is that what you're saying?" Katniss shockingly says.

"Not necessarily. Everyone's a victor. Make your own pack if you'd rather. Choose who you like. I'd suggest Chaff and Seeder. Although Finnick's not to be ignored," Haymitch says. "Find someone to team up with who might be of some use to you. Remember, you're not in a ring full of trembling children anymore. These people are all experienced killers, no matter what shape they appear to be in."

"I'll try," she finally concedes.

We walk towards the elevator and find that Effie wants to walk us downstairs.

"Well they are the youngest; probably they should be treated as babies that would definitely help them in the arena. Yes they do need a babysitter," Haymitch says sarcastically.

We both look at each other. Maybe Haymitch is right, we would look like we cannot take care of ourselves.

"Effie, if you like you can walk us to the elevator and make sure that our outfits are in order." She says.

She smiles and walks us to the elevator. She presses the button and when the elevator arrives we walk in. She presses the correct floor inspects our training outfit and walks out of the elevator. The door closes and for the first time since yesterday, it is just me and her.

I grab her hand and she doesn't pull away. Step one, stay in love, check. At least we have that down pack, the only couple in love that doesn't talk to each other.

We arrive to the gymnasium and find that we are early. Only Brutus and Enobaria are there. Both of them from District Two, they are older than us and no greetings or pleasantries are given. I can just picture them, Cato and Clove, both with the same eyes. No doubt they are looking at us for revenge, although I am not sure, I can assume that they might have been their mentors back in our Games. We both sit on the steps and just wait for the training to begin.

It isn't until ten o'clock where half of the Victors show up for training. Atala, starts promptly at that time. She does the same speech she did back in our Games. She emphasizes that we are not allowed to have physical interactions with each other until the Games begin.

"I think we would do better at seeing who are our allies if we split up," she says.

"Agreed," I tell her and walk away.

I see that at the spear station is Brutus and Chaff.

Brutus grabs a spear and throws it at the hanging dummy. Its force is so much that the thump of the spears echoes.

"Beat that," he tells Chaff.

"Would you prefer eyes open or closed?" He retorts.

Chaff approaches the same line where Brutus let his spear go and then takes a couple more steps back. He takes a moment and from standing still position throws it to the same dummy. The same loud thump echoes throughout the place.

They both look at me, and cross their arms, waiting to see if I could go ahead and try.

I walk over to the spears and grab one in my hands. I did spend a good amount of time in spears in the last Games. I get to the same line as Chaff.

"Sure you don't need to go a little closer. Don't think you will make that distance," Brutus says with smugness.

I feel the heavy spear in my hand, and take a breath. I aim for the same dummy and with all of my force I let it fly. The spear cuts through the air and thumps the dummy with a force that the rope breaks and falls to the ground.

They look at each other. Chaff then look at me and give me an approving nod. Brutus however just gives a laugh and grabs another spear.

"Anyone can hit a dummy that is just standing still," he says. "Make sure to keep moving there Twelve. In fact how about you get moving now, don't want you to get hurt."

"You do the same," I say walking towards him.

Chaff walks in between us and moves me to the next station. It is odd but I have seen this same thing in our previous Games, when the boy from District 8 and Cato got into it because of missing knife. Guess it is something that he got from Brutus. It is to see who would stand up when threatened.

I walk over to the knife throwing station. Finally something that I had been practicing in District Twelve before the Games, something that I am somewhat good in. We would throw knifes at the side of a barn. Katniss of course was the best out of all three of us, but at the end I had made some progress. I pick up the knife and begin to throw at some targets. Nowhere near accurate as Clove but I can at least hit the target.

"You are certainly full of surprises," I hear behind me. That same sultry voice begging for me to turn around, but of course I would not give her the satisfaction.

"Still trying to make an impression Johanna?" I ask. "I never did picture you as one who needed attention."

I throw another knife and hit the bull's eye.

"Where is your little woman?" she says.

I turn and look around for her, and see her talking to the two from District Three. I point her out with my knife. They are in the fire starting station. I walk right next to Johanna and say,

"Isn't she just amazing?" I say. "Every day I am just captivated by her."

She looks at me, and I look at her, and smile. You are not going to get in Johanna.

"Well she can talk to 'nuts' and 'volts' all she wants," she says clearly rattled. "It is funny how she would pick the ones that are the least likely to win." She says as she walks away going to wrestle in the nude.

After about thirty minutes or so, I walk over to the sword station. There are probably about ten Victors fighting with a Capitol attendant. They take turns taking time on how long it would take to reach a death blow, but of course stopping. It is a game to them that is what they do to pass the time, not to better themselves but to see who can do it better or faster. They add variations to the game, some fight with one hand and others with their "weak hand," but who really knows if that hand is there weak hand. It is finally my turn to get a sword and either impress or not, and as I am about to begin, the bell dings. Lunch time.

We all walk back to the dining room. Each of them begins to move the tables together so that we can all eat together. Katniss is in line getting food when I finally reach her.

"How's it going?" I ask.

"Good. Fine. I like the District Three victors," she says. "Wiress and Beetee."

"Really?" I ask. "They're something of a joke to the others."

"Why does that not surprise me?" she says. She seems agitated, could it be because I was hanging around the others and it reminds her of our Games and the careers?

"Johanna's nicknamed them Nuts and Volts," I say. "I think she's Nuts, and he's Volts."

"And so I'm stupid for thinking they might be useful. Because of something Johanna Mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling," she angrily replies.

"Actually, I think the nickname's been around for years. And I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just sharing information," I say.

"Well, Wiress and Beetee are smart. They invent things. They could tell by sight that a force field had been put up between us and the Gamemakers. And if we have to have allies, I want them." She says tossing the ladle back into the stew splashing me with gravy.

"What are you so angry about?" I say wiping my shirt. "Because I teased you on the elevator? I'm sorry. I thought you would just laugh about it."

"Forget it," she says shaking her head. "It's a lot of things."

"Darius," I say knowing full well she is still being affected by it because I am still being affected by it.

"Darius. The Games. Haymitch making us team up with others," she says.

"It can just be you and me, you know." I say grabbing her hand.

"I know. But maybe Haymitch is right," She say. "Don't tell him I said so, but he usually is, where the Games are concerned."

"Well, you can have final say about our allies. But right now, I'm leaning toward Chaff and Seeder," I say.

"I'm okay with Seeder, not Chaff," she says. "Not yet, anyway."

"Come on and eat with him. I promise, I won't let him kiss you again," I say, tugging her hand to the table.

She joins me and Chaff. He is a good person; well at least I like to think so. I think this might have been how Haymitch would be if he was sober. He is funny and always listens to people when they talk. Katniss even joins into the conversation. After lunch we go back to training and find that the ice has been broken. Although we know that when the Games start we are to kill each other, but today we are just a couple of Victors just competing with each other.

After a while of different training, I see Katniss approaching the archery station. The trainer, Tax, notices of who is approaching and he grabs some fake birds for Katniss to hit. She smiles and prepares herself. He throws one up in the air and Katniss quickly brings it down. He then throws two and easily she brings them down. Grabs three and four and still she knocks them down. She is amazing the precision she has and the ability she has to quickly shoot the arrows. Slowly everyone begins to stop what they are doing and turn and watch her.

The trainer throws four at different times and still she knocks them down. Finally he grabs five fake birds and quickly throws them in different direction and like if on cue, she quickly draws one arrow and it flies and hits its target. Before my head can turn back the second arrow is already flying and hitting its mark. The third arrow sound is heard quickly after. Arrow four coming flying with a sound and the fifth arrow finally hits it mark. All five fake birds hit the floor and everyone is looking as the sound echoes.

She turns around and everyone is just looking at her, whispering to each other. Just like that she has stolen the show. Till this day she still doesn't know the affect she has on people.

She places the bow on it stand and walks towards me. Training had ended and she sure knows how to end it. She grabs my hand and I kiss her on her cheek.

"Had a good day in archery?" I ask.

She smiles and we go into the elevator. As soon as we reach our floor, we see that neither Effie nor Haymitch are there.

"Want to sit?" I ask.

She follows me to the sitting area. We both sit down and finally I am able to talk to her.

"Katniss, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I know that I shouldn't have laughed." I say not looking in her eyes.

"No, I am sorry for snapping back at you, it is hard being here." She says.

I grab her hand, and she looks at me.

"It is okay. I am here for you, if you ever want to talk." I say.

She smiles and places her head on my shoulder. We sit there in silence for a little bit. Just the kind of memory I wanted to have. Just then Haymitch and Effie both walk in, and Haymitch sits down in front of us.

"So at least half of the victors have instructed their mentors to request you as an ally. I know it can't be your sunny personality." He says without even a hello.

"They saw her shoot," I say to him smiling. "Actually, I saw her shoot, for real, for the first time. I'm about to put in a formal request myself."

"You're that good?" Haymitch says. "So good that Brutus wants you?"

She shrugs and says "but I don't want Brutus. I want Mags and District Three."

"Of course you do," Haymitch says. "Attendant a bottle of wine please."

"I'll tell everybody you're still making up your mind." He continues.

The next couple of days go without incident. People are nicer to us because they have come to respect us as part of them. Probably before they thought it was a fluke that we won, but now we have been accepted into their inner circle. I don't know if that is such a good thing, after all they have to die for her to live.

It is the night of the second day of training and we spend it upstairs in our garden. We have become close again, like we were before in the Victory Tour. We even continue our game of learning one new thing every day about each other.

"If you could live anywhere, where would you live?" I ask her.

She looks at me and places her finger on her face as to make the face that she is thinking hard.

"Anywhere?" she asks.

"Yes, anywhere." I say.

"Well there is a lake outside of Twelve. It is a long trek to get to. My father would take me there when I was young. It was peaceful and there is a little house there. If I could pick any place to live that would be the place." She says.

"I really wished I could have seen it." I say knowing full well that I would never get to.

She holds my hand and says,

"Close your eyes,"

I close my eyes, and she starts to describe it in the most vivid detail. My mind starts to paint the scene of the clear blue water. The tree with the tire swing on it. The little house with no windows and a fireplace, it isn't much but it is a lovely place.

"Can you see it?" she asks.

"Yes, I can. The water, is it refreshing to swim?" I ask.

"Yes," she says as I open my eyes. "So there, you have been there at least once."

"I will be there again tonight; probably I will see you there." I say smiling.

She smiles and we just sit there, enjoying the day ending.

"Do you know what you will do tomorrow?" she asks.

"That is tomorrow, let's just enjoy today, okay?" I say grabbing her hand and watching the sun finally set. Tomorrow will be our private sessions with the Gamemakers.

We both sleep in and finally get up and go down to the lunch room.

"Surprise them, if you can." Haymitch tells us as we go down in the elevator.

We sit there and watch as some of the Victors actually come to private session and others like Mags decides not to come and just take a nap instead.

Us being from District Twelve we are last again. We are left there looking at each other. I reach across the table and take her hand.

"Decided what to do for the Gamemakers yet?" I ask.

She shakes her head.

"I can't really use them for target practice this year, with the force field up and all. Maybe make some fishhooks. What about you?" She asks.

"Not a clue. I keep wishing I could bake a cake or something," I say.

"Do some more camouflage," she suggests.

"If the morphlings have left me anything to work with," I say about the two from District Six because of their addiction to the pain medication morphling. "They've been glued to that station since training started."

After a while we just look at each other and finally Katniss finally blurts out.

"How are we going to kill these people, Peeta?" she says.

"I don't know." I say leaning forward exhausted trying to maintain myself from thinking of this.

"I don't want them as allies. Why did Haymitch want us to get to know them?" she says. "It'll make it so much harder that last time. Except for Rue maybe. But I guess I never could've killed her, anyway. She was too much like Prim."

I look up at her, and I can still see the pain in her eyes when she talks about Rue. It is like seeing her sister die right before her eyes.

"Her death was the most despicable, wasn't it?" I ask.

"None of them were very pretty," she says.

Just then, a Capitol attendant calls my name and we let go of each other's hands.

Walking towards the training area, I can still see the pain and the damage the death of Rue have left Katniss. These people, these Gamemakers kill us and we have to stand there and suffer through the nightmares of it.

I walk in, and see that they are not as cheerful as they were before. I introduce myself and know that what to do. I walk over to the dyes of the camouflage station. That is just great just enough to get what I want done, I think to myself.

I begin to dump paint on the floor and swirl colors here and there. Remembering from the description and memories, the browns and the white, the greens and the yellows, with my finger I move it here and there. I fray this area and shade this other with a darker brown or a lighter one.

When I am done finally, I stand back and look at it, to see if I captured the right moment. I look at it, and know this will be my moment to make a statement.

I step away and can begin to see the horror in the eyes of the Gamemakers. There in the ground painted with the colors they wanted me to use for camouflage is a picture of a little girl covered in flowers. Her peaceful face with her eyes closed from death. There in the floor is a picture of the death of Rue.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Satisfaction is the first emotion I have from the reaction I now see. It is the first time though that I am okay with people hating a painting that I have done. I finally grab a can of red dye and lift it up to them as a cup.

"Here is to the Gamemakers," I say saluting them before dropping the paint on the ground next to the painting of Rue.

I have the attention of not one or two Gamemakers but the attention of all of them. They look at me in silence. If they are going to punish anyone, the red mark is now on me and off Katniss.

"Mr. Mellark," Plutarch Heavensbee starts. "Thank you for your time. You may go now."

I walk away and reach the elevator before turning back. The whispering among them is apparent however cannot hear what they are saying.

I reach our floor and find that no one is there. Katniss is about to begin her private session and I wonder what she would do. With no one in our floor, I decide to go upstairs to the roof. The air is much cooler and refreshing that the wind chimes take me to the lake and the little house.

After a while I was downstairs and take a shower to clean off all the dye from my hands. I can still hear it though in the back of my mind, the wind chimes by the lake. I would definitely have to ask her if the house has wind chimes or not.

Dinner time comes and I walk to the dining room. Once we are all seated and the soup is served Haymitch asks the question

"All right, so how did your private sessions go?"

I look at Katniss and she looks at me.

"You first," she says. "It must have been really special. I had to wait for forty minutes to go in."

"Well, I – I did the camouflage thing, like you suggested, Katniss." I say. Well it wasn't really camouflage, and sooner or later I would have to at least tell her.

"Not exactly camouflage. I mean, I used the dyes." I say.

"To do what?" Portia asks.

After about a couple of minutes Katniss chimes in

"You painted something, didn't you? A picture." She says.

"Did you see it?" I ask.

"No. But they'd made a real point of covering it up," she says.

"Well, that would be standard. They can't let one tribute know what another did," says Effie. "What did you paint, Peeta? Was it a picture of Katniss?"

"Why would he paint a picture of me, Effie?" Katniss asks.

"To show he's going to do everything he can to defend you. That's what everyone in the Capitol's expecting, anyway. Didn't he volunteer to go in with you?" Effie asks.

"Actually, I painted a picture of Rue," I say. "How she looked after Katniss had covered her in flowers."

Everyone just sits there silent. That is until Haymitch asks the obvious.

"And what exactly were you trying to accomplish?"

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to hold them accountable, if only for a moment, for killing that little girl." I say.

"This is dreadful." Effie says. "That sort of thinking … it's forbidden, Peeta. Absolutely. You'll only bring down more trouble on yourself and Katniss."

It may have the wrong thing to do in the eyes of everyone here but someone had to say it. Someone had to bring it to their minds. We are treated like we do not exist and that what they make us do they have no accountability for it. If I am going to perish in the Games, at least I want them to know that it is because of them, and not because someone killed me.

"I have to agree with Effie on this one," says Haymitch.

Yeah you would agree old man, but if Katniss did it, then it would be a great move. I am expected to just follow the current and do what I am told. This is what I felt was right.

Katniss looks at me and says to the group,

"I guess this is a bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's name on it," she says.

"You …hung…Seneca Crane?" Cinna says.

"Yes. I was showing off my new knot-tying skills, and he somehow ended up at the end of the noose," she says.

"Oh, Katniss," Effie says. "How do you even know about that?"

"Is it a secret? President Snow didn't act like it was. In fact, he seemed eager for me to know," she says.

Effie obviously affected by it, gets up excuses herself and leaves the table.

"Now I've upset Effie. I should have lied and said I shot some arrows." She says.

"You'd have thought we planned it," I say.

"Didn't you?" Portia asks.

"No," she says. "Neither of us even knew what we were going to do before we went in."

"And, Haymitch?" I say grabbing his attention. "We decided we don't want any other allies in the arena."

"Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity," he says upset.

"That's just what we were thinking," Katniss shoots back.

No one talks for the rest of meal and Effie doesn't even come back to the table. As we finish the meal, we all rise to go to the sitting room to watch the scores.

We gather around the television and Effie joins us, sniffing from the crying. We watch the different District results before Katniss asks.

"Have they ever given a zero?" she asks.

"No, but there's a first time for everything," Cinna response.

Our District comes up and we are left speechless when they see my name flash with a Twelve next to it. I look to Katniss confused and that is when I see her name and the Twelve next to it as well.

"Why did they do that?" She asks me.

"So that the others will have o choice but to target you," Haymitch says. "Go to bed. I can't stand to look at either one of you."

We both get up and we walk to our rooms. As I am about to say goodnight, Katniss just wraps her arms around me and rest her head against my chest. Her warm body so inviting and so needed. She is the one who steadies my heart. To be honest after the whole private lessons my heart was racing on what may happen to her.

Not now, not at this moment. My heart steadies and I am reminded of the night in the train before we came to the Capitol. I slide my hands up her back and lean my face against her head.

"I'm sorry if I made things worse," she says.

"No worse than I did. Why did you do it, anyway?" I ask.

"I don't know. To show them that I'm more than just a piece in their Games?" she says.

I laugh a little and think about our last Games. It was the exact same thing I told her.

"Me, too," I say. "And I'm not saying I'm not going to try. To get you home, I mean. But if I'm perfectly honest about it…"

No matter what we do, I know that if it were up to the Capitol and Snow we will die in the arena.

"If you're perfectly honest about it, you think President Snow has probably given them direct orders to make sure we die in the arena anyways," she say.

"It's crossed my mind," I say.

"But even if that happens, everyone will know we've gone out fighting right?" I say looking at her in her eyes.

"Everyone will," she says. "So what should we do with our last few days?"

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," I say.

"Come on, then," she says pulling me into her room. We lie down and hold each other, our arms embracing each other. For the first time in a long time we both look at each other as we fall asleep. I caress her cheek and she nuzzles my hand. I move in and kiss her lightly on the tip of her nose. She just smiles and closes her eyes.

The daylight warms my face; I open my eyes and see that she is looking at me. We had fallen asleep and kept ourselves in the same position the whole night.

"No nightmares," I say.

"No nightmares," she confirms. "You?"

"None. I'd forgotten what a real night's sleep feels like," I say.

We just lie there, looking at each other. I start to trace the outlines of her face with my finger tip. She closes her eyes and buries her face in the pillow stretching, before looking at me again.

Just then the door opens and I see an attendant with a tray. Katniss sits up and goes over to her. There is a note from Effie.

"Given your recent tour, Haymitch and I have agreed that you both can handle yourselves adequately in public. Therefore today's coaching sessions have been canceled. Enjoy the day."

"Really?" I say shooting right up with a smile and reading over the note. "Do you know what this means? We'll have the whole day to ourselves."

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere," she says sighing.

"Who says we can't?" I ask.

I walk over to the monitor and begin to order food.

"Grab some blankets and come on let me take you on a picnic," I say.

She smiles and runs to the closet to grab the blankets. I run to my room and grab my sketch book. We both run upstairs with the food and our blankets. I lay the blankets in our garden under the trees with the wind chimes. Seems appropriate I think, almost like our last memory of happiness should be in a place where we have spent the most time.

"This is how I pictured it," I say.

"What?" she asks.

"What it would be like to be with you," I say.

We just lay there looking up at the clouds.

"That one over there," she says pointing at a cloud "looks like a turtle hiding,"

"So a big rock?" I say laughing.

She laughs and looks at me, "aren't you the one with the imagination? Can't you see the turtle?"

"Oh you mean that one?" I say pointing at a different one.

"No, not that one. That one is a ball." She says laughing. "That one," she says grabbing my hand and pointing it in the direction.

My finger intertwines with hers. She doesn't move it away but says, "if I didn't know any better you just tricked me into holding your hand."

"Who me?" I say. "Would never do such a thing."

I grab my sketch book and started to sketch her.

"You and your sketches," she says covering her face.

"Come on, I love sketching you." I say. "You mother grab the other one I had done when you were sleeping."

"You lie," she says. "she never told me anything."

"Well it was one of those days when you were recovering from your slip was it?" I say knowing that she was lying back then. "Well you had just fallen asleep because you were tired and you just looked so peaceful that I thought that I wanted to have a picture of you like this."

She begins to blush and I smile knowing that this is the girl that I had fallen in love with.

"Well when I was done, you mother was just standing there at your doorway," I say. "She moves like you, I didn't hear her at all."

"Really?" she says surprised.

"Well she said something like, 'they grow up so fast' and I knew that something to remind her of you at that moment, so I gave her the sketch."

She leans in and kisses me on the cheek.

"Thank you for that," she says.

"No need, I love to sketch you and show others what I see." I say.

"And what do you see?" she says sitting up on her elbow.

"Hard to describe, but it is like if you could define a word that would encompass everything that is beautiful, it would come close to what I see." I say.

"Such a flirt," she says.

I smile and shake my head no. She grabs an apple and tosses it in the air. The apple zaps itself on the force field and falls back to the ground. I catch it as it falls to the ground. We start to play a game of throwing apples and catching them after it hits force field.

After a while we just sit there sometimes falling asleep and sometimes just talking about what life would be if the Games never happened. I stand and begin to collect lilies from the nearby garden. When I sit back on the ground I lean back on a tree and find that Katniss lays her head on my lap. I grab the little lilies and begin to place them in her hair. I start to play with her hair.

"And what are you doing up there?" She asks.

"I am practicing my knots with your hair," I say.

"Well make sure to unravel them after you are done, I don't want to walk around with knots and little flowers in my head." She says.

I just sit there and think to myself this has been a day that I could only dream of.

"What?" she asks.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," I say.

"Okay," she says.

I look down at her, wondering if I had heard right.

"Then you'll allow it?" I ask.

"I'll allow it," she says.

I smile and think this day could not get any better. I go back to playing with her hair and when I see she has fallen asleep. I continue to stroking her hair and just wish this day could last forever.

I look out and see that the sun is beginning to set. I gently shake her shoulders. She gets up and I tell her.

"I didn't think you'd want to miss it,"

"Thanks," she says.

Our hands together we watch the sunset.

"Weird that no one has come to get us for dinner," she says.

"I'm glad. I'm tired of making everyone around me so miserable," I say. "Everybody crying. Or Haymitch…"

She gently rubs my hand and I know that this is not the time to come out of our little bubble. We have stayed so separate from everything that we don't want to talk about anything that would remind us of what is going to happen.

The stars begin to come out before she gets up and takes me by the hand downstairs to her room. We hold each other and fall asleep, peacefully dreaming of nothing, and having no nightmares.

That is until I hear a faint crying. I open my eyes expecting to see Katniss crying only to see Katniss's prep team there. We are both up and hear that one of the persons says to Katniss.

"You remember what Cinna told us," she says and the other one walks out crying.

I hold her hand and tell her that I need to go and get ready. She nods and smiles as we part.

I walk in only to find my prep team crying.

"They told us that they found you sleeping next to Katniss," one of them says.

"I am sorry," I say. "I didn't mean for you to feel horrible."

Portia then walks in and shoo them away. She walks over to me apologizes for them and as she hold my hands I feel the locket.

I open my hands and see that the locket is back in my hands.

"Where you able to?" I begin.

She nods and I smile. I open the locket and find that the pictures are perfect and feel that it will do the job.

She grabs a garment bag and opens it. Inside is a fancy tuxedo with white gloves.

"Am I going to be serving dinner?" I say jokingly.

"Peeta, I have to warn you about something," she says.

"What?" I ask.

"President Snow has ordered Cinna and therefore Katniss to wear the wedding dress tonight." She says.

"Oh," I say. "The last offense, I guess it was bound to happen sooner than later."

I grab the locket and place it in my pant pocket. I walk out and see her. Every day I can say that beauty is a word that doesn't measure up to her. I push back the tears in my eyes. Knowing that we would never get the chance to be together, and we would never know true happiness.

She grabs my hand, and I grab hers. Effie starts to sob and we end up consoling her.

We walk into the elevator and when we arrive everyone begins to whisper in disgust at the dress that Katniss is wearing.

Finnick comes and finally says

"I can't believe Cinna put you in that thing."

"He didn't have any choice. President Snow made him," she says defending him.

"Well, you look ridiculous!" Cashmere says before grabbing her brother's hand.

All of the tributes are looking at Katniss but they are angry, not at her but at the fact that she was force to wear the wedding dress. Even Johanna comes up and straightens her pearl necklace before she says.

"Make him pay for it, okay?" she says.

She nods and we walk on stage. Caesar Flickerman begins to interview each of the Victors and can see that all of them are against this Quarter Quell although no one comes outright and say it.

By the time Katniss is called, everyone has been weeping and crying out for change. Everyone begins to roar at the sight of Katniss's dress. Not in acceptance but in disgust. The crowd wouldn't even let Katniss speak for the beginning part, until finally Caesar gains control of the crowd.

"So, Katniss, obviously this is a very emotional night for everyone. Is there anything you'd like to say?"

"Only that I'm so sorry you won't get to be at my wedding…but I'm glad you at least get to see me in my dress. Isn't it just …the most beautiful thing?" She says.

She stands and begins to twirl slowly and all of the sudden smoke begins to ignite at the base of the dress. It isn't working, whatever Cinna did it malfunctioned and she is going to be burned alive. I get up and am about to run to her when the flame completely engulfs her, pieces of the dress fall to the ground and the pearls just clatter as they fall.

The flames finally consume it all and I am fearful that she would be naked on stage. I begin to take off my jacket when I see that she is not naked, but in another dress hidden below the wedding dress. It is made of tiny feathers. Its color is of coal and her arms have hints of white on the sleeves. Cinna has made her into a mockingjay.

The crowd doesn't know if it to cheer or to shout, so they do what they could only do they keep silent.

"Feathers," says Caesar. "You're like a bird."

"A mockingjay, I think," she says. "It's the bird on the pin I wear as a token."

"Well, hats off to your stylist. I don't think anyone can argue that that's not the most spectacular thing we've ever seen in an interview. Cinna, I think you better take a bow!" Caesar says.

In the crowd I see Cinna stand and take a small bow.

Finally the crowd erupts in cheer and then the buzzer goes off.

As I get up to walk towards the chair, I see her coming towards me. My hands in my pocket and I can feel the smooth locket. I just look straight forward knowing what I have to do.

I think about the thing opportunities I have had in life. The things that were given to me and the things I have had to fight for. I am looking at a man and speaking but my mind is somewhere else.

"Make sure to have your fire extinguisher ready," I say.

"Really?" he says eyes open wide.

"No, no, well I don't think. Our stylist likes to make an impression." I say laughing. "Don't think that my stylist would like me as an overcooked turkey."

He laughs and makes an attempt to go into something of substance.

"So, Peeta, what was it like when, after all you've been through, you found out about the Quell?" he asks.

"I was in shock. I mean, one minute I'm seeing Katniss looking so beautiful in all these wedding gowns, and next…" I begin to say.

The pain of the memory begins to flash before my eyes. It is one thing to play the audience and to manipulate the crowd but it is another thing when the memory is real. I can still remember seeing how beautiful she looked on television in those dresses. It wasn't my wedding I was seeing, it was the wedding that she had always wanted and now she would never get that chance.

"You realized there was never going to be a wedding?" he says grabbing my arm.

It has come full circle. All fun and games until your heart is involved. My hand still in my pocket and I can still feel the smooth finish of it. Her family on one side and the person she wished she married on the other. There is only one way to win this, and to use the crowd, but I wonder would she approve of it. There is only one way to find out.

"Caesar, do you think all our friends here can keep a secret?" I say.

"I feel quite certain of it," says Caesar.

I take a breath and say it.

"We're already married," I say whispering.

Everyone lets out a gasp.

"But…how can that be?" he asks.

"Oh, it's not an official marriage. We didn't go to the Justice Building or anything. But we have this marriage ritual in District Twelve. I don't know what it's like in the other districts. But there's this thing we do," I say. "We basically grab each others hand and bake bread in a hearth. When the bread is lightly toasted we remove it still holding the bread and feed it to each other. It is about the things we do in a marriage is together and this reminds us that together we can make anything. Even through the fire, we can survive."

"Were your families there?" he asks.

"No, we didn't tell anyone. Not even Haymitch. And Katniss's mother would never have approved. But you see, we knew if we were married in the Capitol, there wouldn't be a toasting. And neither of us really wanted to wait any longer. So one day, we just did it." I say. "And to us, we're more married than any piece of paper or big party could make us."

"So this was before the Quell?" asks Caesar.

"Of course this was before the Quell. I'm sure we'd never have done it after we knew." I say raising my voice. "But who could've seen it coming? No one. We went through the Games, we were victors, everyone seemed so thrilled to see us together, and then out of nowhere – I mean, how could we anticipate a thing like that?"

"You couldn't Peeta," Caesar says as he puts his arm around me. "As you say, no one could've. But I have to confess. I'm glad you two had at least a few months of happiness together."

It isn't enough. The marriage announcement isn't enough. What can I do? They are applauding and saying goodbye. There is no outrage; there is no desire to help. What can I do, how can I fix this?

"I'm not glad," I say. "I wish we had waited until the whole thing was done officially."

Caesar looks at me shocked. "Surely even a brief time is better than no time?"

"Maybe I'd think that too, Caesar," I say. "if it weren't for the baby."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

I look down and stare at the ground; slowly it begins to sink in to everyone in the crowd. The whispers begin to rise and then there are shouts and calls for an end to the Games. Even the most diehard loyalist to the Capitol is shouting.

Their shouts begin to combine until all I hear is a loud sound. I see the red light that shows me that my time is up. I get up from my seat and walk back to my chair. My hand immediately reaches for hers and we find each other. It is in this second that I fully understand him. Every year my father would pace back and forth. I knew it was because he was worried but now it is like I feel what he felt. The only thing that my father worried about is that his sons would die in the arena, and now I understand it even though it is not the truth. The idea of my child having to go through it and me not being able to fix it, or change it, it terrifies me. All the children that they stole, all the dreams that they ripped out of the hands of their parents, all for their enjoyment, it is all for them. It is now that they fully understand that it is not something you do. The tears run down my face and I just let it. There is no covering this, there is no appearing strong for the cameras, we hide everything to mask a personality that is not our own.

I look to her eyes and find that her other hand has reached out to Chaff and by the time the anthem has ended, all twenty four Victors are holding hands in a sign of unity. This is a dangerous sight, it hasn't happened since the Dark Days, where all the representation of the Districts is united behind an idea.

The whole set goes dark and we are left to fumble through the dark. I make sure to hold tightly Katniss's hand and guide her to the elevator. I hear the scrambling of the peacekeepers on the radios. The panic in the voice of the people and I know that it will only get worst. I feel my way through the wall to the lobby of the Training Center. We get into the elevator and have only seconds as the elevator shoots straight into the sky away from harm away from danger. The doors open and as soon as we are on the floor, I grab her by the shoulders so that she stares right into my eyes.

"There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" I say.

"Nothing," she says.

We wait for the rest of our team to come upstairs. The elevator bell dings and we both turn around and brace ourselves for what is coming. It is weird, that when the door opens though only Haymitch steps through.

"It's madness out there. Everyone's been sent home and they've canceled the recap of the interviews on television." He says.

We both hurry to the window to see the chaos that we have started.

"What are they saying?" I ask. "Are they asking the president to stop the Games?"

"I don't think they know themselves what to ask. The whole situation is unprecedented. Even the idea of opposing the Capitol's agenda is a source of confusion for the people here," Haymitch says. "But there's no way Snow would cancel the Games. You know that, right?"

We both know that it was a long shot and more than likely wouldn't work, but I had to try at least for her.

"The other's went home?" She asks.

"They were ordered to. I don't know how much luck they're having getting through the mob," Haymitch says.

"Then we'll never see Effie again," I say. "You'll give her our thanks."

"More than that. Really make it special. It's Effie, after all." She says. "Tell her how appreciative we are and how she was the best escort ever and tell her…tell her we send our love."

We stand there knowing full well that this is the last time we will see Haymitch. The old man has really helped us through it all. He may have been rude and unbearable at times, but he always had our interest, he always protected us. Now it is time for him to protect her.

I look at him straight in his eyes. He looks to me with those blood shot eyes, and nods. We have come to an understanding. He will save her.

"I guess this is where we say our good-byes as well." He says.

"Any last words of advice?" I ask.

"Stay alive," he says. He quickly embraces each of us and then tells us to go to bed.

"You take care, Haymitch," I say.

As we walk away back to our rooms. I hear Haymitch call out to Katniss.

"Katniss, when you're in the arena," he begins and trying to word it right.

"What?" Katniss retorts.

"You remember who the enemy is," he says. "That's all. Now go on. Get out of here."

She turns and we begin to walk.

"I am going to go in and take this makeup off. Meet you in your room in about fifteen minutes?" I ask.

"No, you can take the makeup off in my room. If you go into your room I think you won't be able to come back out, until morning." She says.

"You really think so?" I ask her.

She nods and I agree. We walk together to her room and as the door closes. Even inside she refuses to let go of my hand.

I kiss it and tell her, "will need it for a little bit, but I promise you that you can have it back when I am done taking off the makeup."

She nods and let's goes of my hand. You can tell that she is scared as she wraps her hands around her body.

I walk to the bathroom and begin to remove the makeup from my face. I look up from the sink and find that she is there in the doorway of the bathroom looking at me resting on the edge. She had removed the feather costume and is now in an oversized t-shirt. I remove the tuxedo and am left in my undershirt and shorts.

After I turn off the water, I grab a towel and dry off my face. I turn to her and offer my hand again.

"See there it is again," I say and smile.

She smiles and accepts it again. I look at her and see her innocence.

"Nice shirt, by the way," I say. "Seems familiar, can't quite put my finger on it."

Oddly enough my undershirts have been going missing and when I asked Portia she just smiled and said that she would investigate where they were going. Something about women sticking together, I should remind myself to let Portia know where they have been ending up.

"Sorry," she says, and can see her face is blushing.

"I think it looks better -on you than on me," I say.

We walk back hand in hand to her bed, the moonlight on the soft bed sheets; this may well be the last time I get to hold her. I stop her and she spins around and I just hold, under the moonlight. She lets out a deep breath and finally I have her in my arms just for this one night. I kiss her on her forehead; she smiles and kisses me on my cheek.

She breaks away from me and tugs me to her bed. She asks me to hold her as she sleeps, knowing full well that neither of us would be able to sleep. We just lay there holding each other, and sometimes I see that she falls asleep, which is when I do. It is on and off for the entire night. Not because of nightmares but because of not being able to shut off our minds to what is going to happen tomorrow.

The sun light is finally coming through when I get up. I walk over to the tuxedo pants and go through the pockets. The locket is now in my hands; I look at it and think such an odd token. I place it around my neck when I hear her begin to move. She sits up and we just look at each other.

"They will be here soon. Have to go and get ready," I say.

Last year, Portia and Cinna both came to get us at dawn so this time around I want to be ready.

The door opens and I see them coming off the elevator. I feel her hand grabbing mines. I look back and there in the doorway of her room our lips met. This time it wasn't for any cameras or for anyone else. It was just for us.

"See you soon," I say.

"See you soon," she says.

I walk towards Portia and up the stairs to the roof. The hovercraft is already waiting for us to take us to the Games. I grab the ladder and the electrical current freezes me on the ladder. The ladder lifts and the doctors inject me with the tracker before the current goes out.

Portia asks me if I want something to eat along the way. I tell her that I can't, my stomach is all in knots. We just sit there and wait for the ride to be over. When we reach the Launch Room at the arena, I get ready. After showering, I find that the outfits of this year Games looks a little different. It is a blue jumpsuit with a purple belt. No boots this time, but instead they are nylon shoes with rubber soles.

"Interesting outfit, no?" I say looking to Portia.

"Yes, very." She says.

"What do you think?" I ask.

"Who knows, it looks like the material is too thin to protect against cold." She says.

"By the way, thank you again for the locket," I say to her.

"Your welcome, Peeta." She says fighting the tears.

I hold her and she begins to cry just a little.

"It is okay, I will be all right." I say.

"No you won't," she says. "You will die in whatever they have made for you. In you and Katniss a family will die, and I can't help but feel responsible."

"Well when you say it like that, I really want to go now," I say.

She laughs and we both just sit down and wait for the countdown to be said over the intercom.

"Do me a favor?" I ask her.

"Yes, anything." She says.

"Take the time and enjoy things, Portia, life is too short and our dreams should be enjoyed. Don't be in a hurry to get to the finish line, but enjoy the adventure getting there" I say. I can still remember from our talk in the Capitol about life in the Capitol. How everything is ever changing and no one really stops and enjoys things.

"Tributes please take your mark," an announcer says.

I walk over to the circle platform and see the tube slide over. We look at each other and a tear runs down my cheek. Out of all the people in the Capitol, she is the only one that I am glad I met. We have allowed each other to really know each other. We have gotten through the preconceptions of what Panem says about each other.

I am glad to have met her, she is one of the memories that I will treasure.

The platform begins to rise and I see her disappearing below. Just when we are about to be cut off, I mouth the words 'thank you.'

She nods and covers her mouth obviously holding the tears as she disappears. I stand and feel the water on my feet. The sunlight is blaring on my eyes causing me to be blinded like before. Everything begins to come in focus and I can see right off the bat that I am in trouble.

There is water everywhere.


	20. Chapter 20

PART III

"THE PEARL"

Chapter Twenty

Only a matter of seconds and I know that I am in trouble. The cool water laps on my feet inviting me in, although it may know that I don't know how to swim. I hear a muffle sound and it is Claudius Templesmith, the announcer. My main thought is if I can't get off this plate then how can I protect Katniss, how can I keep my promise. Panic begins to set in and I feel my heart begin to race.

My mind goes a hundred miles an hour trying to come up with a way off this plate. The only solution is to learn to swim in a couple of seconds. I look up at the clock in the sky and find that it is at thirty seconds and counting down. The pink sky is beautiful in its own right but my mind cannot stop from thinking of how to swim.

The Cornucopia is right in front of me probably about forty feet or so, and I scan the people that surround it. Where is she? I ask myself looking for her. Where is she? Focus, find her in the crowd. She must be on the other side of the horn.

The horn is in the center of and like spokes of a wheel they come out to meet the tributes. Probably I can walk on it but it is underwater and who knows if my balance is any good especially with this artificial leg. It looks like there are twelve spokes that are equal distance from each other. I look to my right and see that they have placed Cashmere. Great a Career to my right, must be part of President Snows plan to kill us quickly. I turn around and see nothing but water. So the idea is to force us to the Cornucopia.

The gong sounds and the most of the tributes just stand there unsure of what to do. I see them all swimming and jump down to the water and find that it is no good, my leg although strong is heavy and clauses me to immediately sink. Going under I struggle to keep my head above water. I start to choke on water and have to make it back to the plate.

I climb back onto the plate and stand looking around. She must have gotten out of there by now. I see Gloss running and diving back into the water with a silver arrow. The silver arrow. Only one person would grab a bow as their primary weapon, and I know that she at least can protect herself. Just then I see her running to the front of the horn. And I see Finnick run behind her. I yell out to let her know and find that she begins to remove her equipment and getting ready to jump into the water.

He taps her on her shoulder and she shakes her head no. Just then he taps her belly and finally she concedes.

He dives in and begins to swim towards me with Katniss covering him with her bow. Haymitch, definitely doesn't listen to what we say. It reminds me of what I told him.

"I don't care if she comes here asking that I be saved, you save her. You convince her or not, I don't care. I don't care what game you have to do to get her to believe it, but you save her."

I guess he is following through by getting us allies even though we didn't want any.

"All part of the plan to save her no?" Finnick says.

"Haymitch tell you the plan?" I ask.

"Yes don't think it includes you just standing there the whole time," he says.

I jump in and he grabs me, telling me not to fight the current but to let him guide me through the water. We reach the Cornucopia and she pulls me up. Out of all of the Victors I would have thought that Haymitch would have picked Chaff and Seeder, but I guess youth is better than experience.

"Hello, again," I say and kiss her. "We've got allies."

"Yes. Just as Haymitch intended," she answers.

"Remind me, did we make deals with anyone else?" I ask.

"Only Mags, I think." She says.

"Well, I can't leave Mags behind," Finnick interjects. "She's one of the few people who actually like me."

"I've got no problem with Mags," Katniss says. "Especially now that I see the arena. Her fishhooks are probably our best chance of getting a meal."

"Katniss wanted her on the first day," I say.

"Katniss has remarkably good judgment," Finnick say picking up Mags like she weighs nothing. I can only imagine how strong this guy really is. It's best to keep an eye on him.

Mags make a gesture to the belt and Finnick mentions that the belt is some sort of floatation device. I guess mines was broken that or a rock can't float, not even with a belt.

"Let's move, not good to be out in the open." She says.

She hands me a bow and a quiver of arrows. Not my choice of weapon but the knife she hands next is a better one. She is back in what she knows, and what she knows is how to hunt. She surveys the terrain and makes sure that no one is hiding in the nearby bushes.

I kneel down to tighten the strap on the leg. Last thing I need is this thing falling out and people having to wait for me. Being a burden to someone is never a good feeling and I for one plan on not becoming one. I grab a handful of sand in my hands. Reminds me of the time we saw the coast in District Four on our Victory Tour.

It had rained for days and although no one can erase the hardships of the district, the land is still beautiful. We had spent the morning in the Justice Building. District Four is somewhat of an odd District in Panem. It is a fishing district and well all you can see is the boats on the horizon.

I can still picture it in my mind, the little homes made of wood on posts. They do that for when the storms come the town doesn't flood. Everything is on stilts. Well at least the fishing portion of the town.

Up the way from the little island of the fishing village is the main square where the train station is and where the Justice Building overlooks the harbor. Instead of a dome, there is a light house that is on at night to tell the boats that are still out how to get back home.

"So when do we take a tour?" I ask Effie.

"Soon, after breakfast," she says.

The little area in the Justice Building where we have our meals is a little deck that overlooks the water. The hot sun makes the air feel heavy with moisture.

"Is it me or is it hot?" Katniss says yawning as she walks in, still in her sleepwear.

"Katniss, a lady doesn't come to a meal dress in clothes that she slept in." Effie corrects Katniss.

"Good thing she isn't a lady," Haymitch barks out.

Katniss gives Haymitch a scolding look and sits down to breakfast. The meal of course has the look of District Four all over. Only place I know where you can have lobster meat with eggs for breakfast instead of bacon.

We quickly eat, as both of us are eager to visit the only District that has a beach. We have only read of it in books, and have never actually felt sand. We keep our enthusiasm to a minimum but I can tell that Katniss is happy for a little bit to actually get to see the ocean.

Our guide gives us a walking tour of the Square. The little shops have two fronts on that faces the streets and the other that faces the harbor. They have a boardwalk. Many officials from the Capitol come to visit all the time and tour the little district. The square sits on the center of a half moon string of shops that embraces the harbor. We walk to the tip of the half moon where there are steps that lead down to the beach. I can still hear the wooden floor boards underneath our bare feet. It is the only place where it is acceptable to Effie for us to walk without shoes.

We hold hands as we walk down the steps hearing the plunk plunk plunk of our steps on the wood. The last wooden step we just stand there looking at the sand. It is white and almost looks like waves frozen in time. We both take and step and our feet just sink in the sand. The sensation is both funny like someone tickling you and comforting as someone embracing you. We both kneel to the ground and feel the sand through our fingers. That is where we both just look to each other, the sun's rays behind her, sunlight embracing her. She smiles and we lightly kiss. After all there was a camera crew following us.

I see now the same sensation of the sand between my hands. I look up and see her looking at me still poised with her bow and arrow. She loosens a little bit the string and gives me a half smile. It is only a second before she is back in hunter mode, but she knew exactly what I was remembering.

We start to walk towards the inside of the jungle. The trees are smooth with little leaves. Don't think we would sleep in the trees in these Games. The main thing is to get to higher ground and away from the Cornucopia. Finnick has Mags on his back so therefore he is in no condition to take point. Katniss positions herself to the rear as her arrows can fly straight and to the mark. Her ability to hear and sense danger is also something that we would need to bring up the rear. The only person left to lead is me. I whip out the long knife and say,

"I'll take the lead, you have my back?" I say looking to Katniss.

"Hmm," she says and nods.

The long blade on the knife comes in handy as I begin to cut a path. The loud crickets definitely put us on edge. Who knows what we will find inside? It is like the tall fields in the last Games where Thresh hid. This time it is us going into the unknown.

The terrain quickly begins to get steep and the vines and bushes becomes thick cause me to take extra swipes in order to cut down the path. We walk for about thirty to forty minutes or so, when I can hear Finnick breathing a little bit louder than the rest of us. He is after all carrying Mags on his back.

"Let's stop for a little bit just to catch our breath." I say. No one complains and we put down our weapons and gear.

"Going to take a look to see how far we have hiked," Katniss says and I can see her begin to climb the tree.

She gets to a high point in the tree and just looks back to where we came from. She covers her eyes from the hot sun and quickly surveys the terrain ahead and the terrain behind.

She begins to come down and I see Finnick slowly walk towards one of his trident. If I didn't know any better, it seems that he sense something just like I do.

"What's going on down there, Katniss? Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance of the Capitol?" Finnick says.

I see his hand begin to slide to a more offensive position. The light touches of Katniss's feet, one hand on the loaded bow her finger holding the arrow on the line.

"No," she says.

"No," Finnick repeats, "Because whatever happened in the past is in the past. And no one in this arena was a victor by chance." He looks at me for a moment. "Except maybe Peeta."

The tension is obvious and both are checking to see who would blink, who would make the first move. If Katniss makes the first move, we would lose all sympathy in the Capitol. Yes Finnick would be dead, but it would us against the rest. If Finnick make the first move, he knows that I would move in to protect her and probably end up dying in the process. Either way whoever goes first, it will end bad. Only one thing to do.

I walk slowly in between them, blocking both of their shots.

"So how many are dead?" I ask.

"Hard to say," she says coldly, obviously not happy. "At least six, I think. And they're still fighting."

"Let's keep moving. We need water." I say, expressing the importance of keeping ourselves hydrated.

"Better find some soon," says Finnick. "We need to be undercover when the others come hunting us tonight."

I see him lowering his hands to a more defensive stance. Looked over and see that Katniss straightens up and looks around. Great the moment has passed. Will have to keep my eyes on those two, or they might end up killing each other. Then where would I be, protecting Mags with a knife.

I pick up the pack and continue to climb the steep incline. We go another thirty minutes and I can feel the pack getting heavier and heavier. My breath from through my nose is now coming through my mouth taking time to try and catch my breath. If we do not find water soon, we will be in big trouble. The trees are coming to an end almost like we are reaching the top of a very high hill.

I hear Katniss say, "maybe we'll have better luck on the other side. Find a spring or something."

I turn around to acknowledge her plan and as I am taking a swing of the knife I see her eyes open wide. Her mouth opens to scream out something to me. I start to turn and then feel the electricity run through my body. It is much more violent that the current on the ladder of the hovercraft. I feel the thump of my body landing on the ground and then darkness.

Nothing, I see nothing but darkness.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty One

The thing is you really don't know you are dead until someone tells you. All I see is black and then just like that, I am staring at a winded Finnick and a hysterically crying Katniss in the jungle. Feels like someone slammed something on my chest and my whole body aches like I have been running full speed for three days.

"Careful," I say. "There's a force field up ahead."

She laughs but is still crying.

"Must be a lot stronger…than the one on …the Training Center roof," I say trying to get up. "I'm all right, though. Just a little shaken."

"You were dead! Your heart stopped!" she yells at me. Well at least I will know how she would act when I do die.

She places her hands to her mouth and continues to sob uncontrollably.

"Well, it seems to be working now," I say. "It's all right, Katniss."

I embrace her and she continues to cry on my shoulder. She is shaking so I bring her in closer.

"Ssssh," I whisper in her ear. I haven't seen her like this before, this unhinged. It could have been building all this time, the thought of dying has never really entered in my mind. The thought of her dying, I try to never think about but now that it may be something that I would have to come to terms with.

"Katniss?" I say on her shoulder, still holding her. I rub her back with my hands trying to console her.

"It's okay. It's just her hormones," says Finnick. "From the baby."

Wonder if he actually believes that. The tone in which he mentions the hormones it is like he knows it is a ploy only for the Capitol.

"No. It's not - "she begins to say before she starts another wave of hysterical crying.

"I am okay," I whisper to her. "I am still here."

This has the exact opposite affect and she begins to cry even more. Finally she starts to quiet down and I can feel she is taking deeper breathes.

Finnick asks me as I still hold her.

"How are you? Do you think you can move on?"

"No, he has to rest," Katniss says separating from me and looking at Finnick with accusatory eyes.

Mags grabs a handful of moss from the tree and hands it to Katniss. Interesting thing to note, the moss here can be used as a tissue.

She turns back to me still sitting on the ground. Something catches her eyes and she reaches out for the locket.

"Is this your token?" she asks.

"Yes. Do you mind that I used your mockingjay? I wanted us to match," I say.

"No, of course I don't mind," she says with a smile. She examines it, and it is like she is trying to place it from a memory. She recognizes it. Katniss's mother had given it to me telling me that it was Katniss's father old locket. One of the only things they found after the mining accident that took his life. Good thing that Finnick interrupts before I have to explain who gave it to me.

"So you want to make camp here, then?" Finnick asks.

"I don't think that's an option," I say. "Staying here. With no water. No protection. I feel all right really. If we could just go slowly."

"Slowly would be better than not at all," Finnick says helping me up to my feet.

I pat myself making sure that I still have all my fingers and well some of my toes. Yes it is still there, the metal extension of my missing leg. Just as we are about to get started again, Katniss volunteers to take the lead.

"Katniss, no," I begin to say before I am cut off by Finnick.

"No, let her do it. You knew that force field was there didn't you? Right at the last second? You started to give a warning."

She nods.

"How did you know?" he asks.

"I don't know. It's almost as if I could hear it. Listen." She says as she becomes still.

We all listen to hear if we can hear the same thing. Nothing but insects, and birds and the occasion wind.

"I don't hear anything," I say.

"Yes," she insist, "it's like when the fence around District Twelve is on, only much, much quieter."

We all listen intently trying to hear anything than the surrounding noise. I look at her and see that her eyes don't meet mines, she is lying, but I decide to play along.

"There!" she says. "Can't you hear it? It's coming from right where Peeta got shocked."

"I don't hear it, either," says Finnick. "But if you do, by all means, take the lead."

She looks at us confused. "That's weird," she turns her head from side to side. "I can only hear it out of my left ear."

"The ones the doctors reconstructed?" I ask.

"Yeah," she says, shrugging. "Maybe they did a better job than they thought. You know, sometimes I do hear funny things on that side. Things you wouldn't ordinarily think have a sound. Like insect wings. Or snow hitting the ground."

Mags walks by me and nudges Katniss. "You."

Finnick breaks off two branches from the tree and quickly fashions it into a cane, one for me and one for Mags, great now I am like an old man again. It reminds me of my trusty wood cane back in the stream in our old Games.

"Really I don't need it," I say.

"Just humor us," Finnick says.

We walk for a little bit and I can see that Katniss is tossing nuts to the left. Reminds me of the game we had with the apple. Mags is in front of me and is stooping down to pick up the nuts that are fried by the force field.

"Mags!" Katniss yells at her. "Spit it out. It could be poisonous."

She shakes her head no. Katniss looks back and I hear Finnick "I guess we'll find out."

We walk and it seems that Katniss's path is a curve one. The force field is actually pushing us around a path that is not random but deliberate. There are no signs of water anywhere which is not a good thing. We would not last no more than three days without water, so it would make for a very short Hunger Games,

Katniss looks back and finally realizing that we need to find water suggests a break.

"I need to get another look from above." She says.

From below I see Katniss shoot an arrow into the sky. There is a brief burst of light and then the arrow flies down to the jungle. She climbs down and gives us the bad news.

"The force field has us trapped in a circle. A dome, really. I don't know how high it goes. There's the Cornucopia, the sea and then the jungle all around. Very exact. Very symmetrical. And not very large," she says.

"Did you see any water?" Finnick asks.

"Only the saltwater where we started the Games," she says.

"There must be some other source," I say. "Or we'll all be dead in a matter of days."

"Well, the foliage is thick. Maybe there are ponds or springs somewhere," she says. "At any rate, there's no point in trying to find out what's over the edge of the hill, because the answer is nothing,"

"There must be drinkable water between the force field and the wheel," I say. "Let's move down to a lower level and see what we find."

We walk down which hurts more walking down the slope than it is walking up. We go for another fifteen twenty minutes before we turn and begin to walk parallel to force field. We walk for what I think is about an hour and a half before we finally stop too weak to continue.

"Good enough place as ever for a campsite," Finnick says. "We can use the force field as a weapon should we need to."

This reminds me of the last Quarter Quell and Haymitch using it as a weapon. Did Finnick see the games and therefore suggest it. He grabs long blades of grass and begins to weave it into mats. He places them on the ground.

I walk around and grab a couple branches full of nuts. Then one by one I toss it to the force field. It zaps it and the shells falls off. I place the cook pieces of nuts on a leaf.

Everyone is doing something, from Finnick creating an overhead enclosure made of grass blades, to me collecting food to eat, to Katniss guarding us all. We all look at each other and knowing full well that what we need is water, someone has to go and find a source.

"Finnick, why don't you stand guard and I'll hunt around some more for water," she says.

"Not the safest place to go by yourself, especially in your condition," Finnicks says.

"I agree remember the last time we did that, no mockingjays now to communicate with each other" I say.

"Don't worry, I won't go far." She promises.

"I'll go too," I say.

"No, I'm going to do some hunting if I can," she says.

I smile at her, knowing full well that my clumsy heavy feet would probably scare everything off and she and I know it.

"I won't be long." Katniss says.

She walks off into the jungle. I turn and keep a watch towards the location should I hear any noise I would be able to run towards her. This time however I know that I am not handling something poisonous like nightlock, it is something that we can all eat.

Just then, the cannon sounds and I quickly look towards the path Katniss took. Then another cannon fire, then another, they represent the number of dead tributes.

"Must be over," Finnick says somberly.

"Senseless." I say under my breath

We count eight cannons and know that somewhere, eight people have died. It still doesn't make any sense. How people could consider this entertainment. Everyone in the Capitol would be glued to their television where people in the Districts would either be rebelling against the Capitol or working for them.

After a couple of minutes I see Katniss stomping back to the camp site obviously disappointed.

"No, no water. It's out there, though. He knew where it was," she says holding up some rodent looking animal that she killed. "He'd been drinking recently when I shot him out of a tree, but I couldn't find his source. I swear, I covered every inch of ground in a thirty-yard radius."

"Can we eat him?" I ask.

"I don't know for sure. But his meat doesn't look that different from a squirrel's. He ought to be cooked…"

We all look at each other. Starting a fire is not something that we would want to do. Especially with the arena being so small there is a greater probability that we would attract other Victors.

"Instead of starting a fire, how about if we use the force field to cook it?" I suggest. "Here let me try something."

I grab my knife and cut a square piece of meat from the animal. I look around for a twig something long enough to skewer it with. "Ah!" I say as I find the perfect stick. I walk slowly to the force field the meat in front on a stick. As soon as the meat comes in contact with the force field it is instantly cooked.

I pick up the still hot piece of meat, and present it to the group. They all applaud me before they remember where we are.

"You would have to cut off the outside, but the inside is still good," I say, giving Katniss a piece.

She bites into it and chews for a little bit, before she gives a thumbs up. We get to work on cutting the rodent into little manageable bite sizes. After about a half hour we have cooked the entire thing.

Each of us has an equal share of rodent with nuts. It isn't a bad enough meal, but what I wouldn't get to have a meal from District Twelve. We eat until we have our fill. Sure would be nice to have a little water to wash it all down but we would have to do with what we can.

Finnick asks Katniss all sorts of questions about the rodent. How high was it? What was it doing? How long was it that she watched it before she killed it?

My eyes follow the sun as it begins to hides behind the horizon. We all know what is coming soon. Like on cue we all position ourselves and look up to the sky. I grab her hand and know what is coming. The one thing we all hate.

The seal of the Capitol is visible in the sky. The anthem begins and I look at her. She looks at me and painfully smiles.

District Five's male Victor is first. The sick looking man from District Six is next. Both Victors from Eight, Cecelia and Woof. Both Victors from Nine dead, the woman from Ten, and Seeder from Eleven.

Seeder from Eleven. This one would hurt her the most. I squeeze her hand. She looks at me. I kiss her on the cheek and whisper in her ear. "I am sorry about Seeder."

She nods and we just sit there silent. It is about remembering those who died, remembering our Victors. It is different this time around. It isn't children that we didn't know; it was the Victors of past Hunger Games. People that we have gotten to know the last couple of days. We may not have known their private life, but we got to know them the way they are.

The silver parachute slowly works its way down to the ground. It just sits there and no one reaches for it, just another tool to kill us with, or help us survive long enough to die later.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty Two

"Whose is it?" Katniss asks.

"No telling," says Finnick. "Why don't we let Peeta claim it, since he died today?"

I get up and grab the parachute. There is no container attached to it, just a small metal tube.

"What is it?" She asks.

It is a metal tube, tapered slightly at one end. What is it? Typically the gifts in the Capitol are for things we need. Whoever sent it to us, knows that we need it.

"Can you fish with it Mags?" She asks handing it to her. She stares at it, and shakes her head no. Katniss holds it up to the moon light and just stares at it. Finally after a couple of minutes she gives up with a grunt of frustration.

I massage her shoulders tensed with frustration. Fate has brought us together, and now this smooth metal thing is suppose to help us and well no one can figure out what it is.

"A spile!" she says shooting straight up.

"What?" Finnick asks.

"It's a spile. Sort of like a faucet. You put it in a tree and sap comes out." She says looking at the surrounding trees. "Well, the right sort of tree."

"Sap?" asks Finnick.

"To make syrup," I say. "But there must be something else inside these trees."

It hits all of us like a bolt of lightning, what is it that we need the most? Inside these trees is water, which we desperately need. Everyone crowds the tree where Finnick is about to bang in the spile with a rock.

"Wait. You might damage it. We need to drill a hole first," she says.

We look around to see what can use for a drill. All of the sudden Mags lift up her awl. This might work, I think to myself. I grab it and drive it straight into the bark. We take turns me and Finnick making a hole that would fit the spile with our knives. Katniss approaches the hotel and after a couple of tries it produces a slow stream of water.

Mags grabs a bowl she made out of grass blades and fills it up. We take turns drinking water until each of us is satisfied. She sits and lets out a tired sigh of relief.

We start to get everything ready for the night. Typically that would mean pack everything up and have it ready just in case we have to run. This time around there is nothing to pack up just the weapons. I place the long knife in my belt. Katniss removes the spile from the tree and places it on her belt.

"I will take the first watch," Finnick says.

"Okay, wake me up when you are tired," I say.

We both lie down on the grass matt, and she grabs my arm and covers herself with it. She kisses my hand and I kiss her shoulder before we both fall asleep.

It feels like we are back in the Training Center, sleeping together even though Mags and Finnick are in the group. It feels safe.

That moment seems to pass as Katniss shakes me violently. Confusion and fear are two things that quickly entered my mind as she grabs me and lifts me up to my feet.

"Run!" she yells, and pulls me along the jungle.

"What is it? What is it?" I say.

"Some kind of fog. Poisonous gas. Hurry, Peeta!" She says.

My mind is alert, but my body is still suffering from the shock it received yesterday. My feet weak anything that hits it and I am almost dropped to the ground. We run as fast as we can but me almost falling at every turn slows us down. I start to let go of her hand, she can run quicker than I can and my main concern is her safety.

She quickly locks my hand tighter in hers.

"Watch my feet. Just try to step where I step," She says.

I look down and follow her feet letting her have complete control on where I am going. Trust isn't something that you do naturally, but with Katniss, I would let her guide me anywhere.

A burning sensation begins to develop and I feel like my skin is burning from the inside. I want to scratch it but know that it would make things worse and stopping is not something that either of us wants to do. We move, not knowing where we are going but moving away from the fog. Like the wind crossing we move through the trees.

"Come on, you two, MOVE!" Finnick yells.

We move to the sound of his voice. Sometimes is wrong, it is like my body is shutting down. My legs become very heavy and I trip and fall. Sensation of fire is better than what I am feeling now. The numbness spreads from my legs to my face. I can feel anything. It is like I am becoming paralyzed and yet my mind is still as sharp as ever. My left eye lid droops covering my eye and I can barely see from the other eye. I try to say something but no words come out. My mouth is not cooperating.

"Peeta -" she begins to say.

She yanks me forward and I fall, the weight of my body now not able to be supported by my legs. She grabs under my arm and I can see her arms are twitching uncontrollably.

My legs move one way, and I am no longer in control of them. With all my might I can't seem to get them to do anything right.

I see the ground now on the floor and it feels like I am flying. Maybe the fog is also a hallucinogen and I think that I am flying, but I can still hear the feet crunching along the path, slower than usual but moving.

"It's no good. I'll have to carry him. Can you take Mags?" Finnick says.

"Yes," Katniss says but I am unable to turn to see her.

Why would Finnick take me? This would be the second time he has saved me. He doesn't know me, and this is not a war, it is the Hunger Games. An alliance can go only as far as your own survival. That is why allies don't last that long in the Hunger Games, they are only good if each party holds up their side of the bargain. There is something more going on.

We are slowly moving forward and I feel less control over my body almost like I am going to be trapped inside my own body. The fear of it causes me to shed tears. One thing is dying; another thing is living not being able to express yourself, becoming a burden to someone. The one thing that I fear the most, is becoming a burden to someone I love.

After a couple of minutes we start to go back and finally I hear her voice again.

"It's no use," she says. "Can you take them both? Go on ahead, I'll catch up."

I hear it come from him the struggle in a decision. I know this feeling all too well. The feeling of having to make a choice.

"No," he says. "I can't carry them both. My arms aren't working."

"I'm sorry, Mags. I can't do it."

I can barely see her from my eyes that are closing. She kisses Finnick and hobbles straight into the fog. He turns and begins to walk away from the fog.

"Come on, Katniss, push through it!" he yells at her.

We walk and I see a tear streak from Finnick's cheek. Whoever Mags was, meant a lot to Finnick. This makes no sense. Both of them, sacrificing themselves for both of us, it makes no sense. What did Haymitch tell Finnick to get him to sacrifice someone he loved for me?

He finally collapses causing me to fall to the ground. I can feel it. On my right cheek I feel the sand on my face. The thump of someone else falling and I see her exhausted and still twitching.

I hear Katniss try to say something and find that it is just a groan, or something to that nature. She tries again and finally is able to get out.

"It's stopped." She says.

We both lift our heads and see that the fog is pushing against an invisible wall. I roll off Finnick and still twitching can see movement in the trees. I can barely make it out but there it is, just sitting on a branch near us.

"Mon-hees" I try to say.

My hand for a couple of seconds returns to me and I point up. This is the first time I have seen a live monkey, although I can't say it. Nothing of this arena would allow me to feel comfortable with a monkey just there looking us. Scratch that, two monkeys.

It is time to go. I place all my strength to get to my knees and begin to crawl to the water. When the water finally touches my face the pain is unbearable but the odd thing, it feels like something is coming out. I begin to place my hands in the water and see a white milky substance coming out of my skin. The pain begins to be less and less. The greatest thing of it all is that the twitching has stopped in my hands and I can feel my fingers.

I strip off the jumpsuit and begin to gently grab water and sprinkle it on my arms and leg. Finally I look and see that Katniss has placed her face in the water. When I see her come up from the water I know that it is save to do. The pain is blinding but after surviving the Hunger Games any pain is relative and can be controlled. After soaking my face in the water I open my eyes and see that Katniss has cupped water in her hands and staggering to Finnick.

I walk over to Finnick and cut away his jumpsuit. Katniss is walking back to the water when I see two deep shells. I pick them up and hand one to her. We cup water in the shells and begin to soaking his arms. He begins to moan and loudly.

"We've got to get more of him into the water," she whispers.

I move over to his feet and she walks over to help me drag Finnick to the salt water. Inch by inch we get Finnick into the water and a lot of the milky substance leaves his body. After a while you can see Finnick coming back to life. We both to each other smile.

"There's just your head left, Finnick. That's the worst part, but you'll feel much better after, if you can bear it," I tell him.

We help him place his face in the water and find that he is able to do it on his own.

"I'm going to try to tap a tree," Katniss says.

"Let me make the hole first," I say. "You stay with him. You're the healer."

I walk over to one of the trees and begin to stab at the tree. Finally getting in the hole when I hear Katniss say,

"Peeta, I need your help with something."

"Okay, just a minute. I think I've just about got it," I say digging at the tree. Finally a hole that can hold the spile. "Yes, there. Have you got the spile?"

"I do. But we've found something you'd better take a look at," she says with an even tone. "Only move towards us quietly, so you don't startle it."

Startle it? I turn around and look at her. "Okay," I say to her moving slowly to her. They are moving very slowly. I see that Katniss has her bow and is moving in a way that I remember. It is when she would hunt. She is no longer looking at my eyes but looking beyond me.

I hear a rustle and slowly gaze up and see it. My mind tried to count the number of monkeys on the trees but the sheer massive amount of them and I know I am in trouble. I see them sliding down the trees and coming straight for me. My knife is in my hands and I turn to meet them head on.

"Mutts!" she yells.

The first one comes at me and I quickly take it down with the knife. I see the arrows flying by me and know that Katniss is firing away. I back up slowly taking down another one. Feel one grab me and hear the thump of the arrow take it down. Finally we are back to back forming a triangle, Finnick and Katniss.

The slash of my knife opens the neck of one and quickly I turn the knife and land it on the top of the head of another one.

"Peeta!" she shouts. "Your arrows!"

I turn and slide off the sheath of arrows and toss it to her. I see her throw a knife my way and quickly turn to see a monkey in the air about to land right on me with its razor sharp fangs.

I go to lift up the knife and that is when I see her. The girl from District Six has jump in front of me with her arms wide open as to catch the mutt. I run to push her out of the way, but I am too late. The mutt sinks it fangs into her chest.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty Three

Owing someone is something that I have always hated. Favors are something that we never did in my family. We always believed that if we needed anything and didn't have the money, we wouldn't get it. If because of our circumstances we didn't have something, we were better off without.

"There are two things in life that you should always follow, Peeta." He says. "One if you want anything, you have to work for it, you cannot expect for them to just give you things."

"And that second?" I ask.

"If you are going to give something to someone doing it to never ask for or expect anything in return."

I was probably about ten or so that summer. An old man entered into the bakery one afternoon. You can tell from the way he approached my father head hang low, hands clasps together, short sliding steps that he isn't there to purchase anything.

"Do you by chance need help in anything?" He asks.

"I don't have any money that I can pay you with," my father responds.

"Really all I would appreciate is bread for my grandkids," he says looking down to the ground ashamed. "Really I don't want an handout and it could be even old bread."

He grabs a couple of fresh breads from the rack and hands it to him.

"Every week I expect you to come at this time and clean both the shop and the stock room," he says.

He grabs my father hands in appreciation.

"Thank you," he says.

"No, this is not a favor. This is not a gift. You are doing work for the possibility of bread. I cannot guarantee that I would even have bread to offer at the end, but your work will be compensated." He tells him.

He nods in agreement. Pride in our District has always been something we value and my father never wanted the old man to think that he was getting something for nothing, but that he is getting paid for work that he is doing.

We did this for a while. Every Friday he would come to clean. It would take him almost double the time that it would take me or my brothers to do, but he was always grateful for the work and did a really thorough job.

Mother of course would hate it and always tell him that he gives away things more than actually sells it. Papa always did what he felt was right.

"We pull together," he would always remind me. "One District."

A year passed and the old man was killed. We had found out that a couple of days prior he was killed by peacekeepers. The crime was hiding a possible tribute from the reaping. It was one of his grandsons. When the peacekeepers found him hiding under the floorboards, they were taking the boy to the reaping, when the old man intervened and was shot.

The funeral was on a Thursday and we passed by to pay our respects. The following day my father began to prepare the loaves of bread for the work of cleaning the bakery and the stock room.

"Peeta, go and deliver the bread to the old man's house," He says.

"Papa, I don't understand," I say grabbing the bag.

"Peeta come here," he says taking me to talk to me. "This right here is a gift. I do not expect anything in return for this." He says. "This is just the right thing to do. You understand?"

"I think," I say. "You are giving this bread because it is the right thing to do. It will keep them from dying. You don't expect them to repay you."

"They probably won't even understand it," he says patting me on the leg.

Sure enough the widow grandmother at first refused the bread saying she didn't have any money to give for it. When I explain to her that this was a gift to her, she then tried to offer me something for it. I of course not accepting anything for it explained that it is the right thing to do. She hugged me and took the bread.

Finnick Odair, has given me my life twice now, and it isn't for me to repay. I don't know if it is something that I have to do in return, or a gift. I am beginning to understand that sometimes we just have to do what we feel is right. Mags sacrificing her because Finnick could carry her allowed Katniss to survive. And now as I see the girl from District Six protect me from mutts that tried to kill me.

She wasn't even an ally, or was she? The pain inside me, I turn to anger. People dying and keeping me alive and for what, am I to keep Katniss alive. Is that the game Haymitch is playing to keep her alive, by keeping me alive?

I stab the monkey in the back, again, and again, and again. It finally releases the girl and I kick it away.

"Come on, then! Come on!" I yell at the rest of the monkeys. If they want me, come and get me. They all look at me, and then I see them begin to retreat.

Katniss comes next to me.

"Get her," she says. "We'll cover you."

I come next to her, and see that she is dying. I gently pick her up and find that she weighs close to nothing. I move her to the edge of the water. Her eyes just look at me as I carried her and place her gently on the sand. You can see that although her body has wasted away because of the morphling, she was still in there.

Katniss comes to her side and grabs one of her hands. I hear Finnick say that he would watch the trees, but my eyes are locked on hers. Is this what Katniss went through with Rue. She didn't have her fellow tribute to help her, she really didn't have anyone.

Her eyes say it all. She wants to know that everything will be alright, and that she is not alone as she dies.

I stroke her hair and she begins to relax. I want to give her one last memory of something that isn't the Games, that isn't the Mutts, that isn't of her dying on the sand next to the water. I wish I could let the Gamemakers know that like Rue, they are responsible for the girl from District Six for dying. They have killed her as well. If I could I would have painted all of us on the floor next to Rue that night when I had my private session. That is if I had enough time or enough paint.

That is when it hits me. I remember that she would love painting, the colors really.

"With my paint box at home, I can make every color imaginable. Pink. As pale as a baby's skin. Or as deep as rhubard. Green like spring grass. Blue that shimmers like ice on water."

She looks at me attentively. She is fixated on the description of the colors that she loves.

"One time, I spent three days mixing paint until I found the right shade for sunlight on white fur. You see, I keep thinking it was yellow, but it was much more than that. Layers of all sorts of color. One by one," I say.

She calms her breathing down and can see that it begins to slow.

"I haven't figured out a rainbow yet. They come so quickly and leave so soon. I never have enough time to capture them. Just a bit of blue here or purple there. And then they fade away again. Back into the air," I say.

She lifts her hand and begins to swirl something on my cheek. I think it is a gift for staying with her.

"Thank you," I whisper. "That looks beautiful."

Her expression brightens as she smiles. Her hand falls to her chest and then she gone.

I hear in the background the cannon fire and now that soon enough the hovercraft would come to take her body. I carry her out to the water and she floats away.

I can now understand what it is like to hold someone why they died. It dawns on me that in that moment, the only thing we want is to not be alone. To find that we have done something that mattered in life.

I sit down next to Katniss, exhausted both physically and emotionally. I wish that I could just hold her and make it so that who day never happened. Instead all I do is just grab her hand and she lets me just hold it for a while.

The silence although it is a short time is welcomed, I needed her here with me at this moment, she is the only one that would understand what I am going through, what my mind is going through.

Finnick comes and sits next to us.

"Thought you might want these." He says, laying the arrows by Katniss's side.

"Thanks," she says, letting go of my hand to wash the blood off the arrows. We all begin to wash the blood from our hands and our weapons.

"I'll go and get some moss to dry them," she tells me.

She walks back to the jungle only to find that the bodies of all the dead monkeys are gone.

"Where did they go?" she asks.

"We don't know exactly. The vines shifted and they were gone," Finnick says.

There is something unsettling about this jungle that it is alive and that it would swallow the dead. We just stand there for a moment, unsure of what to do next. That is until I realize that my hand has started to scratch my cheek where the scabs are from the fog.

"Don't scratch," Katniss tell us. "You'll only bring infection. Think it's safe to try for the water again?"

We all now walk back to the tree that I was making a hole for. Katniss hands me the spile and I work it around until I find a good vein. The water begins to gush out and we quickly take turns drinking the warm water. After a while we grab a handful of shells there were on the sand and use it to grab water. After filling most of them, I remove the spile, give it back to Katniss and we retreat to the beach.

We sit down on the sand, and look up at the sky.

"Why don't you two get some rest?" says Katniss. "I'll watch for a while."

"No, Katniss, I'd rather," says Finnick.

"All right, Finnick, thanks," she says.

She lies next to me and seeing how our bodies are worn out from the day we immediately drift off to sleep.

I feel a slight shake and hear her voice.

"Peeta. Peeta, wake up," she says.

I open my eyes and see two people with gray-green skin, smelling like decomposing flesh.

"Aah!" I yell out and jump back.

Both of them just break down laughing. It must be nice to scare people out of their minds. All of the sudden a parachute appears and lands next to them.

"This will go well with the shellfish." Finnick says.

"What are you wearing on your skin?" I ask Katniss.

"This ointment for the scratching," she says smiling. You can see how white her teeth are by how dark the contract of her skin.

"You can probably hide in plain sight with that dark skin," I say smiling. "Although you have smelled better before."

"Here put this on your skin," she says.

Just then we hear screaming in the distance. Each of us turns our heads prepared with our weapons. We see an enormous wave hit the top of the hill. We quickly collect everything before it is carried off. The only thing that the water grabs is our jumpsuits.

A cannon fire and we see a hovercraft appear over the area and grab a body from the trees.

"There," Katniss says pointing across the distance.

That is where we see them three figures stumbling onto the beach. We slowly back into the shadows of the jungle to hide. One is being dragged by the other and the third is just wandering around. They are painted a dark crimson red. Two arms and two legs are the only reason why I think they are human.

"Who is that?" I ask. "Or what? Muttations?"

I see Katniss begin to draw an arrow back as they move closer into range. The one being dragged collapses, obviously exhausted. The one who was dragging, shoves the wandering one to where they are.

"Johanna!" Finnick calls out.

"Finnick!" I hear Johanna's respond.

Katniss looks at me, "what now?" she asks.

"We can't really leave Finnick," I say.

"Guess not. Come on, then," she says stomping her feet.

We are walking closer to them and hear Katniss.

"She's got Wiress and Beetee." She says.

"Nuts and Volts?" I respond. This makes no sense, why would Johanna be teamed up with Wiress and Beetee? "I've got to hear how this happened,"

As we finally reach Johanna, she is explaining why the new color.

"We thought it was rain, you know, because of the lighting, and we were all so thirsty. But when it started coming down, it turned out to be blood. Thick, hot blood. You couldn't see, you couldn't speak without getting a mouthful. We just staggered around, trying to get out of it. That's when Blight hit the force field."

Blight her male counterpart from District Seven. He never showed up for training or even the private session. I know I saw him next to Johanna at the opening ceremonies.

"I'm sorry, Johanna," Finnick says.

"Yeah, well, he wasn't much, but he was from home," she says. "And he left me alone with these two." She kicks Beetee and points at Wiress who is now circling around repeating the same thing over and over.

"Tick, tock. Tick, tock." She says.

"Yeah, we know. Tick, tock. Nuts is in shock." She says.

Wiress gets up and crashes into Johanna, who shoves her to the ground. "Just stay down, will you?"

"Lay off her," Katniss comes to her defense.

She turns still covered in blood. "Lay off her?!"

She starts to walk towards her, "Lay off her?" Now just a little bit louder. "Who do you think got them out of that bleeding jungle for you? You -"

Finnick grabs her and tosses her over his shoulder and walks away to the water. He starts to dunk her in the water cleaning her off. In between dunks you can still hear her screaming obscenities towards Katniss.

"What did she mean? She got them for me?" She asks me.

"I don't know. You did want them originally," I reminder her.

"Yeah, I did. Originally." She says. "But I won't have them long unless we do something." As she Points to both Beetee and Wiress, I realize that she speaks the truth.

I lift up Beetee and take him to the beach camp we had constructed. We start to remove their clothing but find that Beetee's clothes are glued to him. I hold him in the water while Katniss loosen them. Once the jumpsuits are off, we see that even their undergarments are glued on. We have no choice but to strip them naked in order to clean the clothes.

Once naked we check him for any injuries and find one six inches long running from his shoulder blade to his ribs.

"Be right back," Katniss says.

She walks to the jungle and grabs some moss from the tree. She comes back with this and some vines. She uses the moss to make a pad on his cut and ties it with the vines. After re-hydrating him, we move him to the shade at the edge of the jungle.

"I think that's all we can do," Katniss says.

"It's good. You're good with this healing stuff," I say. "It's in your blood."

"No," she says shaking her head. "I got my father's blood."

I have always wondered how Katniss father was like in the hunt. If he taught her everything he knows can you imagine how much of an ally he would be as a mentor? The things I wish I could have known about him. Probably I will ask Katniss about him, just so that I know where she gets it from.

"I'm going to see about Wiress." She says.

She removes her clothing and with a handful of moss she begins to scrub the blood off her skin. She keeps on telling Katniss "Tick, Tock." Obviously her mind wasn't there to begin with and seeing the blood fall from the sky must have completed the psychotic break.

"Yes, tick, tock. Tick, tock," she says in order to calm her.

We see Johanna and Finnick approaching the camp. She begins to eat the shellfish while Finnick recaps on what happened.

"We were approached by poisonous fog," he begins. "After becoming incapacitated, Mags sacrifices herself so that we could make it out."

Johanna stops and grabs Finnick's hand as to say she is sorry. Seems that Johanna also knows how much Mags meant to him.

"After rinsing ourselves in the salt water, the poison comes out. We are then attacked by muttation monkeys. Then they retreat and we saw the wave kill someone a couple of yards away. Then that is when we saw you three."

He looks up to the sky.

"You should try and get some sleep," Finnick tells Johanna.

"No I am fine," she refuses.

"Well I will stay up with you then," Finnick offers.

"No Finnick, I am well rested, you have taken the last two watches, let me take this one." She says.

I fall asleep seeing her sitting down next to me. I reach out for her hand and she holds it for a couple. It helps me sleep as long as I have part of her. We have become so dependent on each other that I wonder how she would adapt when I am not longer alive. Will she go back to the nightmares and hardly sleeping or would she find comfort in the arms of another.

As I close my eyes I feel the locket between my fingers and know that this is only temporary and soon, she will be on her own.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty Four

Dreams of District Twelve invade my mind as I sleep. I dream of a life that I would never have. Dreams of a small house in the Victor's village, a life with Katniss Everdeen. This is the one selfish thing that I have done and it is for me and me alone. A dream that I know in my heart isn't real, but it is my desire. It is spring time and we walk hand in hand towards the meadow. There are no peacekeepers, there are no fences, in this world, Panem is different. We are happy.

My whole world is complete.

"Are you happy?" She asks me.

"Any place with you, I am happy." I respond with a grim. It isn't a lie, any place with her as long as I have her hand, can see her eyes, can feel her embrace, I am happy.

She looks to the ground obviously saddened about something.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Its time to wake up," she says.

Suddenly a shaking awakens me. It is all too real; it reminds me of the fog, of losing Mags.

"Get up," she tells me. "Get up – we have to move."

"What happened?" I ask.

"It's a clock." She says. "The whole arena is a clock."

"A clock?" Finnick asks.

"Each section has a different horror, and it happens at a different time during the night." She says.

"I think all that tick tocking has driven you crazy. You and Nuts." Johanna says. "Both of you are nuts."

"I don't have enough time to convince you, but look," she says pointing out to a section to the left. "Just wait, the blood is about to rain again."

Sure enough right on time, the blood starts to rain.

"You figured it out, Katniss" I say.

"We have to move everything to the section that happens after so we are safe for the next section." She says.

We all begin to grab the weapons and equipment to move to a safe section. I start to put Beetee into his jumpsuit. Once I get him into the suit I try to lift him and he immediately wakes up.

"Wire," he says.

"She's right here," I tell him. "Wiress is fine. She's coming too."

He pushes me, "Wire," he insists.

"Oh, I know what he wants," Johanna says. She walks over and grabs a cylinder, still coated in a thick layer of blood. "This worthless thing. It's some kind of wire or something. That's how he got cut. Running up to the Cornucopia to get this. I don't know what kind of weapon it's supposed to be. I guess you could pull off a piece and use it as a garrote or something. But really can you imagine Beetee garroting somebody?"

"He won his Games with wire. Setting up that electrical trap," I tell her. "It's the best weapon he could have."

Katniss curious about what she says responds. "Seems like you'd figured that out. Since you nicknamed him Volts and all."

She looks at her dangerously, walking slowly towards her. "Yeah, that was really stupid of me, wasn't it?" she says. "I guess I must have been distracted by keeping your little friends alive. While you were…what, again? Getting Mags killed off?"

I see Katniss hand tightens around the knife on her belt.

"Go ahead. Try it. I don't care if you are knocked up, I'll rip your throat out," she says.

This time around, it isn't me who makes the first step to be the peacekeeper, it is Finnick.

"Maybe we all had better be careful where we step," says Finnick.

He grabs the coil of wire and gives it to Beetee.

"There's your wire, Volts. Watch where you plug it."

I pick up Beetee which is now easier to handle. I look towards the group and say "Where to?"

"I'd like to go to the Cornucopia and watch. Just to make sure we're right about the clock," says Finnick.

It is a good plan. To see the wider picture of the arena, so that we can see where the safe section would be, that is something that I would have done.

We all walk to the Cornucopia. Slowly with our weapons drawn we all walk to the horn and find that it is deserted. I lay Beetee down in the shade and he tells Wiress.

"Clean it, will you?" he says giving Wiress the wire.

She grabs the wire and goes over to the water to clean it singing some song.

"Up the clock the mouse will dock

Safely on its hands

The clock rings one

And all is done

The Mouse falls down again.

Up the clock the mouse will dock

Safely on its hands

The clock rings two

The hands speak true

The Mouse falls down all blue.

Up the clock the mouse will dock

Safely on its hands

The clock rings three

The Mouse starts to flea

As the clock falls instead"

Johanna puts her hands on her ears.

"Oh, not the song again," Johanna says. "That went on for hours before she started tick tocking."

Wiress then suddenly stands and points, "Two."

We all follow the hand and see that the fog begins to start to come out. She was right. Wiress was right. We can not only defeat the arena but we can use it to our advantage. I am pretty sure not all the Careers have figured it out. They are probably in one of the sections. All we have to do is wait for them to get flushed out.

"Like clockwork," I say. "You were very smart to figure that out, Wiress."

She smiles at me and goes back to singing and cleaning the wire.

"Oh, she's more than smart," says Beetee. "She intuitive."

We turn to Beetee who is starting to communicate more. The shock must have finally worn off. Sometimes the highly educated suffer the most when they go into shock. They retreat into the once place they feel they cannot be harmed. Or they lock themselves into their minds because they cannot explain things, or come to terms with it.

I have seen it happen in District Twelve, where someone would die and they are locked in their own minds, because they cannot come to terms.

I think that is what happened to Katniss's mother. From my conversations that I have had with her, she is very intelligent. She can see the problem and quickly act to fix it.

"How do you do it?" I ask.

She turns and looks, places the cups she was cleaning on the drying rack. Her daughter had been upstairs resting from the training that we had earlier that day.

"What do you mean Peeta?" She asks.

"Well when Katniss hurt herself, you knew immediately what to do." I say. "Do you always know what to do and how to heal it, or do you learn it along the way? If you learn it, how do you know that what you are giving them will help and not hurt them?"

"It is like a puzzle, but only backwards. You ever do puzzles Peeta as a kid?" she ask.

"Once, but it was a while back," I say.

"Well the human body will tell you what is wrong if you only listen. The thing is to get the pieces and place the puzzle together. Healing isn't about knowing, it is about instinct." She says.

What I wouldn't get to see how their minds works. I look at Beetee and he continues.

"She can sense things before anyone else. Like a canary in one of your coal mines."

"What's that?" Finnick asks Katniss.

"It's a bird that we take down into the mines to warn us if there's bad air," she responds.

"What's it do, die?" Johanna snaps.

"It stops singing first. That's when you should get out. But if the air's too bad, it dies, yes. And so do you."

The puzzle. This arena is a puzzle; the thing is to know the pieces. If we knew how everything fit then we can know how to navigate through it. The pieces are the horrors that we have endured. We have two teams that have gone through different things. This time around, information about the arena is as valuable as the weapons.

A map would be great to have to know where things are. I grab a large leave and begin to divide the twelve sections. If I can picture it from above the Cornucopia would be twelve or the highest point.

I sense her behind me.

"Look how the Cornucopia's positioned," I say pointing to the picture.

"The tail points toward twelve o'clock," she replies.

"Right, so this is the top of our clock," I say. I scratch the times around the clock picture. "Twelve to one is the lighting zone."

I write 'lighting' in the zone between twelve and one.

"Then the blood, the fog, and the monkeys." I continue.

"And ten to eleven is the wave," she says. I add it to the clock

The others have stopped talking about Wiress and have come to see what we have been doing. They all huddle around us.

"Did you notice anything unusual in the others?" Katniss asks Johanna and Beetee. They both nod their heads no. "I guess they could hold anything."

"I'm going to mark the ones where we know the Gamemakers' weapon follows us out past the jungle, so we'll stay clear of those. Well, it's a lot more than we knew this morning, anyway."

I sit back and begin to examine the areas we do not know. It could hold anything. One things for sure, this area right here is the safest in the arena, nothing can happen here.

That is until the singing stop and we all quickly rise. Like on instinct everyone who has a weapon has already drawn it. That is when I see Wiress slide to the ground, her throat slit open and there stands Gloss.

It isn't but a couple of seconds that I see his head jerk to one side and see the arrow. He falls instantly to the ground. Everything goes into slow motion and I see the ax leave Johanna hand and into Cashmere's chest. I start to get up as I see Brutus throw a spear.

I can still hear it in my head. The first time I met Brutus in the Training Center. "Anyone can hit a dummy that is just standing still," he says. "Make sure to keep moving there Twelve."

My reaction is too slow. The spear is coming too fast. This is it.

Just as I know the spear is going to hit, I see Finnick block the spear with his trident. This cost him valuable time as I see Enobaria's knife dig into his thigh. She looks up and knows that my knife is about to fly from my hand. She quickly ducks behind the Cornucopia. I turn and see Brutus had already disappeared.

We are all on our feet and sprinting behind them, Katniss in the lead. As we run full speed, I hear the three cannon fires, and know that Wiress, Gloss and Cashmere are gone.

Just as we are getting to the sand strip that leads to the jungle the ground jerks and we are all on our knees. No time to think but just react, I am on my feet and feel the land begin to spin. I drop to my hands and knees feeling the force trying to shoot me out from the Cornucopia. The jungle becomes a blur as we are spun around and around faster and faster. Just when I feel that I cannot hold on any longer, the land stops violently and I am tossed the opposite directions and hit the ground.

Coughing from the sand I try to get to my feet but find that the dizziness hasn't stopped.

"Where's Volts?" Johanna asks.

We all are on our feet and walk around the Cornucopia and find that he is gone.

"There," Finnick says pointing to the water. "I'll get him."

I turn and see that Katniss is looking frantically for something.

"Cover me," she says to the group and dives in. She is going for Wiress. Doesn't she know that she is gone? She must have heard the cannon fires.

That is when I remember that she was cleaning the wire. She must be going after the wire. The hovercraft appears and the claw is descending but I see that Katniss hasn't slowed down. She just barely makes it to Wiress before the claw grabs Wiress's body. I see her swimming back to the Cornucopia wire in hand. She hands Beetee the wire and he unravels a piece of the wire. The thin gold wire seems fragile but he taunts it, and we realize that this wire is no like your typical wire.

Katniss wet and tired, she hasn't process the lost of Wiress yet. She walks over to me and we hold each other. No one speaks, every one is tired and on edge. There hasn't been a moment that we can just relax and take a moment to breathe.

It strikes my mind that Finnick has saved me more times that I can allow. Almost like an older brother protecting his younger one. If we weren't in the arena and Finnick was in District Twelve, I am pretty sure that we would be friends. Don't know about Johanna though, she probably would drive Katniss crazy.

"Let's get off this stinking island," Johanna says.

"Let's go to twelve o'clock," Finnick says.

We begin to walk into three different directions.

"Twelve o'clock right?" I ask. "The tail points at twelve."

"Before they spun us," Finnick says. "I was judging by the sun."

"The sun only tells you it's going on four, Finnick," Katniss say.

"I think Katniss's point is, knowing the time doesn't mean you necessarily know where four is on the clock. You might have a general idea of the direction. Unless you consider that they may have shifted the outer ring of the jungle as well," says Beetee.

"Yes, so any of one of these paths could lead to twelve o'clock," she says.

We walk around to try to get a bearing of where everything is by the appearance of the jungle. It is all the same though, we cannot get a location. Each tree looks the same.

"Let's follow Enobaria's and Brutus's tracks doubt they would go into a place where they don't know." Johanna says.

We try to track the prints but find that tracks had been blown away.

"I should have never mentioned the clock," Katniss says. "Now they've taken the advantage away as well."

"Only temporarily," says Beetee. "At ten, we'll see the wave again and be back on track.

"Yes, they can't redesign the whole arena," I say.

"It doesn't mater," Johanna says. "You had to tell us or we never would have moved our camp in the first place, brainless. Come on, I need water. Anyone have a good gut feeling?"

We pick a path and we walk to the edge of the jungle. No one is looking forward to walk into the unknown.

"Well, it must be monkey hour. And I don't see any of them in there," I say. "I'm going to try to tap a tree."

"No, it's my turn," says Finnick.

"I'll at least watch your back," I say.

"Katniss can do that," says Johanna. "We need you to make another map. The other washed away."

I look at her, and think how I can make a map if I don't know where the sections are. People are acting weird. Now it is Johanna keeping both Katniss and me apart, or trying to keep Katniss and Finnick together.

We both look to each other. From her facial expression I can tell she is suspicious as well. I make sure to stand looking at the direction that Katniss just walk into. Both Finnick and Johanna are keeping me from danger. Just now Finnick kept me from going into the jungle, and Johanna came up with some excuse keeping me busy.

She disappears behinds a tree and no matter the angle I cannot see her. After a couple of minutes I walk towards the jungle to see if I can get a better angle.

That is when it hits me, an invisible wall on the edge of the jungle. I quickly move my hands feeling my way to the left or to the right and find that there is no way in.

What's worst I realize there is no way out.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty Five

I could have sworn I heard the sounds of Prim screaming. Could it be that the torture in the jungle is what Katniss fears the most.

Panic sets in. My heart races and all I can do is with the butt of my knife begin to hit the invisible wall.

Emotions flood my mind, what could they be doing to her. I need to get to her.

I feel her hands on my arms trying to get me to stop.

"Peeta, stop," says Johanna. "It's no use."

I collapse to my knees exhausted. A single tear streams down my cheek.

"Beetee, surely there has to be a way through?" I ask.

He looks at the wall and feels it with his hand.

"No, it will disappear after the half hour is done." He says.

I continue to bang at the wall not caring what he had just said.

"The odds are with her, though" says Beetee. "There are two experienced Victors in there. Their partnership is one of mutual survival. They will protect each other."

I look at him seeking out the truth in his facial expression. Has he been feeding me what I wanted to hear? People have been trying to shield me all my life. Don't they realize that being kept in the dark is much more harmful than the truth would be?

The realization of the depth of how much I care for her, hits me like a ton of bricks. The fact that I never got to tell her how much I love her, eats away at my very soul. There is a physical pain in my heart, I try to catch my breath but find that I can't. I would never get to feel warm embrace. I would never again feel her hand intertwine with mines. The things you take for granted when you think you have more time.

It feels like it is forever, time slows down in my mind and I am looking to Beetee for confirmation that the time has expired. I continue to bang on the wall but exhausted it barely makes a sound.

I lay my back on the wall wondering when this hell is going to end. Johanna crosses her arms and walks away muttering something. Beetee looks to the sky like he could tell when by the position of the stars.

Beetee looks down and his eyes widens. I turn back and see her stumbling out of the jungle. She is being pulled by Finnick. They running away from something but not looking where they are going.

"There is an invisible wall," I yell out to them, but it is no use. Both Finnick and her hit the wall at full force and fall back on their back. Finnick hit straight on and is now bleeding from his nose. Katniss is now holding her shoulder.

I put my hand out on the wall. I see her hand meets mine.

"I love you," I say, but confusion is on her face. She can't hear me. That is when I see what has been tormenting them appear. A flock of jabberjays land on the tree branch and immediately I see Finnick curl into a ball and hold his hands to his ears.

Katniss turns and fires arrows at them. One by one, they fall, but another takes it place. She finally loses her will to fight and falls under the sounds and is in the same position as Finnick.

"Fight, Katniss! You have to fight it," I yell.

I start to pound at the wall even harder. I try to get their attention and find that their main concern is the two people trapped in the wedge. Damn it when is it going to end. She is so close and yet I cannot get to her. I cannot protect her. I failed her before, and I make my promise that I won't fail her again. It is like the Gamemakers are reading my mind; because I see the jabberjays one by one begin to leave. It is almost over. Just a little bit longer.

I bang on the wall, and continue until the banging is gone and I almost fall. I begin to hear the jungle sounds again.

"Come on. Beetee, Johanna, grab Finnick" I tell them.

They go over to Finnick and both pick him up and take him to the ocean.

I rush over to Katniss and quickly scoop her up in my arms. She still has her eyes closed and her hands on her ears. I carry her to the edge of the beach right where the water hits the sand. I lie her down on the sand and prop her up on my lap as I begin to gently caress her hair and her face.

"You are safe," I begin to tell her. "It is over, you are safe."

I can feel her body still tense.

"Ssssh, it is okay," I continue.

What can I do to get her to realize that it is over and that it isn't the jabberjays mimicking my voice? The memories that we have before the Games are the only thing I can think of. There weren't that many memories or actually none where we had together except for one. I sigh and begin to softly sing the lullaby I heard so many years ago.

"Down in the valley,

Roses bloom all day,

The wind through the trees

Hearing what they say,

Come what may,

Along the rosewood way,

See the sunlight die,

See the rabbits run and hide

Know that you are safe,

Feel the rainy dew

Know that through it all,

That I love you."

"You remember the song?" I ask. "I heard it sung by this amazing little girl so many years ago. I didn't know it then but that day you stole something of mines. All these years I have been chasing you to get it back. And now when I almost lost you I have decided something. "

I brush her hair out of her face.

"I have decided to let you keep it. You have stolen my dreams and every night I dream of you." I say.

She begins to lessen her grip. She must remember the song that stole my heart, the little girl in the plaid. I place my hand on her hands and slowly move them down. Her eyes begin to open. The grey eyes just stare at me for a while. We have found each other.

"It's all right, Katniss," I whisper.

"You didn't hear them," she answers.

"I heard Prim. Right in the beginning. But it wasn't her," I say. "It was a jabberjay."

"It was her. Somewhere. The jabberjays just recorded it," she says.

"No, that's what they want you to think. The same way I wondered if Glimmer's eyes were in the mutt last year. But those weren't Glimmer eyes. And that wasn't Prim's voice. Or if it was, they took it from an interview or something and distorted the sound. Made it say whatever she was saying," I say.

"No, they were torturing her," she says. "She's probably dead."

"Katniss, Prim isn't dead. How could they kill Prim? We're almost down to the final eight of us. And what happens then?" I ask her.

"Seven more of us die," she says.

"No, back home. What happens when they reach the final eight tributes in the Games?" I lift her chin she that she would look me in the eyes. "What happens? At the final eight?"

"At the final eight?" She repeats. "They interview your family and friends back home."

"That's right," I say. "They interview your family and friends. And can they do that if they've killed them all?"

"No?" she asks.

"No. That's how we know Prim's alive. She'll be the first one they interview, won't she?" I ask.

Her eyes searches mines for truth. I can see she wants to believe me.

"First Prim, Then your mother. Your Cousin, Gale. Madge," I continue. "It was a trick, Katniss. A horrible one. But we're the only ones who can be hurt by it. We're the only ones in the Games. Not them."

"You really believe that?" she says.

"I really do," I respond.

Katniss looks over to Finnick for confirmation and I find that Finnick had been looking at me all this time.

"Do you believe it, Finnick?" She asks.

"It could be true. I don't know," he says. "Could they do that Beetee? Take someone's regular voice and make it…"

"Oh, yes. It's not even that difficult, Finnick. Our children learn a similar technique in school," says Beetee.

"Of course Peeta's right. The whole country adores Katniss's little sister. If they really killed her like this, they'd probably have an uprising on their hands," says Johanna. "Don't want that, do they?" she shouts. "Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want anything like that."

Leave it to Johanna Mason to make an impression. She is the only one that I know that would have courage and disregard to say something like this. Wonder what the Capitol did to make her like this, or has she always been so cheerful.

"I'm getting water," she says as she picks up some shells.

Katniss stops her before she goes in.

"Don't go in there. The birds -" she begins as she holds onto Johanna's hand.

Leave it to Katniss to even stop those that she cannot stand from suffering. Another thing that I love about her,

"They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love," Johanna says.

There it is the thing that the Capitol did to her to make her this way. Typically when you lose everything and everyone, you kill yourself or you die inside. Johanna guessing she chose the latter.

She comes back strolling, and hands Katniss a shell of water. Katniss nods and she smiles and walks making sure that she rubs it in their faces that she walked in and nothing happened to her.

We walk towards the water her still holding onto me, shaken. I gently caress her palm. She looks at me with a smile.

"How are you?" I ask her.

"Still a little bit unhinged. Her voice, Peeta, it sounded so real. I felt that I was being torn apart by my memories," she says.

"Who did they use against Finnick?"

"Somebody named Annie," she says.

"Must be Annie Cresta," I say.

"Who?" she asks.

"Annie Cresta. She was the girl Mags volunteered for. She won about five years ago," I say.

"I don't remember those Games much," she says. "Was that the earthquake year?"

"Yeah. Annie's the one who went mad when her district partner got beheaded. Ran off by herself and hid. But an earthquake broke a dam and most of the arena got flooded. She won because she was the best swimmer," I say.

"Did she get better after?" She asks. "I mean, her mind?"

"I don't know. I don't remember ever seeing her at the Games again. But she didn't look too stable during the reaping this year." I respond.

Just then a cannon blast and we all look to each other. We see in the distance a hover craft come and see the claw go down multiple times, but what we see come up are pieces of someone. However he died must have been a horrible way to go.

We all assume the time is around the six to seven o'clock hour.

I grab the map I had started again. Twelve to one is the lightning zone. One to two is the blood rain. Two to three is the fog. Three to four is the monkeys. Four to five is the jabberjays. Six to seven is the beast.

She looks at me wondering when this all going to end.

"Not to worry it is almost over." I tell her.

"Something that I don't want to think about," she says as she places her hand on my cheek. "I am going to clean up. Wait for me?"

I nod and sit down while she takes a swim to get herself cleaned. After a little bit she comes up and I help place on the ointment. I see Finnick has woven another net and is there catching fishes, placing them on a basket. I move the basket over to where we are, and Katniss starts to clean them.

The sun begins to slowly disappear behind the jungle and we all walk towards our new camp. Everyone had settled in an area and after cleaning the weapons, the anthem begins and we all look to the sky to see how many of us remain.

Cashmere, Gloss, Wiress, Mags, the girl from District Five, the girl who saved me from the monkeys from District Six, Blight and the man from District Ten. Eight. Gone forever.

"They're really burning through us," Johanna says. With the eight that died today, and eight from the first night that is sixteen. There are five of us on the beach.

"Who's left? Besides us five and District Two?" Johanna asks.

"Chaff," I say. I wonder how the old man is fairly. Would he kill us without thinking? Has Haymitch spoken to him like he has spoken to these three on the beach with us?

A silver parachute slowly descends and I grab it. It is bread. The bread is square shaped and bite sized. District Three.

"These are from your district right, Beetee?" I ask.

"Yes, from District Three," he says. "How many are there?"

Finnick counts them, "Twenty-four"

"An even dozen then?" says Beetee.

"Twenty-four on the nose," says Finnick. "How should we divide them?"

"Let's each have three, and whoever is still alive at breakfast can take a vote on the rest," Johanna says.

Katniss begins to laugh. Johanna just looks to Katniss and there is an approving look. Johanna is the kind of person that although she one to keep your eyes on, she deserves respect for how she reacts to the situation. She reminds me of Clove from a year ago. I wonder if any of the tributes from our Games if they had survived instead of us, would they survive here. Would there be an alliance like this, or would it be everyone for themselves. The "what ifs" would drive anyone mad so I just concentrate on the raw fish with the warm bread from District Three.

Not many people talk through the meal with the exception of Johanna's comment on who would be the next to go. Or how would the careers attack.

"Who knows?" Katniss says. "Probably they will just get killed by the arena."

That would be the worst thing though when you think of it. That would mean that we would be left, and then our alliance would be broken and it would be the fight of our lives. This thought keeps in my mind. I know that Katniss would fight to keep me alive and that this alliance could be to keep me alive. Finnick saving me, Mags, the girl from District Six and even Johanna they all through their own way have placed their own lives to protect me.

The old man might have a double deal and we are both fooling ourselves. We wouldn't know who Haymitch truly wants to live, so it is probably a good time to lay out the cards.

We see the wave come out in the ten to eleven o'clock zone. We all move the camp to that zone. This gives us about twelve hours of safety from the arena. There is however a lot of clicking noise coming from the eleven to twelve o'clock zone. Whatever it may be, insects or animals we make an extra attempt to keep away from that zone. I grab the map and pencil in insects in that zone. When everyone has settled down in the camp, I hear Katniss says.

"I will take the first watch," Katniss volunteers.

"I will keep her company," I say.

There are no complaints and everyone quickly falls asleep. For the first couple of minutes it is just us one looking one direction of the beach and the other direction. After a while I feel her head against my shoulder. I place my arms around her and she allows me to caress her hair.

"Katniss," I say softly.

"Hmm?" she says.

"It's no use pretending we don't know what the other one is trying to do," I say.

We both know that we are trying to keep each other alive. Sooner or later she has to let me go. I have to make her see reason to it.

"I don't know what kind of deal you think you've made with Haymitch, but you should know he made me promises as well." I tell her. "So I think we can assume he was lying to one of us."

She looks up at me. When she sees my eyes she turns around to face me.

"Why are you saying this now?" she asks.

Everything has lead up to this. If my words have to count for something make it count for this moment. Everyone says that I have a way with words that I can move a crowd, but my crowd now is just her. Let them count.

"Because I don't want you forgetting how different our circumstances are. If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You're my whole life," I say.

Does she realize that this is the truth? She has to begin to realize that this is not for the cameras but for us.

"I would never be happy again," I continue.

"Peeta, don't –" she starts to object.

I place my finger on her lips.

"Please let me get this out. It's different for you. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living." I say as I remove my locket.

I hold it up to the moonlight so she can clearly see it. I open the locket and she lets out a little gasps. Her eyes trained on the pictures. She reaches out for the locket. I place it in her hands. She places a thumb over her mother and Prim, caressing the picture. She seems surprise to see that Gale is on the other side, smiling.

From the one who gave it to me, Katniss's mother. To the words that she gave me of remembering who I am fighting for. Knowing in my heart that she deserves happiness and to have a family of her own, this is my one desire even if it is not with me.

"Your family needs you, Katniss," I say to her closing the locket in her hands.

Her hands I can feel trembling. I look deep into her eyes so she realizes that it is the truth of my heart.

"No one really needs me," I say. "I have come to terms with this, my family has as well."

I look down at her hands. She has small hands. I never realized that until now. I see her hand come out of the grip and up to my chin. She lifts it, and that is when I see it. The grey eyes looking through me, past all of my defenses, searching deeply, the stare works down through the Games, the love, all the memories and finds that scared little boy.

She sees me. The ones everyone else just walks away from. She sees the scare little boy that knows that he isn't good enough for her. All the work I do, and all the training, and I would never be as good as the ones in the arena. All the words that my father tells me and I would always just be a boy trying to chase the dream. She sees me, and it scares me.

"I do," she says softly holding the tears. I can see the watery grey eyes. "I need you."

What good is her needing me if I can't be with her? If she could see that this is a selfish response. We only have probably this moment, who knows what will happen tomorrow. If she dies, then I would die inside.

I take a deep breath and just as I am about to let her know that she needs to think about her family that needs her. She leans in and kisses me.

Her lips are soft and passionate. It takes only a second and I have lost control. No, this isn't fair. I try to pull back to put up the walls, but she feels me and I can feel her. She knows that she has my heart. She has to let me go. It is too painful to think of her dying. Can't she see that? My heart longs for hers but the pain is too great. I can't live without her. If this is our goodbye then let it be. I know that in my heart if she dies I will die, but if she lives then I my memories of her will live in my heart forever even after I am long gone. Either way I know that I will not leave this place, this arena. I pour my heart in the kiss and find that she doesn't pull away but pulls in. We both for a moment lose ourselves in our hunger for each other. I cannot get enough of her; I could never get enough of her.

The lighting strikes and we are brought out of our dream world.

Finnick shoots up. In frustration he finally says "I can't sleep."

He looks at us obviously he is taken a little bit back on what he saw. He seeing both of us wrapped around each other. "Or both of you. I can watch alone."

"It's too dangerous," I say to Finnick. "I'm not tired. You lie down, Katniss."

I walk her over to where the others are. She lies down and I put the locket over her neck. Placing my hand over her stomach I smile and say.

"You're going to make a great mother, you know." I lean in and kiss her softly. She smiles and slowly closes her eyes.

I walk over to Finnick. We each take our posts.

"You really care for her don't you?" he asks.

"More than you know." I say.

"Isn't that just a great feeling, to love someone whole heartily?" He says.

"Is that how you feel about Annie?" I ask.

He turns around and looks at me.

"You were mumbling something and I could hear you calling out to her." I say. "I'm sorry, didn't mean anything by it."

He smiles and looks up.

"You see that star up there?" He points. "That is our star."

I look up and see a bright blue star in the night sky. It is shining brightly near a cluster of stars.

"Before I left for the Games, we both picked that star, so that if I was anywhere in the arena, I can just look up and find our star and know that she is looking at the same thing at the same time." He continues.

"So she is looking at it right now?" I ask.

He nods.

This is the first time I realize that although Finnick is considered a womanizer in the Capitol, his heart is with Annie.

"When did you know?" he asks.

"When did I know what?" I ask.

"That Katniss was the one?" he responds.

"When she sang as a child a song that stopped even the birds outside." I say.

"So you mean to tell me, that all she had to do is sing and the jabberjays would have stopped?" he says with a smile.

"Well who knows, it might have worked, although I doubt Katniss would have wanted to sing at that moment." I say.

"How do you do it then?" he says. "Knowing that neither of you might make it out. I don't know if I could have been able to,-"

"I sorry Finnick, I don't know." I say.

I see the fog begin to go through two sections down. It reminds me of Mags, how she sacrificed herself for me.

"Is that why Mags volunteered when Annie's name was called?" I ask.

He nods and looks down to the sand.

"Well she is safe back in your District." I say. "I am going to try to get Katniss back to her District so she can be safe."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty Six

Just for a moment, I can still hear it. The water comes onto the shore. It reminds me of happier times before the arena. Johanna had just gotten up and took my shift.

As I lie down next to Katniss I can hear the waves come onto the coast. The laughter on the beach. I can count the number of times I have heard Katniss laugh on my hands. My eyes close and I see her face. It was our day in District Four. That was the day that we were on the beach.

"Have you ever seen such blue water?" I ask her.

"Only once." She says.

I scoop up some in my hands. It is like she knows what I am going to do and suddenly I feel the water on my face.

"Too slow Peeta." She says laughing.

"Oh yeah?" I say.

She starts to run away and I start to chase. She is adamant on not getting caught, so she starts to run in zig zags, knowing full well that my artificial leg is something new and I haven't been able to master it. She seems to have me beat, that is until she trips and falls. She tries to get up, but that is it, this slow baker finally catches the stealth hunter.

"You were saying," I say holding onto her.

"Peeta, manners, remember you are on camera," Effie says in a singsong voice.

"Yes, Peeta, remember we have an audience," Katniss says in agreement.

Grabbing her, I start to walk towards the water. She sees it and starts to struggle.

"You better not," she says. "Peeta, do you hear me? Let me go."

Walking towards the water finally at edge, I did just that, I let her go.

By throwing her in to the ocean, and running for dear life.

Effie wasn't too thrilled. Haymitch was laughing, and at the end after being dunked in the ocean as well, Katniss was laughing too.

The sunlight on my face wakes me up from my dream, only to see the sun rising on the arena. That with the water brings the memory to my face. All I can do is smile, all I can do for a moment is be happy.

I get up to see that Finnick is already in the water catching breakfast. Johanna is there sharpening her axes with a couple of rocks. I think she wants to get it so sharp that she can cut the air. Every time I ask, she always tells me the same thing.

"Better than sitting around and doing nothing," she says.

Beetee is there with a twig writing something on the sand, and mumbling.

That is when I hear Johanna say.

"Here comes today's delivery." She says.

We watch as the parachute drops to the beach.

"Finnick," she calls to him.

Finnick turns and hauls in the catch before coming towards the delivery.

More bread. It is the exact same delivery as yesterday. Twenty-four rolls from District Three. That with the leftovers from yesterday we have thirty-three in total.

I sit down and eat my breakfast rolls. I hear her coming behind me and sit next to me.

"Morning," she says.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" I ask.

"Slept okay," she says.

"Wonder what today will bring." I tell her.

I feel her hand in mine and look to her.

"Come on. I'll teach you how to swim."

"Okay, but no dunking," I say to her with a smile.

She smiles and says "well if you don't throw me in, I wouldn't have to dunk you."

"Well, I am a lot quicker now, so you probably won't be able to catch me." I say brightly.

We are waist high in the water when she starts to instruct me on how to swim.

"It is easy, especially with the belt you have on," she says. "All you need to do is lightly push the water with one hand. Don't tug; it is a partnership between you and the water."

"Sort of like a dance?" I ask.

"Yes, like a dance, except you have to let the water lead you." She says.

I start to practice and find that it isn't that hard. The real challenge is making sure that my artificial leg stays up and not sink like a rock. Finally after a couple of tries she stops me.

"Peeta, come here I found a way to get rid of these itchy scabs." She says.

I walk over to her and she shows me that by rubbing some sand on the scabs they fall off leaving new skin.

We start to scrub the sand on the skin when she comes close to me.

"Look, the pool is down to eight. I think it's time we took off," she says softly.

I nod in agreement. It is time we separate from the group although I wish Brutus and Enobaria were dead. My thought is that Brutus and Enobaria will try one more attack to get our numbers down. If they can eliminate either Finnick or Johanna it would definitely help us. My hope is that Finnick would be the next. I doubt Katniss would be able to kill him after him saving me. She has that wonderful quality on repaying a debt. Johanna on the other side she could care less and would sink an arrow in her chest in a second.

"Tell you what," I say. "Let's stick around until Brutus and Enobaria are dead. I think Beetee's trying to put together some kind of trap for them now. Then, I promise, we'll go."

She looks at me, weighing what I said.

"All right," she says. "We'll stay until the Careers are dead. But that's the end of it."

She turns and yells out to Finnick "hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!"

I have never seen Finnick run so fast to meet us, guess Finnick prides himself on his looks.

"So?" he says smiling.

"Rub some sand on the scabs and it will peel off," Katniss says. "Although making you pretty might take longer for you."

He splashes some water in retaliation.

"So it isn't me. Everyone seems to want to splash water at you." I say laughing.

She narrows her eyes at me, and I begin to laugh even more. Finnick just stands there looking confused.

The new skin is still too delicate for the harsh sunlight so we apply another round of the medicine. Finnick of course seeing himself back with the medicine on loses the smile.

Finnick sees Beetee on the shoreline waving us in. We all walk in and find that Beetee does indeed have a plan.

"I think we'll all agree our next job is to kill Brutus and Enobaria," he says as a matter of fact. "I doubt they'll attack us openly again, now that they're so outnumbered. We could track them down, I suppose, but it's dangerous, exhausting work."

"Do you think they've figured out about the clock?" Katniss asks.

"If they haven't, they'll figure it out soon enough. Perhaps not as specifically as we have. But they must know that at least some of the zones are wired for attacks and that they're reoccurring in a circular fashion. Also, the fact that our last fight was cut off by Gamemaker intervention will not have gone unnoticed by them. We know it was an attempt to disorient us, but they must be asking why it was done, and this, too, may lead them to the realization that the arena's a clock," says Beetee. "So I think our best bet will be setting our own trap."

"Wait, let me get Johanna up," says Finnick. "She'll be rabid if she thinks she missed something this important."

"Or not," Katniss mutters.

As Finnick goes to wake up Johanna, I see that Beetee has begun to draw the arena.

"Let's hear it Volts, what master plan do you have?" Johanna says, obviously still groggy from lack of sleep.

"If you were Brutus and Enobaria, knowing what you do now about the jungle, where would you feel safest?" Beetee asks us.

"Where we are now. On the beach," I say. "It's the safest place."

"So why aren't they on the beach?" says Beetee.

"Because we're here," says Johanna.

"Exactly. We're here, claiming the beach. Now where would you go?" says Beetee.

"I'd hide just at the edge of the jungle. So I could escape if an attack came. And so I could spy on us." Katniss says.

"Also to eat," says Finnick. "The jungle's full of strange creatures and plants. But by watching us, I'd know the seafood's safe."

"Yes, good. You do see. Now here's what I propose: a twelve o'clock strike. What happens exactly at noon and at midnight?"

"The lightning bolt hits the tree," says Katniss.

"Yes. So what I'm suggesting is that after the bolt hits at noon, but before it hits midnight, we run my wire from that tree all the way down into the saltwater, which is, of course, highly conductive. When the bolt strikes, the electricity will travel down the wire and into not only the water but also the surrounding beach, which will still be damp from the ten o'clock wave. Anyone in contact with those surfaces at that moment will be electrocuted," says Beetee.

Feels like I am back in school hearing the explanation come from the teacher. Our science teacher once taught us on how electricity is brought to our District.

That was the question someone asked about why the fences were always without power.

"Most of our power is through the nuclear plants that we have stationed near District Two and District Three." The teacher begins to say. "It travels through underground cables to power stations for each District."

One of the students raised their hands and asked an additional question.

"So why is there electricity at the Justice Building and none on the fence?" the student asked.

"Well if you connect an additional line to the main line, electricity will travel on it too." She says. "But the line has to be thick enough because of the amount of heat that it generates."

I wonder if Beetee's wire is thick enough to handle the heat.

"Will that wire really be able to conduct that much power, Beetee? It looks so fragile, like it would just burn up."

"Oh, it will. But not until the current has passed through it. It was act something like a fuse, in fact. Except the electricity will travel along it," says Beetee.

"How do you know?" Johanna asks.

"Because I invented it," Beetee says. "It's not actually wire in the usual sense. Nor is the lightning natural lightning nor the tree a real tree. You know trees better than any of us, Johanna. It would be destroyed by now, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," she says.

"Don't worry about the wire – it will do just what I say," Beetee says.

"And where will we be when this happens?" Finnick asks the question we are all thinking.

"Far enough up in the jungle to be safe," responds Beetee.

"The Careers will be safe, too, then, unless they're in the vicinity of the water," Katniss points out.

"That's right," says Beetee.

"But all the seafood will be cooked," I say.

"Probably more then cooked," says Beetee. "We will most likely be eliminating that as a food source for good. But you found other edible things in the jungle, right, Katniss?"

"Yes. Nuts and rats," she says. "And we have sponsors."

"Well, then. I don't see that as a problem," says Beetee. "But as we are allies and this will require all our efforts, the decision of whether or not to attempt it is up to you four."

Something that Katniss mentions brings doubt to my mind. The Careers will be safe too, unless they're around the water. We are betting that they would be around the water, but have no real certainty of it. If they are not there then we just eliminated the only place that we can defend against the Careers and still have food source. In the jungle we would have to move between zones and not know when one zone starts and another ends.

Something is off about the plan. Beetee is not the kind to leave things up to chance. Could he have another alternate plan? If it works and the Careers are dead then we escape from our alliance. The group would have been dwindled down to only two possible enemies, Chaff and the broken alliance. If they eliminate the food source then it forces us to look for food in the zones and the only way to know which zone it is, is to come to the beach. We would have to rest in the zones after the specific times. Too many variables, too many unknowns.

I would have to get Katniss alone in order to see what she wants to do.

"Why not?" she says. "If it fails, there's no harm done. If it works, there's a decent chance we'll kill them. And even if we don't and just kill the seafood, Brutus and Enobaria lose it as a food source, too."

Well that settles it. I will have to go along with it. It is the only way to get them not to be suspicious of our plan to defect.

"I say we try it," I say. "Katniss is right."

Finnick looks at Johanna for confirmation.

"All right," she says. "It's better than hunting them down in the jungle anyway. And I doubt they'll figure out our plan, since we can barely understand it ourselves."

"Okay, well, if we are to implement the plan, I would need to inspect the tree," Beetee says.

Finnick looks up to the sun. "What do you think Katniss, nine?" he asks.

"Looks like it," she responds. "We would have to get moving if we are to make it before noon.

Both of us look at Beetee trying to walk and realize that he is going to have to be carried as he is still too weak to make the hike.

We pack up everything and begin to walk towards the lightning zone. Johanna takes the lead with me and Finnick in the middle each taking turns to carry Beetee. Katniss takes the rear.

We walk slowly as we go into the jungle. We are no longer under any sort of protection from the beach. Sweat pours down from my brow as I carry Beetee. He isn't really all that heavy, just the humidity in the air doesn't help. I could be carrying a leaf and still be sweating as profusely.

It reminds me of the walks we had through the fields of District Nine, the heat, sometimes you cannot even breathe. We had just arrived to the Justice Building and found that the District was going through a heat wave. People were passing out from the heat in the fields. To make matters even worst we were experiencing a blackout and even the Justice Building had no electricity. The only thing that made it bearable was the cool evenings where the mountains cool air would blow through the district.

What I wouldn't love to get a cool wind right about now. We had moved the bed to the window sill. The window on the second story room allowed for a great cross wind. The air would go through our sleep wear and at first it helps cool us off, but through the night it did cause us to seek each other for heat.

The next day while we were eating breakfast, I mentioned it to Katniss.

"Don't you just love the heat?" I ask sarcastically.

"Oh yes, one of the things I certainly miss in our District." She says.

"What I wouldn't get to be back on that beach in District Four," I say.

"Well if you just think about it, you can fool you mind into thinking we are there." She says. "Describe it for me?"

"Well the soft sand between our feet. The wind in our hair, it whispers in your ears. The ocean waves crashes on the coast. You smiling." I say.

I open my eyes and see her there blushing.

Thinking of it makes me less hot. Not the District but thinking of her happy.

We see the tree and Finnick calls out to Johanna and Beetee.

"Katniss can hear the force field," he says. "she should lead."

"Hear it?" asks Beetee.

"Only with the ear the Capitol reconstructed," she says.

He looks at her like he is trying to see if it is true. I still remember Katniss telling me back in the Training Center of how Beetee and Wiress showed her about the force field that protected the Gamemakers.

"Then by all means, let Katniss go first," he says. "Force fields are nothing to play around with."

I see Katniss grab a couple of nuts and begin to 'hear' the force field by throwing nuts and waiting to see where it would hit. She walks around the lightning tree and finally tells us.

"Just stay below the lightning tree," she tells us.

"Okay, so I will need to take some measurements, shouldn't take long," Beetee says.

"Katniss feel like going to get us some delicious tree rat?" Finnick asks.

"Okay," she says. She turns to me and tells me "I won't be long."

"Here, can you get the group some water, Johanna?" Katniss asks handing her the spile.

"I will go and gather some nuts," I say.

Well it is the least I can do, after all. Can't really hunt, or protect Beetee, and the last time I grab some water almost got killed by some Monkeys. Picking up nuts on a leaf seems safe enough. We hear the wave from the ten o'clock zone and begin to walk back to the lightning tree.

We gather around and Katniss begins to clean the tree rats she just killed. I had already started to roast some nuts when I see her. She smiles and walks over.

"Still good at gathering," I say showing her the nuts.

She grabs my hand knowing me oh so well. "You are good at a lot of things."

"Yes, making breads and pastries," I say proudly. "Too bad there isn't a way I can bake a loaf of bread with poison."

"Peeta," she says. "You are good at making me smile."

I look at her and smile.

"Come; let's cook this wonderful meal, which if you remember, you thought of on how to cook it." She says.

After eating a couple of bites, I see that Beetee is still taking calculations and muttering odd things to himself.

"Well, that explains a lot" he would say. All we could do is just look at each other and try not to lose it by laughing. That is only interrupted by the clicking noise from the eleven o'clock zone. We start to play a game of who can guess what the animal is.

"It's not mechanical," Beetee says.

"I'd guess insects," Katniss says. "Maybe beetles."

"Something with pincers," Finnick adds.

After hearing and making a couple of more guessing. Johanna finally chimes in.

"We should get out of here, anyways. There's less than an hour before the lightning starts."

We all agree and walk to the next section, the blood rain section, We sit down by the same tall tree of that section.

"Katniss, since you are the best at um, climbing tress. Think you can go up and tell me what you see when the lightning hits?" Beetee asks.

"Sure," she says.

I see her climb the tree as high as she is able to. When the lightning hits the tree, you can see she covers her eyes. After a couple of seconds she comes back down and tell Beetee about how the tree turns a hot blue white color and the air crackles of electricity.

"Interesting." Beetee says taking down notes. "Well my findings are complete if you like we can walk back to the beach."

"Let's walk back to the wave zone," Finnick says. "No need in walking through the fog if we don't have to."

We walk through the lightning zone and walk over to the wave zone. You can tell that from the huge wave coming in at the same time that the ground is being taken out by the water.

Once we are finally back on the beach, we quickly take a look around for Brutus and Enobaria. When we find that they are not on the beach, we set up camp.

"There is no need for any additional work today. I do have to finish my calculations but we should have all the physical work we need in order to prepare the trap." Beetee says.

I look to her and ask. "So what do you want to do?"

She grabs my hand, and leans over to my ear. "Sleep."

I let out a soft chuckle and have her take me by the hand to the camp. We both lie down and with my arm around her, we fall asleep. Her body calms me and allows me to dream. Don't really remember what it was about but know that it included her, because when I woke up, there was a joy in my heart that always happens when she is my dreams.

I see her eyes, and tell her.

"How did you sleep?" I ask.

"Peacefully," she says "Seems you did as well."

"Whenever I am next to you, I sleep without a care in the world." I tell her.

"Hey you lovebirds" Finnick calls out from the water. "Think you can help me with dinner?"

I pull her up by the hand.

"What do you need us to do?" I ask.

He hands me a spear and shows me the water.

"Can you fish?" he asks.

We spear fish, gather shellfish, and Katniss even dives for oysters. After collecting and spearing a couple of fishes. We start to pry open the oysters. Katniss has just walk off to the camp to get everything prepared, leaving me and Finnick alone to prepare the oysters.

"We have a little tradition in my District when it comes to oysters," Finnick says.

"Yeah what's that?" I ask.

"Once a year we have a tradition that all of the males of the District would collect oysters for the ones they love. Inside oysters, it is very rare, but sometimes you can find a pearl. I have never found one myself, but the things is this, if you find one, it is said that because an oysters spends almost its entire lifetime making it, preparing it, that the person who finds it, it is said that their love will last for a life time, because a pearl is forever."

"We have something similar, but bread." I say.

"I remember that from your interview, you mentioned it." He says.

I grab my knife and begin to prop open one, two, three oysters. Finnick sees me and shakes his head. Just as we are almost out of oysters I grab one near the bottom. It is the smallest one out of all of them. Its outer shell is bruised with many scars almost like it has been through a lifetime of painful circumstances. I stick my knife in, crack it open and there inside is a perfect white pearl.

"Well I be damn," Finnick says. "If I didn't see it with my own eyes, I would have never believed it.

I jump and cheer and see that Katniss turns around.

"Hey, look at this!" I say showing her the pearl. "You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls."

"No, it doesn't," Finnick says.

Katniss begins to laugh remembering that our old guide Effie Trinket had mentioned this in our Games. I rinse off the pearl and hand it to her.

"For you," I say.

She looks at it, examines how beautiful it is.

"Thanks," she says, closing her hand around it. She looks at me, intent on saying something, but I know what she is thinking. It didn't work. My plan to convince her that she is needed by her family. She still is going to try to save me.

"The locket didn't work, did it?" I ask. She looks down away from my glance. "Katniss?"

She looks back at me, eyes locked on mines.

"It worked." She says.

"But not the way I wanted it to," I say, looking away.

"Peeta,-" she starts to say, before I hear Finnick tell her to let me have some space.

I work the remaining oysters knowing that everything I do, she will still end up saving me. Then what will I do without her? The thought is too much, so I stop opening the oysters and walk back to the camp.

We eat our meal. Another package arrives. More bread and a red sauce for the oysters. No one talks; well at least I make it my point to tune them out. My main concern now is how to keep Katniss from her plan. To die for me. It is something that I will not allow.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty Seven

The Capitol's anthem starts to play and everyone in our group looks up to see the Capitol Seal, everyone but me. If we weren't in the arena or at the 74th Hunger Games last year probably I can come to appreciate the anthem. It was composed by very brilliant musicians in the Capitol. The Capitol researched on the perfect tone and harmony to incorporate into the Anthem. Their intention was to make it pleasing for everyone. It crescendos at the perfect moment, and the strings and bass are implemented perfectly. It only takes knowing that there is a dark side to it to cause you to cringe every time you hear it. Even the music that is in its perfect tone and harmony can be the worst sounding experience by what memories it brings to your mind.

I just stare at the ground; the song brings the memories of the dead. These faces haunt my dreams every night. They play on my emotions and cause me to do things and feel things that I shouldn't. We have lost so many people, children really.

There are only eight of us left. The whole time while I was eating, I ran the different scenarios through my mind. It haunts my every thought. The worst one came just now. If there is a slightest chance that we both survive and are left to be the last two, then it would be our Hunger Games all over again. I doubt they both let us live this time around. If we try anything like that again, they probably shoot Katniss first.

Every scenario that I run in my head, every strategy that I come up with ends with her dying, I am cornered in a bad location and have only one way out of it. The next time we meet up with the Careers I would have to get myself killed. That way, she wouldn't have to protect me, and would fight to avenge my death. The best scenario would be the Careers but if it doesn't happen I would have to pick a fight with our allies and get killed.

The only thing is to get separated by Katniss. She would protect me if the Careers attacked. If I attacked the allies, then she would defend me even killing the people that had saved me.

I am snapped back into reality.

"It's time," Finnick says.

"We only have a couple of hours before midnight," Katniss says. "Do we have enough time?"

"Well we timed it the last time, and it is about the same time now," Beetee says.

We pack up the camp, and begin the same hike we did earlier that day. This time around though Beetee even walks a little. My thoughts are that he wanted to give us the worst possible scenario to test how long it would take to reach the lightning tree. To test who was in the best conditions by taking mental notes of who is the strongest and how we move through the jungle. There is something to say about Beetee, he always pays attention in the right situations to see how best to survive.

We make it to the lightning tree without any issues. The wave hasn't started so we know that we still have around two hours or so. Every one drops their equipment. There is a job at hand so we wait for further instructions.

"Finnick can you help in running the wire around the tree?" Beetee asks.

They start to weave the wire around the tree in a sort of pattern. I guess the pattern has to do with the conductive nature of the wire. Once done, Beetee turns to me.

"Peeta, can I borrow your knife?" Beetee asks.

I grab my knife and hand it to him.

The sound of the wave triggers my head to turn and now that we are running out of time. After the wave are the insects and then the lightning. If I had to calculate how much time we have, I would say about an hour and a half or so.

"Okay, here is what I need you to do." Beetee says to Katniss and Johanna. "You two are the fastest in this sort of environment so I need you and Johanna to take the wire here unwinding along the way to the water. You are to lay the wire on the beach and make sure that the rest of the wire sink to the bottom of the water. It is, imperative, or important that the wire sinks to the bottom." So it will be Katniss and Johanna through the jungle.

Beetee has left me only with plan B. I would have to pick a fight with an ally. For some reason I can't, not Finnick, not after I heard about Annie, and the oysters. He out of all people would know what I would be trying to do and more than likely not kill me.

Johanna on the other hand, she could care less. She is more emotionally driven and wouldn't see it or probably wouldn't care. The best thing to do is to fight either Johanna or one of the Careers.

"I want to go with them as a guard," I say.

"You're too slow. Besides, I'll need you on this end. Katniss will guard," says Beetee. "There's no time to debate this. I'm sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now."

Beetee hands Johanna the wire. They begin to get ready to make a run for it. Katniss turns and looks me in the eyes.

"It's okay," she says. "We'll just drop the coil and come straight back up."

Something tells me that this would be the last time I see her. I look at her, smile and nod.

"Not into the lightning zone," Beetee interrupts. "Head for the tree in the one-to-two o'clock sector. If you find you're running out of time, move over one more. Don't even think about going back on the beach, though, until I can assess the damage."

She walks over to me and I can hear Johanna telling her that they have to hurry. It is like she knows this would probably be the last time. She grabs both of my hands, and I look down at the ground. Don't think that I can bear looking at her again. She will always be the one I love, the one that I would forever love. I want to close my eyes and remember this memory. The feel of her hands, the short breathes. Her voice, I want to remember everything.

She lets go of my hands and cups my face in her hands. She lifts it up to meet her eyes. Her small hands warm and inviting, how my hands longs to be with hers, how my arms long to be around her. To feel her around me, is the one thing I wish I would wish for if I had a final wish.

"Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight." She leans in and kisses me lightly. I close my eyes and feel the softness of her lips dancing on mines. My hands stay on the side, knowing that if I held her, I wouldn't want to let her go.

She turns to Johanna. "Ready?" she asks.

"Why not?" says Johanna. "You guard, I'll unwind. We can trade off later."

In an instant she is in front of me and then gone through the jungle.

"Goodbye," I say in a whisper.

I turn back and slump down to touch the ground. I feel the tap on the shoulder.

"She will be fine," Finnick says.

I turn back and see him. Guess it is time, and my only hope is that Finnick falls for it.

"She is not fine. We are not fine. Don't you understand that sooner or later we will have to kill each other?" I say. "To tell you the truth, we were going to break off the alliance, because neither one of us wanted to kill any of you."

"No, no, no, that would defeat the plan." Beetee says. "We have to stick with the plan."

"This whole plan doesn't make any sense." I say. "I don't trust it."

"She will be protected. She is the mockingjay." Finnick says.

"You guys talk in riddle. You do things that you shouldn't," I raise my voice to them. "You protect me from dying, you save my life, even if we were allies, and this is something you don't do."

"Peeta, it is complicated, and we really cannot get into it right now." Beetee says. "You are going to have to trust us."

"Trust you?" I ask. "Don't you realize that we are called to kill each other? Can a prey trust a predator?"

"We are not your enemies," Finnick says pointing to both himself and Beetee.

It doesn't make sense.

Just then the wire starts to vibrate. Beetee comes to wire and sees that it is loose. He tests the wire.

"Finnick something is wrong," he says. "It seems like the wire has been cut."

We all look to each other, no one has to say anything, but from the comment I can tell this isn't part of the plan.

"Katniss!" I shout and start running towards the beach. Something is wrong. If she dies what good is my plan. What good is the plan? Just the thought of her dying, my heart races and I push myself even more.

"Peeta -" Finnick tries to stop me.

I come crashing through the jungle, and see someone running away from the now cut wire. They are running towards the blood rain section. One stops and the other continues running.

Brutus and Enobaria.

Brutus stops. "Keep on going, head them off; they are heading to the beach. I won't be long." He tells Enobaria.

Katniss and Johanna are in trouble but I am sure they can take her by themselves.

"No one to protect you now, boy." He says taking out his sword and cracking his neck from side to side. I go to get my knife and that is when I remember, I had given it to Beetee earlier. "Almost doesn't seem fair. Don't worry it will be quick. Don't try to run, for once be a man. Or are you going to hide behind her again, like you did last year?"

Well this is what I wanted. To die by the hands of a Career, this is the only way. We circle each other, from the other side of the camera, it might look like a wrestling match is going to begin. My brothers are probably cheering me on, while my father is downstairs drinking. He told me once we got back that when he saw me fighting Cato he was downstairs drinking liquor that Ripper had given him.

"No witty response?" He says. "Good, I will make sure to make you scream."

Just as he is about to attack I hear someone yell out.

"Stop!"

We turn and see Chaff there, breathing hard. In his hand he has a sword. This is the first I have seen Chaff since the first day in the Games. Reminds me of Thresh, or something that Haymitch would have done, separate from everyone until it is absolutely time.

"Brutus, we're running out of time. We have to move." He says.

"What?" I ask. "You are with him?"

They both ignore me; it seems that they are having their own conversation. Just like Beetee and Finnick.

"I don't care about any rebellion. All I want to do is to rip him apart, limb by limb. Cato deserves that, he deserved to win, not him." He shouts pointing the sword at me.

"This is bigger than them, you know this. We have an opportunity, a real one. But if you can't see that then if you want him, you have to get through me." He says stepping in front of me.

Rebellion? What did Brutus mean? Does Chaff know about the uprisings. Nothing make sense anymore. Finnick mentioning the mockingjay, like he knew something more. What am I missing here?

"Well it was bound to end like this. Let's see who still has it in them stumpy." He says and charges in.

Chaff knocks me down to the ground before he lifts his sword to block. I fall to the ground and see the two warriors battle it out. Their movements are fast and their strikes are intentional. They don't swing like young tributes would; they conserve their energy to strike when it is opportune. A block here, a slash there, a hit across the face, another to the stomach. They exchange blows like there is little time. Each swing is meant to kill, no hesitation on what the intention is.

In the end it is too much for Chaff and Brutus knocks out his sword. Chaff not willing to go down that easily rushes Brutus and is able to wrestle his sword away, only to find that Brutus had a knife in his other hand. He is unable to deflect the hand with his arm, and he cuts open his throat. I see him there dying on the ground.

He looks to me, and points the sword.

"This one is all on you, just like the others." He says. "Their blood is on your hands. They die protecting you, because of some fantasy, something that would never happen. Filling their heads, you deserve this, not them" He says.

The cannon fires and I know that Chaff is gone.

I stand and pick up the sword still with Chaffs blood.

"Coward! Bastard! You are just like the rest of them in the Capitol! You killed him, not me." I say. "You will die today; make no mistake about this, Brutus."

It happens so fast, and it is all a blur. It is like I stop caring about everything and all I wanted to do was end his life. Bits and pieces are all I can focus on. I see the cuts and the slashes and yet it is like I am outside my body looking in.

Finally he starts to back off, knowing that I have cut him deeply, I see his blood all over me. He drops to his knees trying to hold the blood gushing from his leg. I walk towards him, he starts to plead. I don't hear him anymore, he doesn't deserve to live. Everyone in the Capitol would want me to end it, to end his life.

Just then I see it. It sits on the branch. The first one I have seen this whole time in the arena. Am I imagining it? It starts to sing. A mockingjay.

This snaps me out of where ever I was. She is worth more than him. I turn away from him.

"Katniss!" I shout and wait to hear a response. Nothing. If anything it would draw Finnick, Johanna or Enobaria,

"Katniss!" I shout again.

That is where I hear it, it is faint, but I know that I hear it.

"Peeta! Peeta! I'm here! Peeta!"

I start to move towards the sound. Her voice is coming from the lightning tree. Running like nothing else matter.

"Katniss!" I yell out. I wait for the response but it doesn't come. Has something happened? Who is left? Who is left? Beetee, Finnick, Johanna and Enobaria, is she dead?

Just like that all I see is the sky turns a dazzling blue light. Blinded, I immediately stop. The whole world has gone white, and I cannot make out the trees, or the ground. I hear the blast a couple of seconds later and immediately sent backwards to the ground. The ringing in my ears. Blinded and now deaf, I fumble to my feet.

I see an image running towards me, but cannot make out who it is. Finally the image comes clear but the ringing doesn't stop. I see talking to me but I cannot hear a thing. I try to make out what she saying. She shakes me trying to force me to listen. I yell out

"I can't hear you!"

She shakes her head no as if she can't hear me either.

Finally I focus on her lips. I make out the words.

"Katniss…is…safe…the…rebels…have…her…"

I nod. That is all I can do, I don't know if I should trust her. She pushes me to the side and throws an ax behind me. I turn and see one of them collapse to ground. Something embedded in his head.

She hands me a knife from her belt and turns around. We place our backs touching to each other and see that we are surrounded. There must be about twenty or thirty black figures with lightning sticks and helmets to cover their faces.

Who would have thought? The only thing I can do is trust her. We position ourselves to fight.

Johanna Mason my newest ally.


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty Eight

My heart wants to believe what my mind doubts. How can I trust her? For all I know Katniss is dead and soon enough Johanna Mason would bury an ax in my back. It was in that split second where she tells me that the rebels have her that my heart believed it.

Haymitch told us that an uprising was not possible in District Twelve, but he never mentioned if he believed that the rest of the Districts would be able to get together against the Capitol. I think back to those moments. Hearing Katniss talk about what she saw on the television about District Eight. The possibility of a rebel alliance between the Districts would explain a lot of what has happened in the arena.

Every Victor, from every District was at one time a Mentor. They all talk to each other, so it stands to reason that they would be the ones to organize this. The Victors sitting together in the Training Center, shows now a sign of solidarity. Being accepted by Chaff on the spear station and Katniss being accepted by well everyone at the archery section. We were made part of the group although never told.

Having allies in the arena when we told Haymitch that we were not interested in having any, everything is beginning to make sense.

It is only a sudden burst of wind that pops my ears enough to regain my hearing.

"No mercy, Peeta." Johanna interrupts.

My thoughts have been interrupted by the present danger that we face. We are surrounded by twenty to thirty solider types with stun sticks.

"Where is the third one? Signal indicates she is here" I can hear one with a radio in his ear ask the others.

"Yoohoo boys" Johanna calls out to them. They stop and look at her. "Looking for this?"

She lifts up her hand and there you see it. The transmitter in my hand covered in blood.

"Tribute #71071 has the transmitter" He responds to the others.

"Now really? 71071? Not even the decency to call me by my 71071" Johanna retorts. "Well you will be screaming it soon as I rip you apart."

"Sets them to stun." The one with the radio yells out to the rest. "He wants them alive."

They all look at their sticks and turn something on the handle.

"Johanna who are they? Is this part of the games?" I ask.

"They are the enemy. They are the ones who kill us every year." She yells pointing at them.

"You mean?" I begin.

"Yes, that is the Capitol soldiers." She responds. "Let's see who can kill the most, huh Peeta?"

They all rush us trying to get the upper hand. They don't realize that we have been preparing for battle for anything really. They on the other hand have never been in this situation. One lunges forward at me with the stun stick, I can see the electricity coming from the tip of the stick, that bright white electricity. I jump to the side and stab his forearm, which quickly has him drop the stick.

I sense another one coming to my left, swinging down towards me. I crouch down and roll out of the way, picking up the stick in the process. When I stand up, I bear down the stun stick on his back and see his whole body twitch in pain before falling unconscious on the ground.

The next one come and holds me down while a third one comes to electrocute me. Just as he approaches me, I see a knife blade come through his stomach. He slumps down to the ground. I see Johanna smiling, covered in blood. The adrenaline courses through my veins. I break free my left arm and stab the one holding my right arm in the neck.

"Pull back," One yells out.

They pick up their fallen soldiers and walk slowly. I see them press something on their fore arms.

"Ready for the pulse," The one with the radio says. We feel the ground begin to shake in anticipation of something. Just then the ground shoots up the electrical currents that are on the ladder of the hover crafts. We both struggle to stay standing but it is no use.

The last thing I see is Johanna still standing killing one more Capitol soldier before three of them bring her to her knees with the stun sticks.

I can hear her screaming obscenities to them as they drag her into the jungle. Two soldiers carry me through the same direction and I see the waiting hovercraft just landing on the beach. It doesn't look like the typical hovercraft it is all black and has some sort missiles attached to its wing.

The door lowers and they toss Johanna into it and the door slams shut. They tap a near control panel and another door opens. They throw me into the little room; it can't be more than five by five made of solid steel. I can hear her banging on the walls to my left and to my right. To my left is Johanna.

"Capitol dog!" she yells through the door. "Open the door so I can rip out your heart."

"Stop it!" the person in the other room yells out. "Johanna stop it. You need to save your strength."

The voice is familiar but unknown. It is a female voice and calm not angry. The hovercraft hasn't moved, and through a slit in the door I can see the jungle and the group of soldiers coming back.

"Traitor," Johanna responds. "Don't tell me what to do. You knew the plan; your were supposed to get him out. We were all supposed to get out."

"He did get out. I left Brutus to get him out. He was supposed to get him out. I was to meet up with Four and get the bird out." She responds.

"Then why is he right," bangs the wall "next" bangs the wall louder "to us!" bangs the wall uncontrollably.

I finally slump down against the wall. The cool steel feeling numbs my hands. My thoughts drown out the banging and the vibrations of the walls. It is the first time that I think of her. My heart trusts the feeling that she is safe. What happens to me now, doesn't matter, as long as she is safe. I am at peace now. She is all that matters. I close my eyes.

I can hear the bird singing. I see her in the place that only exists now in my mind. It is the spring time, in District Twelve. I see the gravel road beneath my feet. I can hear the crunching sound of the gravel on my boots as I walk. My sights goes from side to side, the trees are alive again. The green leaves look like something that only paint can mimic. I can see the tree that my father pointed out to me years ago. There is someone leaning on the tree looking out to the valley. Her long brown braid lies in the center of her back. She turns around at the sound of my feet. Her hands held together by her waist. She looks at me, and I look at her. Our eyes meet and we just stare at each other, before she smiles. The soft yellow dress falls perfectly and I see small flowers in her hair.

"Been a long time," she says.

"It was just yesterday that I saw you on the beach," I say. "Remember the pearl?"

"Yes, I still have it." She says.

I grab her by the waist lift her up and spin her around. She laughs and holds onto me tightly.

"Just remember, that I love you," I tell her. "Please remember that. I will always love you, and you will forever be in my heart."

The tears come down my cheeks.

"Don't you ever forget that. You will always be the one that I love." I say, knowing full well that this is only my heart wishing to tell her what I hope she already knows. She looks at me, with a smile on her face. She is about to say something when the explosion jars me out.

I open my eyes, to see the metal walls and the banging on them from Johanna Mason.

Three soldiers approach the hovercraft; I can barely hear what they are saying. I see them hitting their radios, it seems like something is interrupting their signal. They walk around lifting the radio to the sky until finally they are close enough to hear.

"Primary target, has escaped. We have found the tracker on Tribute 71071, who we have in custody." He says. "What are your orders?"

"Do you have the secondary target?" The person on the other end of the radio asks.

"Secondary target is secured." he responds.

"Return to retraining center for detention and extraction." The person responds.

"Base, what about the other two tributes that we have captured?" He asks.

"Bring them as well for subject testing." The main responds.

A cold chill runs down my spine. Detention and extraction, subject testing, what horrors await us? The only thing that brings me peace is that I can make out that the Primary target was Katniss and she has escaped. The hovercraft engine turns on and I feel the craft begin to lift. Who knows where we are going and if we would survive what will happen.

It feels all like a bad dream. One that I know I would not be able to wake up from. Johanna and Enobaria have quieted down.

"Johanna," I call out.

Nothing. I press my ear to the wall and can hear her breathing. I walk over to the other side and place my ears and can hear faintly Enobaria muttering something over and over. Seems we are all broken. We put ourselves as Victors but all we are, are broken children that can never be put back together.

It is only a couple minutes before I feel that hovercraft is making a descent. I crawl over to the little slit on the door. I see a large tall fence surrounding what seems to be bard wire. There are towers that surround the central facility. I can hear a mechanical sound and see the floor opening, and the hovercraft lowering into the ground. I look up trying to catch the last glimpse of the stars outside. Something of beauty before all I see is darkness.

The hovercrafts lands and I hear the alarm sound. I hear doors opening and hear the footsteps of soldiers spreading out in a rhythm.

The speaker feedbacks and I can hear someone clear their throat.

"Welcome, Tributes of the Quarter Quell," the voice says. "You have been brought to a detention center outside of the Capitol for your protection. It seems that some of the rebels from the districts have interfered in the Quarter Quell and are being dealt with as we speak."

I look around quickly and make out about fifty or so soldiers around the side of the hovercraft that I can see.

"We understand that your minds need time to process this, and to accept that we are not your enemy. Therefore we have brought detention officers to prevent you from hurting yourself or others."

They take out their stun sticks and I can hear the cracking sound of the electricity pulsing from the tips. My hairs on my arms begin to stand in anticipation.

"The doors to your detention quarters will be opening in a couple of minutes. Should you try to attack the officers, we will subdue you. Our desire is to not do this, so the choice is up to you."

"Tribute 71071," the voice announces. I can hear the door opening and Johanna yelling out and attacking the first soldier that tries to grab her. Five soldiers shock her with their sticks and she goes down to the ground.

I see them carry her off to the doors. They open and then close.

"Tribute 62021," the voice announces. The door opens and I see Enobaria walk out and turn around, they place restraints on her wrists and walk her through the same door.

"Tribute 74122," the voice announces. I see my door begin to open. Their stands five soldiers ready to see what I will do. I close my eyes.

I see her face.

"Remember that I will always love you." I tell her. "I will love you forever."

I open my eyes and walk out. They place restraints on my wrist and walk me through the door. The blinding white light causes me to close my eyes.

I hear the door closing behind me, locking from the outside.

I whisper. "Remember that I will always love you."

END OF BOOK TWO

Thank you to all who have journey with me through the life of Peeta. Writing this has allowed me to experience his life through my eyes, and I hope that I was able to show you that through the writings.

As always thank you.

E.W.S.


End file.
